I know, the title doesn't really work for when people are going to post here, but the threads that end with "tonight?" seem to do well.

I had a weird dream a couple nights ago. Sean, you may appreciate this one slightly more than the others, as it had Cari, the girl you met along with me, in it.

We were vacationing in Hawaii, and some other friends met us there after we'd been there a couple of days. Most of the time we were in this huge mall just walking around, but then after my best friend and his wife arrived, they wanted to discuss what we could all do together, so they had us meet on the beach. Cari and I were headed there, but then we parted ways for a while, still in the mall. I ran into Cari again, and she had a drink. It was a virgin fruity drink. She said she got it because the vendor wasn't selling sodas yet, like they couldn't sell soda before a certain time.

Anyway, we got to the beach to talk about stuff, but then my dream veered and I was headed home in a plane. It was already the
middle of the flight, and I woke up to find there had been problems. It was supposedly getting better. It had been a red alert, but they adjusted it to a "negative orange," whatever the hell that was supposed to mean. However, after this upbeat announcement, one of the wings exploded, and the pilot started losing control. Also, for some reason, everyone was cocooned in their own padded chamber. I was unable to see anyone else, just my own chamber. But yeah, as we descended, destined to impact with the ocean, they were announcing, "We're going in the drink! We're going in the drink!" over and over again. I prayed to God that I wouldn't die there, and thankfully,
that's when I woke.

It was really scary when I was dreaming it, but after waking, it seemed ridiculous and lame. However, I think I'm going to use "Negative Orange" as my next brand, after SuperGrand UltraDeluxe is old and tired. After all, the logo for Negative Orange is very easy.

This dream is obviously about you wanting bright-orange Audiobytes (the discrepency in color--negative instead of bright--is due to the "vacationning" side of this dream where you had to rely on photos that are not developped yet). Why did you afterward dream of being an ice-cube? That's stuff is for JP!

The problem I have with my dreams is that they are so vivid that I only realize I woke up after I come back from work. There is not much difference (as far as realism is concerned) between my dreams and my crazy work! So, half of the time when I recounting a dream, I suddenly stop and say: "wait a minute, it DID happen. oh! crap! I think I have promised something absurd for a customer! Be right back!"

Cool thread...

Negative Orange is one of the coolest names/phrases I've heard in a while. I'm really liking it. I dig it so much that I just bought the domains

negativeorange.com, .net, .biz, .info, etc ...

Charles, give me a call if you want to do business.



Heh

O.K., I didn't really buy the domains, but I did have this itch. A little powder solved that.

Your dream started off well enough, Charles, but the ending is harrowing. I like how dreams play alot like "B" movies--sometimes no rhyme or reason, and sometimes cheesy. I like the line at the end, "We're going in the drink."

I had another dream last night. I dreamed I was playing a video game with an exceptionally well-rendered city modeled after a real one. I guess reading about Grand Theft Auto IV got me excited. But yeah, in the dream I went around shooting down a bunch of people and structures. Then I found out that what I did in the virtual world happened in the real world, and I was going to be taken to court over my virtual actions.

For some reason I just thought of a weird ending to a dream I had a long time ago. I have no idea of the specifics of what happened, but I remember it was long and involved dream and right near the end everyone started singing a Def Leppard song. It was like a surreal musical. Apparently I was sleeping so soundly my alarm (which is set to the radio) didn't wake me up like it should have.

I dreamed I was hanging out with Tiana, Claire, and their boyfriends at Tiana's place, which was a house (looking suspiciously like my best friend's house growing up) instead of an apartment. The boyfriends were ignoring me, but Claire would try to tell me how cool her boyfriend was. She mentioned he scored a 5.0 on some test where 5.0 was the maximum score. I wonder if it was the dumbass test.

My sister was there, too, for some reason. We were going to take off, but then there were cheap cookies. I opened the package sloppily, and the cookies became a pile on the table. I took four. I was going to head out, but then I hesitated and asked Tiana's boyfriend if there was something I could put the cookies in for them. He tried to direct me to a box he thought had Ziploc bags, but it in fact had straws. I kind of just let it go at that point.

My mom was suddenly driving us home for some reason, but then I told her to stop so I could buy cookies and ice cream for everyone. My sister told her to stop at an A&H (whatever that is), as she had a coupon. Well, the A&H ended up being at the mall, and while there, we decided to take in a 9:00 movie. It was starring Jeff Bridges, though I thought it was weird because he kept doing a Harrison Ford-like smile. It started off with a sex scene which I missed because I was distracted, talking to other friends who ended up being there.

It was kind of cool. There was a concession stand right in the room itself, just dimly lit in neon.

The movie was getting kind of scary. Jeff Bridges was on a train, in a car that was wire cage, but with an open top. There was a car (automobile) inside the car, and he decided he needed to get into the trunk, so he started wailing on it with a shovel. I was afraid there'd be a body inside or something.

Anyway, two guys a couple cars away noticed his behavior and didn't like it much. They were the bad guys, apparently, and they started making their may toward Mr. Bridges.

With the train chase going on, I started talking to a veterinarian sitting nearby. For some reason, a lady had brought her dog with her to the movie. The veterinarian said he had to give the dog some medicine, and he got very serious (in a loud way) about it very quickly. He administered some foaming white stuff out of a syringe onto the dog's tongue, and we were presumably safe again at that point.

Only, then the doctor started raving about someone dangerous being in the theater. He addressed the entire audience, though he only told a specific few people to escape. He told them to leave and to lock the doors behind them. He mentioned several of my friends, and even Regina, so I guess she was there. Well, I didn't wait for any of them. I just started booking it, but as I was leaving, people were asking the guy who it was, who was this supreme evil they were facing, and he was yelling. "It's Bulldozo. Bulldozo is coming!"

As I was running away, I kind of got the feeling that I was Bulldozo.

Charles, lay off the sugar right before bedtime.


That is a crazy dream. It sounds very entertaining. I like how Claire's boyfriend is stupid, even in your dream.

You need to master the art of the waking dream. Then you can off the boyfriend and at least have a relationship with Claire while you doze.

I'm thinking that's probably one of Charles's worst courses of action, short of actually offing the boyfriend.

These inferences to the “dumb” boyfriend who has the girl that that Charles is pining over have me confused.

I am trying my hand at a new profession as a motivational speaker. How am I doing?

Had to read it a few times, but good one, Mike.

Ditto that.

You dreamed you were in Hawaii and you weren’t surfing? That’s just wrong.

I was surfing on the weekend. Kind of. I was sitting down and in a sea kayak.... but you still ride the wave with all the speed of a surf board. It's a blast but the water is still dangerously cold. I had a borrowed dry suit on but still passed on the bigger waves earlier in the day that equaled a chance of rolling. I'm happy to save those for summer.

I envy you just for being in the water. It’s been almost 4 months for me. How cold is the water there? The coldest I’ve ever been in was in Lyall Bay off Cook Strait in New Zealand. I think it was about 11C.

I almost tried the kayaking in February as the surf in Hawaii sucked. However, I opted to try one of those stand up paddle surfboards. It was better than nothing but I prefer the feeling when you make the drop.

I'm not sure exactly. My bay and the ocean freeze over in the winter months. It's been open for a long time now but we haven't had a hot spring. It's probably around the 10-11C mark.

In a couple of weeks, I expect my bay to warm up to 17 to 18C as it has somewhat restricted tidal flow. The ocean will reach that level by close to the end of June hopefully. I think it tops out there for the ocean but my Bay gets so warm it's not even refreshing after a while.

I'm not sure what my dream was about, but when I woke up this morning I felt like something was half-finished. In the past, when I was younger, I was able to continue a dream if I thought about it as I was falling asleep. In this case, having not details about what the dream was might be an obstacle...

I pretty much never remember any of my dreams, my wife says I will make running motions in my sleep or I have my arms extended up into the air and my hands look like I am putting parts together....hmmmm maybe it's time for a career change.

Professional Lego Builder?

Plastic surgeon?

last night for some reason (that I can't remember) I got up half way in the night, and put on a white tee shirt, but it couldn't be a v-neck, just a normal tee shirt, I put it on, then went back to bed.

I remember putting it on, and I remember really needing to put it on for some reason, but I for the life of me cannot remember why...

Perhaps you lent your v-neck to your date?

I often have a dream where I'm registered for an advanced German class that is over my head. I drop the class, but then at the end of the semester, I find out that the drop didn't go through and I'm still registered for it. So now I've got like two months of homework to do. Sometimes the dream blurs with reality and it's two months of homework to do but 15-20 years later (current day) and I'm an old fart amongst the college kids.

Go away, stress dream!

Wow, get out of my head! That nearly happened to me -- in reality -- but my drop ended up going through.

Math 54B? or was that Physics 7C?

German. just like the dream.

Weird.

Wondertwin powers, activate!

Now that I know Peter is my long lost twin, I can get him to do my German homework.

Das ist nicht möglich.

I just woke up from a good one. I dreamed I had a new baby (no idea who the mother was, however), and minutes after being born, the baby had his first words, saying "understand" twice in a row. Minutes after that I was already around town with my baby bragging to everyone about what a genius I had in my hands.

That probably mean you neglected your car and will need servicing soon (baby=car, bragging=neglect, everyone=soon, unknown mother=servicing). The doc should be able to go deeper into this car issue of yours.

I had a pretty messed up dream last night. It ran like a movie and was quite detailed.

