Axiom Home Page Forums General Discussion The Water Cooler For the Ladies

My wife loved these so I figured I would post.

WHEN WE GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH............

1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSES ARE.

2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING OUR BUTTS
WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.

3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND
HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.

4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A
HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO.

5. WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE, THAT WE LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH.

6. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG
PLAY'S BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"

7. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO US.

8. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.


9. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US BY GIVING US JUST
LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN.

10. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE
KITCHEN FLOOR (or the mop?)

11. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN WE SIT ON IT.

12. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT WE'RE
HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.

Oh my gosh...there obviously aren't a lot of ladies here, but I can (embarrassingly ) vouch for some of these claims! We won't go there though!

#12 answers a question that I have wondered about for years...

I had a feeling you might recognize a few of these, from friends of course My wife did to.

I've *never* taken my shoes off for that reason, but I've blamed them for falling on my a** when #3 occurred! HA!HA! To this day, my friends don't believe it was from the shoes, but I've often slipped in those same shoes sober. Oh, and don't ask about what happened in #3. I'll only mention that I didn't get hurt except for my hand when I fell. Also, please keep in mind that this happened over 15 years ago! I'm inclined to think that I'm not that stupid anymore...at least I hope not!

I like #2 in slow motion, losing the WOOHOO and replacing it with the theme to 'Never on Sunday.'