A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his
flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he
picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange,
disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying,
"Jesus Is watching you."
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his
flashlight out, and froze. When he heard nothing more
after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a
vacation after the next big score, then click the
light on and began searching for more valuables. Just
as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the
wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching
you."
Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically,
looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the
corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest
on a parrot.
"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot. "Yep,"
the parrot confessed, and then squawked, "I'm just
trying to Warn you."
The burglar relaxed. "Warn me huh? Who in the world
are you?"
"Moses," replied the bird
"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people
would name a bird Moses?"
"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler
Jesus.


A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.