I was a teenage version of myself and I was at summer camp. I witnessed one of the other campers accidentally kill someone. Later, I was walking with a fellow camper in the woods and was telling him about what I saw. Coming over a hill, we both saw the killer and a friend lugging something wrapped in a bedsheet through the brush. I said "Holy crap, that's him!" -- but I said it too loud, and the killer pulled a gun from behind his waist. Naturally, we both ran in the other direction as fast as we could. I remember trying to zig zag away as randomly as possible.

Cut to a few months or years (?) later. I am in my hometown, but not at home because I believe the killer is still looking for me. I'm in hiding -- maybe because I turned him in and he has since been released. I am laying down on the floor of a friend's bedroom, staring at the ceiling. I hear a knock on the window, start to freak out, but then calm down when I see it's a girl. She tells me that she's a martial arts instructor at a program that rehabilitates people with troubled pasts. She says the killer guy wants to talk to me and this is part of the rehabilitation program.

Cut to the martial arts studio. It's just me, the instructor, and the killer. He's in a white t-shirt and loose white pants. While he talks to me about getting over his past, he's pacing around, obviously tense, and quite obviously still harbors ill will towards me. The instructor seems concerned. As he's finishing up his canned speech, he's practically steaming. The instructor brings things to a close quickly and sends me on my way.

Cut to me in bed with two girls, but cut away before anything interesting happens (DAMN! That always happens. Damn Catholic upbringing....)

Now it's many years later and the guy tracks me down in a deserted location. We start fighting. (Thankfully he doesn't have a gun.) After many blows are exchanged, he produces a swiss army knife and lunges at he. I catch his wrist and try desperately to keep it away. Somehow I twist the knife and it's now pointing at him. I manage to cut him, but the he twists and then he gets me on the palm. (ow!) Eventually, the knife is out of the picture, we're both bleeding, and and laying on the ground. I get my hands around his neck and hold on for a long time.

After much gurgling and the normal stuff you'd expect while attempting to choke someone to death, his body was still, but there were still gurgling noises coming from his mouth. My hands were cramping, and I was sure he'd at least have brain damage at this point, so I let go and moved away. After a few moments, he stood up with an evil grin on his face. Oh, sh*t.

Cut to Steve Wozniak (yeah, the co-founder of Apple) explaining the immortality program the killer had been participating in for the last few years -- training to withstand stabs and choking. He had even replaced his ribs with metal replicas.

That's pretty much where I awoke.

So the guy who had seen mortality occur before him, by his own actions, ended up seeking immortality. I told you it was a messed up dream.

Man, my dreams never have that sort of continuity. But I do have a recurring thing where I have almost no strength in my body (yeah, yeah, bring on the jokes) and often end up in fist fights where I can barely even swing my arm, much less actually make an effective hit.

That IS a crazy dream. My favorite part is where Peter is inexplicably in bed with two girls. It's like a non-sequitor shoved in there. Kinda like how some love scenes are incorporated into bad movies.

Ken, I've read those types of dreams are fairly common. When I was a kid had a recurring dream where someone was chasing my down my street and I couldn't get my legs to remember how to run.

Another one I remember vividly is me waiting in the hall for my mom to get done doing her hair--she has the bathroom door closed. And all of a sudden strange people start coming down the hallway. They are all quiet and just stare at me. I try screaming for my mom, but my voice doesn't work.

Dreamed about the ex last night. No wonder I am cranky this morning!

Hmm.

Who are these guys? Just what were they doing back there anyway?

What line of work did you say your Mom was in?

I don't own a car. It would be pretty sad if my imaginary car needs servicing.

After I posted, I went back to sleep for a while, and I dreamed a lot more. I can only remember a little of it, though. I was at work, on break with my coworker, and I was looking around the cafe for something to eat. The cafe in my dream was a lot bigger than the real one, and there wasn't just food. There were books (including comics) and board games, too. As far as food, I kept looking at these giant muffins and cupcakes in boxes, but after browsing for my whole break, I still couldn't decide what to get. My coworker had already eaten her food and left. One of the workers in the cafe started flirting with me, though, which gave me a big head. But as I left her, I saw her start flirting with someone else just as hard. Shrivel.

I dreamed that I just got out of church and was running toward the car which was parked across the street. I was really sprinting, and well before I got to the car I started flipping and ultimately launched myself off the edge of the roof of the car into the air about 20 feet. I landed on the other side of the roof and used the little bounce from landing to deposit myself onto the asphalt. Another car nearby had maybe 4 rough-looking people in it, and they were applauding. Brad Pitt was one of them. Even though he was impressed, he still came out of the vehicle to drop some kung fu on me. We both started circling each other and striking while making over-the-top kung fu sounds. Fortunately, it didn't last long, and before any harm came to either of us, we stopped and went to his house.

I've lost what happened at this point. I just know I was at Brad Pitt's house for dinner, and his new girlfriend, which I don't think was Angelina Jolie, was cooking in the kitchen. We were talking in another room, but then it was just Brad Pitt. I don't know where I went. He decided it would be funny to dress up, and he pulled out Jennifer Aniston's face and put it on the top of his head like it was a wig. It was her actual face, not a mask, and it was appropriately wet on the underside, but thankfully my dream wasn't too graphic. Brad tilted his head down and began talking like he was Jennifer Aniston. He was saying in her voice how he had a lot of wigs for a lot of different looks, and he started holding up different wigs to her face. It's like he was putting on this show to entertain me, only I wasn't there any longer, which made it pretty disturbing.

Seriously? That's the part that was disturbing?

My thoughts exactly!

Ha ha, well, it's the feeling I got when I was dreaming it. Just go along with it.

Hey CV you were probably invisible, how else would you know what BP was doing. So that's not disturbing at all.

One of my coworkers (and a great friend) called during my dinner break tonight to tell me that her daughter had a dream about me. Apparently we (the daughter and I) were dating. Her daughter was in the background during the phone call, apparently saying that she could never show her face again. I asked if I was a good boyfriend in the dream, and her daughter said yes, yes I was.

Charles, if you recall, I suggested in your thread about the girl in the car at the intersection(the "crush")that you should take that as evidence that all these sweet young things(including Claire)were hot for you. Now it's even stronger, and you can clearly see that they're even dreaming about your bod.

Ha ha ha. They're only human, I suppose. I almost feel like I have to make this a lottery.

I dreamed I was going to the movies with Tiana and my parents. My mom never goes to the movies, so that was odd. I didn't know what we were there to see. I found out after they bought their tickets. It was some lame Angelina Jolie movie, and I remember thinking that THIS is what my mom started going back to the theater to see? But they were my ride, so I decided to go ahead and watch it. I didn't have a wallet, but rather a box of crap. I didn't find any cash, so I had to dig and find my debit card. I thought I'd known where it was, but I just kept finding combs. I had at least a dozen combs, and I was apologizing to the girl ticket seller. I stepped to the side to let other people buy, but everyone behind me was still deciding what to watch. I finally found my debit card and stepped back to buy a ticket, but she had developed an attitude and wouldn't sell me one. Thankfully, another cuter girl without a sneer said she would help me, and I stepped over to her booth. While I was buying my ticket, Hesta Prynn from Northern State walked up beside me and started chatting up the girl. I said, "Hey, it's Hesta Prynn!" and she was really happy to be recognized. She was already up next to me, so she just nuzzled her face on mine, and I took the opportunity to give her a kiss on the cheek. She laughed. I had my ticket at that point, so I left it at that. I don't remember exactly where Tiana came in to my dream, but she was there when I was finding a seat. It wasn't normal theater seating, but couches. My dad was already asleep on one of the couches, and I didn't really notice whether my mom was or not. Tiana was slouched in a couch on the back wall. I decided to join her on that one. The movie never started, as I woke up.

I keep dreaming of going to the movies lately. Maybe it's because I keep watching Letterman and Conan before going to bed, and people are plugging their movies.

Whenever I tell Tiana she was in a dream of mine, she thinks it's a little weird, but she's only ever making cameos, not really that involved.

At least a couple times in the last week, I dreamed I was pulling on extremely threadbare socks.

Your dreams remind me of when I first read Stephen King's collection of short stories. I keep waiting for the palm of your hand to get itchy and you realize it's because eyeballs are staring back up at you.

I dreamed that this one street in my town was getting a lot more restaurants. They were mostly fast food, but I was excited anyway. The street is a line of churches right now, and I was commenting to my friend in my dream about how they could continue replacing the churches with restaurants, that it was nice to have so much more variety in eateries. I said they could keep a church there, though, if it was the Church of Baked Goods. "Give us this day our daily bread!" we could say, I told my friend. I also made another joke, but I can't remember it upon waking.

I also dreamed I was camping somewhere and we had to kill like half a dozen wolves, and then some lady who was half-wolf, half-human showed up to avenge her family, but then it turned out she wasn't actually half-wolf, half-human, but a Sith master who had altered her identity to cover her assassination. Yoda showed up to tell her off, though, and then Yoda had us (me and my camping buddies, though I can't remember who they were) flying through space along with Han Solo in a stormtrooper outfit (helmet off). They were animated versions of ourselves. It was really odd.

Charles, lay off the sugar right before bed time, will ya?

What, you don't want me to post in this thread anymore?

I deleted my sentence that explained how then I'd be deprived of reading about your fantastical dreams, and somehow thought my winking smilie conveyed all that.

Oh, I thought you were just attracted to me. No wonder I thought I had a chance with Claire!

The curse of the misunderstood graemlin.

Hmmmmmmmmmm....

I never heard of no graemleihn.

He is the evil Norse God of Emotes. Once referred to to as the Norse God of Cave Porn but he had to modernize because he wasn't getting any references made to himself by the writers of today's Norwegian death metal and Viking rock band.

I dreamed that Claire dumped her boyfriend. Not to date me, but to date a guy named Roebuck Thoreau.

The Roebuck Thoreau?

OK, how many of you have Googled Roebuck Thoreau?

(raises hand)

With quotes, that's a Google buster, or whatever they call something that returns no pages.

Wasn't there a term for something that returns only one page, also?

Sorry for the thread hijack. Wasn't the first, won't be the last.

Mention it a few more times and this Axiom page will soon come up. I'm sure Axiom would love to associate themselves with the one, the only, Roebuck Thoreau.

Wasn't Roebuck Thoreau the original drummer for Negative Orange?

I don't know, but I bet Charles has the commemorative drumsticks made of the femurs of miniature cattle to prove it.

Either that's a reference I don't get, or you've gone completely mad.

They called me mad. Mad, I tell you!

J.P. keeps mentioning Facebook, and I actually dreamed of Facebook last night. I dreamed that Karen, one of my Facebook friends who I only know online, and I met, and while we were hanging out, she was on Facebook getting a comment from another friend about having a crush on me or something like that, and she downplayed it, but it was obvious we were going to date. I don't really remember specifics, but I was disappointed when I woke up and remembered that she was married now.

I dreamt that I got a pair of huge plywood speakers (sort of like Klipschorns) from Axiom. They had a monster woofer in the bottom, were unfinished, and had rather nicely finished Audiobytes in the middle. On top was a standard treble horn, as I recall. The dream was weird, because I kept calling Ian because they weren't working right, or the colors on the Audiobytes kept changing, or didn't match, and he said he had the same problem with his. I had them out in the carport.

Somehow I don't find any of this dream realistic...

Wow, and I thought CV had weird dreams. . .

I just woke up from a good one. I slept a long time last night! I fell asleep before SNL came on, unfortunately, and I only now woke up, so it was more than 12 hours of sleep.

I dreamed that due to some mix-up, I was being forced to go back to high school. I was a little late getting there on my first day, and the high school had changed so much, so I had to get help at the office. The guy gave me a printout of my classes for my binder, and he even gave me little maps with my classrooms filled in with red ink.

Since I was late, I got to see other kids roaming around who either had an open period or who were cutting. This one guy was a giant who was peeking into his girlfriend's class... on the second floor of one of the buildings.

After some wandering, I came upon this plain-looking girl with glasses. For some reason we started talking, and it seemed we were heading to the same class. But then as we got there, I started to doubt the map I'd followed. She said, "So you're in the Jakies class?" I thought I was supposed to be in Music Appreciation, but then I looked at my schedule, and it said "Musicale [...]"--oh, crap I already forgot what the word was, but it just sounded somewhat similar to "appreciation." Still, it didn't sound close to "Jakies" so I was kind of like, "Huh?" She explained that it was the Jehovah's Christians class. Instead of Jehovah's Witnesses, I suppose, and the class was supposed to be similar to seminary for the Latter Day Saints. Anyway, shortening Jehovah's Christians to "Jakies" seemed kind of sloppy, but I didn't say anything. However, everyone got on a bus at this point, and we ended up going to some guy's house.

The guy was sprawled on his couch. The guy was actually the main bad guy in Die Hard 2. Anyway, he said he'd been watching Paul Newman movies all day, like 8 or 9 of them, only I looked at his stack, and they were all Charlton Heston movies.

This is about where I woke up, or at least I can't remember any more of the dream.

Exactly what do you eat before you go to bed at night anyways????

It's gotta be everclear with anchovy pizza, with a side of peyote.

Sometimes soylent green eggs and ham.

That just means you're a people person....

Is that a serious asseussment?

I eat mine with a goat, in a boat. I prefer the goat, despite the stringiness.

I was dreaming I was an astronaut, along with a friend (though I can't remember who it was). We had made the atmosphere on the moon breathable. However, to be able to breathe it, I had to have my mouth right down on the surface, otherwise the air was too thin. My friend kept his helmet on so he could go around doing his experiments and what not. I kept my helmet off, despite the inconvenience of having to crawl everywhere, and despite developing some new moon disease from the plants that were responsible for maintaining the moon's new atmosphere. The only symptom I remember is that I was very tired. Apparently I have that disease, as I'm very tired, and I'm going back to bed for a little while.

Last night I dreamed I was hanging out with Trey Parker and Matt Stone, and we were fighting people (with non-lethal weapons of a kind I can't recall) in the parking lot of a mini-mall. Then I dreamed I was in bed with spiders crawling all over me.

I just woke up from a dream where my best friend and his wife were trying to cheer me up on Valentine's Day by opening her high school yearbook to show me ballpoint pen drawings of Snoopy's silhouette in various poses standing in different shapes of glasses (the holding-beverages kind, not the seeing through kind). The shapes of the glasses were made up of other Peanuts characters. It did cheer me up.

I dreamed Medic8r started this thread

I slept a little more and dreamed a little more. I dreamed I was in what looked like Target buying a Nintendo DS bundle with a game called Rear-view Mirror, which everyone in line kept confusing with Hitchcock's Rear Window. The game had really bad art, and it was apparently about a Princess who could jump through time. I told everyone I was going to give the game to my nephew.

I seem to remember a movie called Rearview Mirror.

I dreamed I was CV having a dream that Obama tapped Regina Spektor to be his Secretary of Music.

MLK, Jr. would be proud of your ability to dream.

my ex

Mmmmhmm ... interesting ... go on ...

*scribbles in chart*

TwistedAmbience's ex.



Bren R.

I was dreaming about some major catastrophe happening, and it was my responsibility to keep fires contained on some hillside. It started out as someone else, but it became me during the course of the dream. Random flames would pop out of the grass, and I would jump from wherever I was to land on them and extinguish them.I also prevented people from going up the hill, since greater disaster was taking place further up the hill. This one guy decided he needed to go up there, anyway, and I tried stopping him for a while. I can't remember exactly how, but it became clear that I wouldn't be able to stop him. Another guy came around, and they both were outjumping me, even with my insane jumping. They were basically mocking me, telling me I couldn't do anything to stop them. They suddenly seemed very threatening, and when they told me I could go up there with them, it seemed like they wanted to drag me along to kill me. I said, "No, you can go up there without me." "You can go up there with us," they insisted. "No, you can go up there without me," I repeated. Then I woke up.

There was also me with someone else looking in a small room of files at a library, trying to uncover what was causing the catastrophe, but I can't really remember where it fit in. There was also something about how I was in an HBO miniseries with really good special effects, but again, I can't remember exactly how that came up.

I had a couple more very involved dreams, including one where I was giving a sermon in order to show my mother I could do public speaking and therefore head up some new project she had going. Unfortunately, a group of "wolves" (that were actually lions) that were living in a stable behind the church got annoyed and started mauling people. I let them get mauled while I crawled around under the benches. No one else was even fleeing, though. They just sat there waiting to get pounced on.

There was more to the dream, but I can't really remember it. But after that dream, I dreamed I was explaining this dream to someone else. It was weird.

CV, you accomplish way more in one night's worth of dreaming than most people do in a month. You must be exhausted when you wake up.

I hate when I wake up all scared from my dreams and then I realize how ridiculous everything was.

Ooh, another dream. I dreamed my sister and I were at DisneyLand, in a big room with a lot of other people, all seated watching a video on McCain. It started making my sister cry, and I was all, "Don't worry, Barack was elected," only it became apparent that in the dream the election hadn't happened yet.

This old guy came out of the one voting booth and said, "If you came here to elect the new president, get out! Go home!" There was a pause as people looked in confusion at each other, and then he continued, "There are a lot of things we'd all like to do that we can't do." He then pointed out some pee on the back of his shirt, saying, "See? I did this while trying to go to the bathroom. Anyway, if you came here to elect, get out!"

People started leaving, satisfied that the voting process had indeed been canceled, but I stepped up and asked, "But what if we came here to dance around and eat food?" at which point I broke into dance with a double thumbs-up.

"Yeah, you can do that," he said, and I started dancing around like a maniac, which seemed to soften his demeanor. The music that was playing had a paused, so in the middle of my dancing I said, "And elect?" "No!" he replied. Well, I'd tried.

At that point, I exited the building like everyone else was still doing, and I started dancing off of everything. Only, I was unable to do everything I wanted to do because I'm 30 years old now. Even though I was doing a lot of moves I can't really do in real life, it was angering me that I couldn't do even more.

Anyway, I woke up inspired to dance around, only I'm visiting my sister right now (and typing this on my nephew's computer), and not everyone's up and around, so I don't need people getting mad at me for dancing. Plus, my ability would depress me even more than it was in my dream.

I also watched Letterman last night, and Bruce Willis promoted the Late Show Fun Facts book for him, saying it was "yippee ki-larious" (or however it was spelled), and I actually used that term to describe myself to my sister in my dream. I can't remember the joke I'd made to her right before declaring myself yippee ki-larious, though. Disappointing!

But.... the weirdest thing..... is while I was dancing, I peed up my back.....

CV, there must be something weird in the air at your sister's place. . .

Ha ha, I like how you try to come up with explanations.

I just woke up from one of my weirder dreams, and unfortunately the details are already fading. A lot of it took place in a mall, like several of my dreams have. I don't remember who I was with, but I decided in my dream that I was dreaming and started exerting control over what was going on. I've never had a dream like that, and I don't really think this one qualified, but I THOUGHT in my dream that it was that kind of dream. Anyway, I can't even remember what I was making happen, but after I would make it happen, I would turn to whoever I was with in the mall and do an exaggerated double thumbs-up and say, "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

Oh, one thing came back to me. I was in a store which sold... maybe electronics... or movies and music and what not, but their layout was actually pretty sparse, and my mall-walking companion and I (wish I could remember who it was) had entered in such a way as to make the glass front of the store shatter. The staff was mad and wouldn't serve us, instead causing Tron-like guys appear and try to subdue us. But since I believed I had control of my dream, I made the glass shards become a liquid and then reform into its former state. The dogs were called off.

Then we were looking for some club or restaurant or something with Paul Newman's name on it. I was thinking it was western-themed, I guess based on his Butch Cassidy character. We were having trouble locating it, so I asked a guy who looked like he wouldn't know where a western-themed club was. He was shaved completely bald and had glasses, and he sneered at me when I asked. The person I was walking with told me to ask this scruffy guy in a cowboy hat that was near us at that point, so I did, but he seemed even more clueless, and he must have had some kind of condition, as he couldn't really get out what he was trying to say. He may have also been drunk. Anyway, I used my dream powers to knock him away, and of course did the obligatory double thumbs-up/yeah-yeah-yeah chant.

I don't remember if there was anything between it or not, but the last thing I dreamed before waking up was a bit different. I dreamed I was in almost a nature kind of show, and a girl was showing me a creature that looked sort of like a huge oyster/Venus Flytrap that would trap similar-looking creatures inside itself. I commented to the girl on how it looked like it was eating smaller versions of itself, and the girl said yeah and laughed. Then we spotted a prehistoric-looking lizard creature with a huge fin on its back trucking along across the marsh. The girl, who seemed to be my guide, suddenly got scared and said we should leave. I asked her what the scary creature was called. She said it was a succubus. I asked her what it did. "It's a vampire," she said. We started running away. I can't remember if this part of the dream resolved or not. I may have woken up at this point.

Oh, now I remember how it ended. The girl and I left some food for the succubus, and then my view changed. I sort of floated up until I had a birds-eye perspective. I was looking to see if the succubus lizard would go for the bait or not.

Then my dream changed again. I don't remember the context, but I began singing about "Bad Evil Man."

Did anyone, at any point, say "tree fiddy" in your dream? Was there a Loch Ness Monster?

Ha ha, no, but I wish.

I had a dream that Ken was in an animal enclosure at a zoo playing fetch with a pair of hippos. Things were going ok for a while, but then he was too slow to pick up the stick and one of the hippos charged him, rammed him, and tossed him about like a rag doll.

Naturally, I was horrified. So I got to work designing a safety platform that would protect the stick thrower from the hippos. It involved a circular safety zone in which the thrower could safely move, surrounded by a pressure-triggered "hippo toss" zone. If a hippo stepped into the zone, it would get forcefully pushed up and away from the safety zone.

I was proud of my invention.

Sounds like a nice thing to invent after the fact!

Um... I'm a little frightened now.

Thanks for your sacrifice, Ken. Now, future hippo handlers will be safe.

Naturally.

*snicker*

I think his original sentence was, "Naturally, I was horrified, so I finished my nachos and then checked to see if Ken was okay."

Peter, that sounds like one of those "Eureka!" dreams that extremely intelligent people have when they let their brain work on a problem overnight.

You should immediately quit your job and invest everything you have (sell the family members' stuff, too) into bringing a "Hippo Toss Safety Zone" product to market.

I was just dreaming about being at a fair-type place. I was with friends. Claire was there, and another girl who I apparently knew and had liked, but only in the dream world. Anyway, she decided she liked me back, which made me excited, but I didn't have any direct interaction with her. I was just talking to other people about it. Then I ran into Elydia and her boyfriend. She was really happy to see me, like she always pretends to be. She said hi, and she tried introducing me to her boyfriend. "He's the billiards guy, remember?" Her boyfriend was trying to recall. "He said he didn't work there, but he really did." "Ohhh," her boyfriend said, "hey." Apparently I didn't help them out at some other job I had involving billiards, which seemed to amuse Elydia. To save a little face, I said to the boyfriend, "Well, I was trying to maintain my cover." He half-laughed, and I started walking away. I looked back to see Elydia smiling and staring at me.

In a dream I had before that, I was crawling through a winding maze of narrow tunnels while something kept exploding in the distance. Bits of the explosion were making it through the walls of the tunnels, so it was scary. It was the same thing exploding again and again.

Charles, your conversational powers need some work. It's your dream, remember?

Walking

*slaps your forehead* You are HEALED... get up, cast away your chair and WALK.... up now... get up and... yes, the power of the LORD says lay there on the ground and flip me off... it's a miracle!

Bren R.

I just dreamed about Jennifer Garner exercising in the neighborhood with little regard for adequate attire. Finally, a dream that gets me man points?

Whoah, the technology these days is amazing! How did you upload a picture of your dream?

You're a tease.

It was another weird dream. I don't remember anything except the last little bit before waking up. I was with my friend while he was trying to register as a patient somewhere, only it seemed like he was registering for classes, and everyone there was wearing blue blazers with gold badges. He was getting the run-around with where to go to register, and I was just looking around at the campus. I noticed a statue of a seated Abraham Lincoln, like at the Lincoln Memorial, only the Lincoln here didn't have a real beard, but a strap-on, and there was something disturbingly distant about his stare. I pointed him out to my friend and said, "Hey, look, molester in effigy!" I thought I was being funny, which I guess was enough to make him laugh.

A strap on???

*snicker*...

Lincoln with a strap-on?

Somewhere, Obama just felt an unexplained twinge....

A strap-on beard, though two monuments in one might be what we need to go for in these difficult times.

Do I want to ask what Lincoln had under his hat?

I think he called it his "Merry Toddler."

CV, the LOLcats have a contribution to this thread.

I was dreaming of this board, actually. MarkSJohnson was masterminding a crazy soap opera involving all of the regulars. He was sort of giving everyone a new character, and it was set up as kind of a game to start things out. I only remember the last thing in the dream. He was providing details for someone's "character," and he was saying it in the first-person: "I'd like to experience lupis oni someday." Lupis oni? I thought. "Wolf demon? Turn into a wolf?" Never mind the mixing of word origins and the strange mental leap about it meaning to turn into a wolf, somehow I was right, so I was bragging about cracking the code. I wish I could remember more about the game. Anyway, Mark, I guess you need to come up with a game for us to play involving us taking on new characters. That is, if you want to be the man of my dreams.

Just think, if he makes you a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich from the ingredients in his pantry, you could put his two nuts in your mouth.

I think you mean if Mark makes himself the sandwich

Hey, it's Mickey Moose!

I like my new Ferrari Enzo. VROOOOOOOM.

Is there even enough room in an Enzo to do the nasty?

Just a heads-up, which nasty are you referring to?

A Carrera Gt being a convertible, has more "headroom".

Porsche 911 Cabriolet, comin' right up!

Ha-ha!!

I'm dreaming about my 10 day Caribbean cruise that starts tomorrow. The weather here has been miserable, and I can't wait to feel 85 degrees again! Instead of brushing snow off my hair, I'll be brushing sand off my feet.

Damn you and your escapism!

I'm dreaming that I will get word tomorrow that the job with my company is approved and I won't be unemployed.... Because up to now, every night has been full of nightmares about the whole thing...

Hang in there Nick

I dreamed that one of you had posted about shooting clay pigeons out of the back of a Lamborghini. Is there even a Lamborghini that would allow for that?

Nope. The engine's in the way.

I dreamed that I had just bought a house that unknowingly came with a dangerous-looking dog in the garage. The garage itself was a complete surprise to me, but seeing the caged dog in there was quite off-putting. Even more interesting were the awards this dog had won: 1st place in the bite strength contest!

The dream didn't resolve itself. I think I sidestepped out of that one into another one I can't recall.

There are some Lamborghini roadsters, like the Gallardo and Murcielago spyders. In your dream the title on the car belonged to me, right CV? right!!

Ha ha, bite strength contest. At least you got a prize-winner. I'd probably dream that my dog was runner-up to yours.

I think it may have been wid.

Have another dream tonight and make him sign it over to me will you?

Hey, it could have very well been yours that he was simply taking for a test drive/shoot. It's foggy. He may have just been bragging about having the opportunity to do it, not actually owning the vehicle, right?

Very active in my dreams last night. I dreamed about Claire twice last night. I can't remember much, which is too bad, as I think I had some good lines. The thing I do remember is that we were sitting on a loveseat together, watching TV. She had her feet on my lap, and I was sort of drumming on them when her boyfriend walked in. I don't remember my first dream about her, though I know I had two, since I woke up in between them.

Then I dreamed about being at some resort. My brain couldn't decide whether it was on the pier or a ship. I don't remember much about that part of the dream. It started following this pair of cops who were escorting a convicted murderer to prison. Their car was a bit futuristic in that they only had to choose the destination, and it would drive them there. The problem is they got distracted by something, and the the criminal ended up punching in a different destination. They ended up in a shady part of town, and they started exchanging gunfire with thugs. The cops were killing a lot of them, but it became apparent they were going to be overwhelmed. Suddenly I was there, and it wasn't about the cops fighting for their lives anymore. The thugs were no longer firing their weapons, but they were chasing me on foot, uphill through the city. There was a lot of Matrix-like slowdown of the action, as I would occasionally turn around to kick stuff into their path.

Good stuff.

By the way, I may still kind of be dreaming, and if I'm not, then I'm probably jinxing myself, but I have a small chance of a date toward the end of April/beginning of May.

She put you on a waiting list for a month? Dude!

Month and a half to two months!

CV, I hope the EP800 doesn't dislodge her IUD. For some reason I can't find any research on the subject, but you can never be too careful...

I wonder if Ian has a graph for that.

But yeah, I have the misfortune of liking someone who's going to school to be a doctor.

I had a classmate do a Boolean search on Medline for articles matching "nutritional content" AND "semen".

No results.

Maybe the stimulus bill will finally have the funding for this research.

Ow... I was eating. I just atomized peanut butter all over the screen.

Bren R.

Hey, we're even for that cat IRC post of yours.

This is fun!

I guess if you're going to blow chunks, this is the less upsetting way? Or not?

I knew a guy named "Chunks" in high school.

I think THAT might be the most upsetting way.

Not for Chunks!

So, I should hook up that classmate of mine with Chunks, for research purposes. Got it. I like it when a plan comes together.

This girl likes calling me "Chuckles." I think she may have a clown fetish.

The way to find out is to ask her out and when you go to pick her up, let the other 29 guys get out of the car first.

Ways I have ruined relationships......

5. Not realizing the girl thought it actually was a relationship after just one date.
-Obviously too clingy anyways.

4. Not believing someone when they said, "If you would risk your life skydiving, then I can't risk mine by seeing you."
-Obviously a control freak anyways.

3. Not fighting back enough when my buddies rushed into my apartment, politely pre-apologized to my girlfriend then grabbed me by all four limbs, gagged me, and took me on a roadtrip.
-Obviously no sense of humor anyways.

2. Explained why my friends nicknamed her "Oscar" because she was too grouchy all the time.
-Do I have to explain this one?

1. Laughing with my out loud voice when she asked me when she would be getting the ring.
-Obviously she had 'pet rabbit boiler' written all over her.



Best Way I 'almost' blew a relationship:

1. After receiving an obscene, heavy breather call in the middle of the night, I rolled over, passed the phone to my wife and told her "It's for you."
-Yup, it was only an 'almost' and that's why she's a keeper.

Nice almost.

1. Being myself.

Bren R.

Note to self: Do not be Bren.

That's sound advice for ANYONE.

Bren R.

So noted.

(scribbles in Bren's chart and CV's chart)

Hmm ... note to self: CV's chart is getting thick. Better get the chart expanders on my next run to the office supply store ...

Why does my chart just have one page with megalomania written across it and some hearts doodled in the margins?

Bren R.

Man, now I'm hungry for Chinese. Mmmm.... Megalomeinia.

Mega-lo-mein-ia, that's pretty good. Reminds me of a band at my college that called themselves "Youth in Asia", heh heh.

A never owned that game. But I remember the commercials for it.

Bren R.

I think I had that one. It was cool to shoot all the various targets, IIRC.

I just woke up from dreaming about several Axiom board members meeting at a restaurant, and bbigwyrs showed up. At least, someone acting as bbigwyrs showed up. He was a very gifted actor, along with the two guys who recognized him. One of the guys took off for another part of the restaurant as soon as he arrived, and bbigwyrs said to everyone in the restaurant, "I have nothing but reverence for him." The other gentleman who recognized him had a sour expression upon seeing him, but he didn't move from his spot, and bbigwyrs sat down to talk to him. They began conversing, and as I watched them, I could see them both fighting smiles as other board members observed. I was wondering who would go to the trouble of having actors come to pretend to be bbigwyrs and two other guys with similar accents. It was cracking me up.

I think CV sleep-posts as bbigwyrs!! The jig is up!!!

What if we all discovered that JohnK was responsible for bbigwyrs? Would that shock us?

Speaking for myself?

Yes.

Yes it would.

Speaking for MYself?

No.

No it wouldn't.


(Mark, I am "Duck season" to your "Rabbit season")

::Runs away crying with a gun loaded for Duck::

Rabbit season? Duck season?....it's neither.

What're you following me around today?

He wuvs oo.

Be vewy, vewy quiet....I'm hunt'n Mawks, uuhhuhuhuh!

Suferin sukitashhhhh

I dreamed I got to hang out with Regina. Unfortunately, other fans started bothering us, as I couldn't escort us away quickly enough. Siiiiiiiiick.

You need to learn to Lucid Dream.
Then you could have just gone all Matrix on them.

That would be cool.

I dreamed I was in a footrace. Towards the end, I was approaching the guy in 1st place, who had been way ahead. It was a guy I knew from high school. We started talking even as we struggled to finish first. I pulled ahead, and he didn't seem concerned, still taking part in the conversation from behind. Then I realized why, as I had made a wrong turn. I had to double back. Thankfully, he was still taking his sweet time. I managed to catch up, but then it was a narrow path up a slight incline, and I ended up to the side of the path. He was so sure he was going to win, but the finish line was at a height I could reach up to, and I jumped and slapped the far side of it with my hand. Two women there argued briefly about who had won, and then I was declared the winner.

No celebration, however, as immediately after that I was dreaming I was watching some sort of muppet show.

Oh, last night I dreamed that FedEx had changed their name to "The Fex."

I dreamed that I painted a fire hydrant pink for a girl I know.

Ummmmmmmm, so you painted a large, cylindrical, sometimes gushing object, pink?

Nope nothing to interpret there.

These aren't the droids we're looking for....

CV, I encourage you to move closer to me so that I can set up regular sessions with you. I have a boat that ain't payin' for itself.

Well, the interpretation might be a little more disturbing if there were firemen hooking their hoses up to it.

Give me an estimate.

All right, I had two different dreams last night, and I was in video games in both of them. The first one was an action platformer, but I don't remember much about it. In the second one, I was controlling a plane behind a flying fortress-type thing. I think I actually started out in a first-person shooter on the fortress thing, but then it changed. In the second part, I was spending the longest time shooting its right jet engine. Each one of my shots was a single red pixel. Finally, someone else started helping by shooting its right wing. They eventually both fell off, and the fortress started spinning and diving. I was happy, and I woke up.

That was me shooting the right wing!!

Dream wingman, that's me.

Now I'm hungry for wings.

mmmmmm, Sweet Chile coated Wings!!!!!!!

I dreamed the basement was done, and the home theater portion was much bigger. Now that I've woken up I'm very, very sad.

Hug your dual 800s. You'll feel better.






bastard!

I dreamed I was chatting with the girl I like. I decided to be direct and ask if she'd go on a date with me. "Yep," she said. It was very thrilling.

I don't often remember dreams, but last night I was watching a Red Sox game from a luxury box over home plate, and Jonathan Papelbon came running in from the bullpen, as is his style. Only this time, he slipped in some wet/muddy grass and totally wiped out. His uniform got caked with mud.

As he took his warmup pitches, I wondered if the uniform would limit his movement and affect the quality of his pitches. Then I woke up.

Welcome to the dream world!

Now that's kind of weird.

Wednesday night/Thursday morning I had a dream that I too, was watching a baseball game. I don't know which team it was. The fielding team was wearing grey - that's all remember (I don't follow baseball enough to know uniforms - sorry) But my 'seats' were in the outfield. I was with someone else - I have no idea whom - that kept saying how awesome our 'seats' were. I didn't understand it because we were just standing against the outfield wall, watching the game. We couldn't see a whole lot because we were on the field, rather than in the stands. I remember that the ground on which we were standing was very muddy, which ticked me off because I was wearing white shoes. That's about it. But the real 'feelings' that I remember are baseball and the mud.

Strange that your dream revolved around the same thing.

I had a female coworker recently tell me that she had a dream about me. That's always a weird conversation starter.

Something about the two of us were driving (in my wife's car, no less) to my house where my wife was cooking dinner for us. My coworker says that when we got to my house, I told her she could pick any fish she wanted. I had like this giant wall of fish in my kitchen. She picked something (sounded like a swordfish) and I grilled the whole thing for her. She says that the strongest feeling from it was that the fish was very important. We have no idea what that means.

Too strange.

I think I've had more dreams about my coworker than anyone else. Of course, I probably spend more time around her than anyone else.... No probably about it. I do.

That's a cool fish dream.

White shoes before Memorial Day?

Wow.

That IS weird!

Shyeah!



Are you her boss, or in some other way an important guy at work? Because the swordfish = you = important. The sword is your phallus, and she's eating it. With your blessing, even, because you told her she could eat any fish she wanted. In your own house, transported by your wife's car, while your wife was slaving away in the kitchen, no less!

Watch out for that lady at work - sounds like her subconscious fantasy is to get one over on your wife.

No, I'm not her boss. I'd like to think I'm reasonably important at work. Her job (hell, just about everybody's job) is dependent on the systems that I create and maintain, so perhaps that's the person-of-importance link.

As to the rest. Uh.. sheesh...

I'm jus' sayin' ...

*wink wink, nudge nudge*

Hey, interpret more of my dreams.

Last night I dreamed that I got an email announcement from tomtuttle that he and his family were going to follow ZZ Top on tour, caravaning from city to city to see each show.

I'm pretty sure I dreamt this because I can't find anyone to go with me to the Aerosmith/ZZ Top concert next month. Also, my family had a fun vacation with Tom and his family a couple of years ago, so he's known to be a fun guy that might pull off a stunt like this.

I dreamed I was friends with Michael Cera, and I was making fun of him because his legs were mistaken for those of Eva Mendes at one point. It was an odd time to be making fun of him, though, because we were hanging from a great height and swinging toward a bear who was also hanging from a great height.

Any chance you could compile all these drams into a graphic novel, Charles? I think it would be awesome!

They don't really follow a single plot line but maybe you could find some imagine way to tie them all together like each each "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" answer came from a past life experience in "Slumdog Millionaire."

Your marketing gig could be that every book comes packaged with a free mini-bong. Don't laugh!!! I think this could actually work.

Ha ha, I'm sure there probably is a creative way to tie them all together. Maybe the answer will come to me in a dream.

I had gone back to sleep and dreamed again. This time I had somehow been selected to go into space. Apparently artificial gravity had been invented, and we had a pretty big community up there. I met a girl, we started making out, then going further, but then people started coming into the room and reading something (the comics?--I can't remember), and we had to cut it short. My coworker/friend was suddenly there, apologizing for it not happening for me. Then the dream took a turn and I was stumbling into a human slave trade operation, and I found an invoice for a worker in a neglected bathroom in an alley. I had accidentally peed on my foot to notice the invoice on the floor. I rushed to some sort of legal proceeding looking for some lawyer friend to show them the evidence of this operation they had been trying to shut down.

Then I woke up.

Oh, yeah, last night I finally had the no-clothes-in-class dream. I dreamed that I stripped down to my underwear, and I had man-boobs. They jiggled, and it upset me. It was a creative writing class.

Well, at least you gave your fellow students lots of fodder about which to show their creativity.

Were you able to store pages of your stories under your jiggly boobs?

I know a female doctor who uses her breasts as a shelf upon which she writes prescriptions. True story.

Pictures, please.

There is an inkblot test in the making that many of us would enjoy.

I dreamed there was some disturbed individual I talked to online a couple of times before who believed he directed souls on to wherever they go after death. He didn't know where he was sending them, only that he was setting them on paths that he could see. He found my home address and phone number while we chatted. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but then I heard from him again much later, and he talked about how he would be visiting me soon. I was getting very freaked out. I was trying to tell my parents about it, but they were entertaining guests, including a dog they were throwing a ball for. My dad thought I should go to the cops, but that they would need me to talk to the guy again and have him say for sure that he was intending to kill me. I did talk to the guy again, but it was in person, as he showed up. I was in my bed, and he was standing over me wearing a big deer head. I asked him if he was really going to kill me. He said yes. Then he began to shoot at me with his arm that I thought was a shotgun, but which turned out to be a flamethrower. I leapt around to avoid the flames, but it wasn't long before he had me cornered. Thankfully, I woke up.

Disturbing! You dreamt about JP????

He really needs some other getup than the deer head.

He was also in brown hunter's clothing (I don't know how to go into further detail since I'm not a hunter).

There was also a whole other part of the dream that I can't remember, but I was in a store with someone, and I think there was something to do with a musician or something? I remember it was creepy, too, but I can't recall specifics.

Was it Chuck Mangione?

That WOULD HAVE been creepy. Though Kenny G. would have been even creepier I think! :: shudder ::

I concur. We'll save Chuck for the sequel.

Ready, Charles? We're working on sequels now.

With the dreams Charles has, I wouldn't be surprised in the least.

We should have Regina and Marina fight in a tub of pudding, but then leave with Chuck Mangione and Kenny G. OR... make it Chuck D just to leave Charles wondering and guessing....

Man, I hope he reads this thread right before he goes to sleep tonight.

*keeps fingers crossed*

I bet I dream about you two fighting in tub of pudding. Thanks a lot.

I hope it's chocolate. Tapioca is yucky.

Mmmmmm...chocolate....



Fffffft....phhhhoooooeeeeyy...... It tastes all "Sean-y"....

I guess I got a little carried away squishing it between my toes. . .

Oh... that was TOES! Believe it or not, I feel better!

I dreamed that my best friend/coworker was avoiding me because she decided she wanted to like herself, and knowing me was making that too hard. I told her I understood her point, and she had every right to think that way. She took this to mean I didn't want to be friends anymore, which was wrong, so I had to correct her, saying that no, I really loved her friendship, and she softened and threw her arms around me, saying that that's what she needed to hear.

Then I dreamed Norm Macdonald was around, and I was torturing him with my "wheel of fury" which I made by spinning my arms around. I thought I was so funny.

Part of a recent dream...

I was walking out of a supermarket, and a vehicle approached me in the parking lot. The driver told me to get in, but I refused. He then told me that a "Mr. Smirnoff" wanted to see me, so that I got into the vehicle and the driver took me to an upscale restaurant. There, I was introduced to Mr. Smirnoff, who happened to be a member of the mafia and owner of the Smirnoff Ice alcoholic beverage company. Apparently, Mr. Smirnoff wanted me to endorse one of his company's alcoholic beverages. Not wanting to endorse a company that has ties to the mafia, I refused. Mr. Smirnoff asked me to reconsider, and said he would have his daughter and nephew endorse the beverage if I didn't do it.

...And that was the end of it. I have weird dreams, much weirder than this one. Usually, they are more like several micro-dreams, where I'll have short, random dreams that are somehow connected to each other.

Was having his daughter and nephew do it supposed to be some kind of threat? Are you scared of younger people taking your place?

I haven’t remembered a regular sleeping dream in so long I can’t remember when it was but on at least two occasions other people remembered them. Once on a deployment to Turkey I woke up and my roommate was staring at me with this freaked out look. I asked him what was wrong and he said that I had totally scared the crap out of him because I started yelling out orders to people like I was in the middle of a battle. Freaked out my X doing the same thing but she got use to it.

Before I stopped remembering dreams I use to be able to make myself have lucid dreams. It was so cool to be able to control what was happening. The coolest was to start running taking longer and longer steps until I was finally flying.

I can approximate lucid dreams by meditating but it’s not really the same.

A big piece of apple pie before bed always serves up warm, cinnamon-flavored dreams with me.

Now I'm dreaming about a big piece of apple pie...

Not in the "American Pie" scene context I hope....

This morning I dreamed I was drinking water and there was something in it. I poured it out, and it was a tiny brown spider. It ended up on my forearm. I tried to flick it off, and it bit me. I continued trying to get it off with very deliberate scratching, but it just stayed on my arm. I couldn't even feel the spider when I was trying to scratch it off. I thought there was something wrong with my vision.

SpideyVision ?

I just woke up from an intense dream about a roller coaster. The main thing was that there was nothing to sit on, but you just held on to these bars that were pulled through the course, and it lasted several minutes with way too many corkscrews and sharp turns that just aren't possible at that speed. I got onto the ride after finding it downstairs from a second-hand bookstore where I found a ridiculously large-format printing of A Crown of Swords (probably 3'x4' or so) for $2. There were two copies, but there was a note saying that one was already sold. I was going to purchase the remaining one.

It was I who bought the first copy. I initially intended to buy both, but I saw you coming and decided to leave you one.

Well, I guess I need to start exercising again. I stopped when I had the flu, and I haven't gotten back into it yet. Last night I dreamed that my pants were too tight.

That happens when you tent them.

The guy who works the grill at the cafeteria where I work asked about my former coworker, the one whose friend I had that long thread about. He commented that I must miss working with her. I do, but she also got a bit flaky when it came to doing things outside of work, so I haven't done anything with her for a long time. Anyway, last night I dreamed about her, and in the dream we made up and even cried a bit. Then, for some reason, we got a ride on the hood of someone's car. I was concerned that when the car slowed down we would fly off the hood, but it turned out we were able to hold on, no problems. What part of that dream should I try in real life?

You missed the part about soapy water, sponges, and white tank tops...

I dreamed that I was online chatting with someone who I used to talk to a lot online, but who I haven't talked to in forever. I was typing to her, then suddenly she was replying in appropriately crappy video. She was in Paris, attending a French Renaissance fair, which I thought was weird. Then, suddenly, I was there. I ended up in a car with several of her friends. We were just sitting in the parked car, waiting on her. I felt out of place and in the way, but no one seemed to mind. I asked what the deal was, and they explained that "Lex" was getting married, and that she'd be getting married before the big ceremony so the couple could, you know, have special relations right away. They kept calling her Lex, even though I knew her as Danielle. Then I woke up.

Soooooo, you had a virtual experience about a virtual conversation with a girl with a guy's name who was getting married before she was getting married?

I sense so much potential for humor here yet my subconscious seems to be holding me back.

Ha ha, nice summary.

I dreamed that I was visiting my sister, her husband, and their son. Regina Spektor was also hanging out at their apartment after a show she'd done. It was Regina, but I was talking to her like it was Marina, telling her that I was the fan who went by CV on her blog. She didn't recognize me based on that. I remember seeing my brother-in-law eating tons of fruit cocktail with marshmallows out of a huge glass bowl, and my nephew was eating cereal out of a cardboard box (not the cereal box, but a more squarish and nondescript box). Oh, yeah, I also had a mix playing in the background that I was hoping would impress Regina. I don't think it did.

Well, if you kept confusing her with Marina, I can't blame her for not being impressed.

My dreams could use some renovation, for sure.

I just dreamed that I was going to a movie with friends. (I seem to dream about theaters a lot.) We ended up at the wrong theater, though. They were playing the movie we wanted to see, but I had discount tickets for the other theater. Anyway, we left to go to the correct theater, and there had been a remodel. The theater itself was now in the middle of a huge zoo-like complex, only the animals roamed free. There were also several open stages spread around where musicians were getting ready to perform. It took a while to find the building where they actually played movies. We didn't want to ask for help at the front desk area because a guy would aggressively try to sell us popcorn when we got near. I can't remember what he was saying, but it was really annoying. He kept repeating the same phrase to try to convince us. Anyway, we found the building, my other friends went in to watch (which ended up being a new 3D version of Jurassic Park), but I didn't make it in because a huge, ostrich-like bird (but with softer feathers, an owl's face, and a woman's legs) kept me out. It had the reputation of being the cleverest bird in the world. I tried to outsmart it by... distracting it with some kind of food offering, I think (memory's hazy on this one), but it saw through my ruse and ended up charging me, wrapping its woman's legs around me, and shutting me down right at the door. I guess my friends were never worried enough about me to come out and check on where I was.

Oh, I remembered more of the dream. Before we went to the theater, we were at the mall, and I ran into Claire. She was flirting with me, pretending like we were together. The flirting didn't work, though, as I said that no, we were not together. Her playfulness evaporated, and suddenly her boyfriend was there, only his beer gut was gone, and he had his chest puffed out because he'd been working out. Anyway, that's when we headed to the movie.

I'll be dreaming of my girlfriend! Sounds cheesy, I know, but true. I haven't had a girlfriend since high school (prior to my accident), and have become extremely cynical and pessimistic regarding girls and my disability. But, I've met a beautiful girl with a beautiful seven year old daughter (whom I still have to meet). I honestly never thought I would meet someone that would accept me regardless of my disability.

Anyway, I will keep you guys posted, but it's been three wonderful weeks for the both of us, and a breath of fresh air for myself.

I'm sure I can get you guys a picture .

Congrats Cam! I hope it works out.

Hey Cam, we've accepted you here ... do you dream of us?

Congrats!

Great news Cam!

Good on ya Cam!

Your dream sounds superior to my dream.

Although your dreams will make much more money when finally published.

Thanks guys. She's constantly telling me that we can do anything we want, and although I know that I can do anything possible, it's nice to hear it from someone else. She's an absolute sweetheart. Did I already say that? Sorry if I did, I'm a little smitten right now .

Oh yeah, I just remembered that I have some bachelor party photos that I'm sure you guys will enjoy. I'll try to get them up over the weekend.

Awesome news, Cam!

You go Cam!......"GO CAMMY....GO CAMMY...."

Great news, Cam!

I don't remember enough about last night's dream to write about it with any detail, but one thing stuck. I was at a gathering at my friend's father's house, and at one point everyone kind of stopped what they were doing to hear a speech. For some reason, my friend and his wife nominated me to speak, saying I was the host. I didn't understand how I could be the host since I didn't organize the party or even live at the place it was being thrown at, but I went along with it insofar as I got on the ground and said, "It's a who-killed-the-host murder mystery!" No one was going for it, though, so I got up and started giving a real speech with generic statements about how being among family and friends is what it's all about.

I hope you waved your arms around some.


That always helps a good speech.

I didn't. What a wasted opportunity.

I wonder what percentage of the posts in this thread are from Charles, but I'm too lazy to figure it out.

Rough guess 90?

You may say he's a dreamer, but he's not the only one.

Who is John Lennon.

While 1/2 asleep in a hotel last weekend, I watched part of a show on Hitler and they described how his chief mentor for all things psychic (Erik Jan Hanussen) actually trained Hitler on combining speech tones and arm gestures that he (the physicist) commonly used to 'entrance' his audience. His techniques seemed to work pretty well for Hitler, unfortunately for the rest of the world.

My point... Charles needs to find a psychic mentor who can train him to flail his arms wildly so that he gets noticed at the next Regina Spektor concert.

CV, you should watch the episode of The Office (U.S.) where Jim coaches Dwight on speech-making. Great episode and very on point as far as an arms waving, fist pounding speech.

Last night I dreamed I went to California with my parents, and I met up with my online friend while I was there. We met at a grocery store for some reason. She was showing off her new boyfriend while we were out in the parking lot, but he was kind of dim. Then I was inside the grocery store looking at the ice cream section. They had 5 gallon buckets of Tillamook ice cream, and there were a ton of flavors I'd never seen before. The only one I remember is Tiki Tiwi Berry Blend, since that's the one I was trying to get. Unfortunately, it was inconveniently placed, and I couldn't get into the freezer in such a way that I could pull one out. I eventually gave up.

Two nights ago I dreamed that the worst kid I ever had in class (outside of the CYA) came back to my class - a little taller and a little older. He's been gone for at least 6 years. LOL

Worst nightmare ever.

Last night I had a few dreams, but the only one I remember any solid details about was one where I was living in an apartment. I was sweeping and vacuuming around my entrance, and my neighbor, who turned out to be the guy who plays Sal "Big Pussy" Bonpensiero on The Sopranos (note: I've never seen The Sopranos, so I don't know why I was dreaming about him), opened his door and ended up pressuring me to vacuum up the dirt around his entrance, too. His door remained open, and pretty soon I spotted his hot Italian daughter who was doing busy work around the place. We started some pleasant small talk, so I guess I wasn't vacuuming the whole time. I somehow got suckered into bringing the vacuum further into their apartment, but before I actually became their full-fledged maid, the daughter seemed keen to talk some more.

Unfortunately, she began to bring up her ex, who she seemed to split with amicably, and where there still might be potential to explore. Distracted by her disappointing story, I became entangled in the vacuum's hose and pulled it over, which turned it on, drowning her out. I quickly picked the vacuum up, turned it off, then tried to be cool by saying, "I guess I didn't want to hear about that other guy." She laughed, and so did her father. "This guy's funny," she said.

That's about all I remember about the dream, which ends on a pretty high note for my dreams.

I had the strangest dream last night. It involved my cat. (go figure). My cat was running down and not feeling so good, so I took her to the vet, who said that she needs a tune up. He said it's easy to do this yourself, and gave me a place to contact to get the parts and instructions. I ordered these. The cost was around $500. It included a new liver (frozen), and some other odd and end parts with some plastic tubes. There was instructions on how to get to the brain by popping the face open. It was hinged there to make it easy to close again.

After reading the instructions, I decided that this wasn't a chore that I felt up to, so I went back to the vet to get him to do the job. But his winsome personality always got the better of me and I would go back home thinking that I could easily perform the job. Then when reality sunk in, I would go back to the vet. This back and forth happened about 3 times, with me feeling the new parts may be getting bad since I keep thawing them out and re-freezing them.

Weird, no?

Frankenkat.

Just woke up from a weird one.

This woman was trying to schmooze this man for some kind of business transaction, so she was taking him out to a high-end joint. Besides needing to get him feeling good about the deal they were making, apparently he was terminal with something, too, so she really had her work cut out for her. They were sitting at the bar, and the super-cute French girl who was serving them had rattled off several drinks, none of which impressed her. The woman excused herself for a minute to take a phone call, but only moved a couple of paces away, so the French girl was still within earshot. It was one of her colleagues on the phone, and she decided to vent a little.

"This place blows," she said to her colleague. "You know, I really just want a strawberry daiquiri."

The French girl immediately started mixing up a strawberry daiquiri. The woman noticed and said, "Oh, no, you don't have to do that. I can get a strawberry daiquiri anywhere, and it'll be much cheaper."

"It won't be like this," the French girl assured her in her cute French accent.

First off, the glass she was served was huuuuge, probably 60 ounces. The woman took a drink. "Are you kidding me?!" she exclaimed. "This has a robitussin vermouth!"

Ha ha ha ha. I think she was trying to say it had a robust something or other. Anyway, I woke up right after she said that. If you know me, you know the only alcohol I've ever had was a few sips of champagne. I wouldn't be able to describe any alcoholic beverage to save my life, so I guess it's appropriate the character in my dream would be ill-equipped as well.

Anyway, I really like that phrase "robitussin vermouth," so I may have to use it as a character name or something in my NaNoWriMo novel.

I was just commenting to a coworker earlier this week that I haven't been remembering my dreams lately, so I'm glad my brain served up this gem.

Sounds like an alcholic caugh syrup.

I was going to say it sounds like a cold medicine,lol.

Someone mix Robitussin and vermouth together and report back on how it is.

I'll check it out when I get a sore throat and stuffy nose. Should be right up there with a Hot Toddy!

Sir Charles, you are one brave man.

Let's see if I can "help."

We got vacuuming, grocery shopping for ice cream, young foreign women, women who already are with a man, or have recently left one, and women consuming alcohol.
(BTW, Robitussin Vermouth is baaaad vermouth).

I'm guessing you think women suck the life out of men, are frigid, non-communicative, teasers, heartbreakers and lushes. Am I close?

Seriously, you just need to find a way to tie together all these "scenes" from your dreams and there's your novel, right there. Time, place, set-up, dialogue--it's already there. You just have to get on board with Wm. Burroughs.

You're lucky. All of my dreams end with my demise.

Bob, sounds like we have the same types of dreams!

I always dream of your demise too.

Hmmmm, there appears to be common themes in my dreams when it comes to how women are featured, huh? There could be just a little frustration there. In the presence of Mary and Amie, though, I'm going to say that I'm still optimistic about finding a woman who isn't at all the girl of my dreams.

And hey, stop interpreting my dreams! Ha ha.

That's funny right there......

Get in line.

I posted this on Facebook already, but here's last night's dream since this thread is basically my dream journal and it's nice to have it collected in one place

That might make an interesting concept for an Amazing Stories episode. A lizard creature who prefers his meat cooked.

Wow! if i was you, i would go see a shrink very fast!
thinking about it, you better not know the meaning...
:-P

Well, last night I was dreaming about crapping my pants, so imagine my relief when I woke up to a turd-free bed. And by relief, I don't mean I urinated instead.

That's awesome, Charles! I know the word awesome is frequently overused, but I think in this case it's entirely appropriate.

Thanks so much for sharing....don't forget your Facebook fans!

I don't say this often around here, but...
T
M
I.

You mean you? Why post there when you can Like it from here?

Ken, just reminding you, but you're a parent. There's no way you should be that sensitive.

I'm just chuckling over this whole exchange.

What happened after you went to sleep?

P.S. I don't have those kinds of dreams anymore. They've become back stories to my flying-naked dreams.

Last night I dreamed I was in an airport waiting for my next flight, only it wasn't a normal airport, since it had a full-size Barnes & Noble-type bookstore in it. I was lounging around on a sofa with friends, but then my friends wandered off, and I couldn't find them. I finally thought to use my phone, but my phone had defaulted to some state that I couldn't figure out. There was some kind of overscan happening, so I couldn't see everything I was supposed to. I couldn't seem to get into my contacts, so I couldn't call or message anyone. I kept talking to strangers about it, and some tried helping, but I wasn't having any luck.

Then my arms were on fire. Not real fire, just the sensation, and I told the nearest passerby to please help me, that something was happening to me. I woke to find one arm completely numb from sleeping on it.

I'm generally stressing too much lately. Work's not going great, but most of that is my fault. Sleep hasn't come easy, and then it's hard to get back to sleep after waking up prematurely. If this persists, hopefully it at least leads to some more interesting dreams.

Hang in there, Charles. Relaxation techniques really can help. Don't laugh, but back in Jr. College I took some acting classes (i needed easy credits) and the single most useful thing I took away from that is a breathing exercise where you force all thoughts out of your head. We practiced it at the beginning of each class to clear jitters and all that stuff.

Still use it at times when I'm having trouble unplugging the noggin at night.

Thanks, Sean. Sounds like a handy exercise to have in the repertoire. I definitely need to do something. I'm actually home early from work today due to a major headache that developed, most likely from the stress. I don't get these headaches often any more, but they shut me down pretty good when I do get them. Fingers crossed that they stay infrequent.

Well, Crap. I've been breathing and not thinking my whole life. And no smartypants schooling needed was I not had.....


Ummmm.


What was I sayin'?

CV was dreaming that he had friends. Sorry buddy, but you are stuck with us.

Then he woke up with a lampshade and realized he had a problem.

I dreamed I was at a theater again. I was with my sister and some other friends, and we were going to see an animated movie about a young Davy Jones, maybe like a Muppet Babies sort of thing. It was called Little Davy.

My sister and friends were ahead of me in the concession line, so they got their food and went ahead to the theater. For some reason a person ahead of me in line stacked their food item on mine while they were doing something, so I was waiting for him to remove it before proceeding. It got spilled, so I lost a little more time as people cleaned it up around me.

I was finally on my way to a screen, but I chose the wrong one. I hadn't really been paying attention to screen number, simply walked into the nearest one. In the dark, someone said, "CV? You made it." I finally made out that it was Nicole and Chris, who I don't know too well but who are always posting about going to restaurants and movies on Facebook. But someone kept talking, and it turned out to be my coworker/best friend. She was supposedly there with her granddaughter, but I only saw her. The movie turned out to be a Mr. Belvedere movie. I pretended I was still finding my party so I wouldn't look stupid to the people who recognized me, tried to quietly make my way out.

My ticket said the movie was playing on screen 144. I kept going through the halls searching for it, but none of them were right. Eventually I remembered there was a middle hallway for elite members, so I went down that one. It was a little odd since the entrances to those screens were open, no doors attempting soundproofing. I kept looking in and hearing the films from the hall. Several of them had very graphic adult scenes going on, and it struck me that that would be pretty weird to have visible through doorless openings to people en route to a children's movie. I never did find Little Davy and rejoin my party, and I woke up.

And now there's a weird sound coming from the kitchen that I can't quite locate the source of. At least, it sounds like it's coming from the kitchen.

Hey Cv, you could have ended up with someone last night and now they're cooking breakfast?

On the plus side Charles, you are actually still sleeping and sleeping deep enough to get into deep dream states. When I get stressed about work I have a hard time getting enough sleep.

The most common theme I experience in my dreams are variations on the "exam nightmare". Unable to solve a problem, sleep in and miss the exam, unable to find the exam room on campus, forget my calculator etc.

Car accidents is another one.

The most freaky one was a variation on the "losing your teeth" dream. I had this dream during a stressful period when I was completing my undergraduate. My jaw closed shut and whenever I would try to resist the pressure would get greater and greater. It got to a point where my teeth shattered like pieces of ice in my mouth. The sound of the teeth grinding, rolling around inside your mouth and spitting them out felt so real.

I rarely remember a dream, but last night I had one that I can remember bits and pieces of.

I was living somewhere near the country. Someone, given name only and approx. location sent me a time machine. Not a real time machine, but some sort of boxy contraption that did something, but I don't think the dream ever spelled it out. My goal was to pay him for it, that is, if I could just find him. So I made 2 attempts to locate him. He lived out in the country, not far from me and I went there both times in search of him on foot and in the nude. I'd get to the first house to ask about him, and then I'd realize I was naked and go back home. The 2nd time I ran into a couple of women, realized I was naked, then went back home. About this time, my alarm clock went off.

Exactly HOW were you planning on paying this guy back?

LOL. Not what you had in mind.

I was wanting to know how much cash he wanted for the machine.

What doesn't make sense is why I was even willing to pay him for it. I didn't even know what it did. Sort of like a large washing machine shaped object, made out of wood, like a barrel and some gold colored raised letters on the side that said Time Machine.

Sounds to me like you were being scammed in a sex deal gone wrong?

I've told him not to buy time machines from craigslist.

Last night I dreamed that my mom was telling me that Breyers ice cream was on sale for $1.79. I woke up to my dream being crushed.

That's a pretty tame one for you, Charles. Wasn't there a French upstairs maid involved---- or a train tunnel?

I think my dream just seems less detailed and layered now that Sean's ribbon tweeter has landed on the board.

Many ha-ha's for that one, CV!

I know what you mean, though. It's all we're gonna hear about for weeks--- "...my Salks this and my Salks that." It's gonna be unbearable, unless he learns to despise that ribbon tweeter.

I was sitting on the couch the other day and my Salks, without even asking, went and got me a beer and poured it into a glass with the perfect amount of frothy foam on top. . . .

It's good to be me. Me with my Salks.


(is it getting old yet?)

Breyers wasn't on sale for $1.79, but I still bought four cartons of it for $3.49 apiece. They could have been $2.99 apiece if I'd bought ten of them, but that seems like a lot to carry home when I'm walking. I'd be morbidly big-boned if I didn't walk so much.

Breyers is awesome. Always my choice!

Charles, I like how you see that transportation is the only reason NOT to have ten 1/2 gallons of ice cream in your freezer.

Ditto that!

OK. My previously mentioned Charles like dream is still stuck in my head so maybe I do need to share it so that it will GO AWAY. Believe it or not, this is the quick version because there was so much uncanny detail. I could never do it justice without writing a whole shorty story instead of a post. As it is, it will be a long post for a web board.

I'm eating dinner at a table full of friends and family in a mini home. It feels very familiar although the owner and host is an older lady whom I do not recognize. Because there are so many of us, my chair is backed up against a bookshelf on which sits a large doll in a dress. It's almost at eye level with me and I can't help but keep turning my head to look at it. Of course, it has those glassy doll eyes that seem to stare at you no matter where you move your head. A few times during dinner, I jokingly exclaim that "OK, this doll is freaking me out.

Suddenly I feel very tense and I look at the doll. I could swear that it's head position has moved so that it now stares directly at me. I pass it off as my imagination but I can't help but look at it again. This time, I'm saying to myself, 'if this were a movie, it would probably start talking to me.' as if on cue, it then whispers something almost unintelligable. It sounds like "I'll help you."

Again, I try to pass it off. After all, I was just thinking about a scary movie scene, so of course I might imagine something....

I go back to eating my dinner, trying not to look at the doll as I'm now paranoid that people have probibly noticed how I keep looking nerveously up at it. Then, I feel a tap on my arm. I freeze as I realize that the only possible thing it could be, is that this doll just kicked me. I look around the table and no one was in a position to reach back and grab the dolls leg as a joke. Not even if I wasn't looking. It HAD TO BE the doll.

Without looking back at the doll, I exuse myself and slide out from behind the table to exit quickly to living room. To do this, I have to leave my back exposed to the doll but I'm determined not to let anyone know why I'm leaving. As I feared, I feel another tap, harder this time, right on my spine. I almost stumble ever the person in my way but I finally get to the living room.

Some guys I know but can't recall are already in the room. I end up sitting on the floor with my back leaning against the couch. I hear tiny footsteps. The doll walks around the corner and looks at us with it's hand outstretched and holding a desert of some kind. It walks up to me and says "Take this 'desert'. I stole it from the table."

Her face is still very doll like but somehow her face is also very natural and detailed. I notice this because my mind is racing with thooughts like, "If this were some kind of remote control prank, her face would be mechanical. Her face was smiling and talking with every bit of detail imaginable. Even though it still had doll like qualities, I have to admit to myself, "It's real!"

I refuse the desert but even in the dream I can't remember exactly what I said. I'm worried whatever I might have said will anger her. Instead she smiles sweetly and leaves the room.

Somehow, despite the room being in obvious shock, nobody panics amd nobody had left the room. No one says a word. Dinner conversation continues out in the kitchen as if nobody notices or like nobody cares that a doll is walking amongst us and even talking.

Very shortly, she returns. In her outstretched hands is a twenty dollar bill. She walks over to a friend sitting on a couch on the other side of the room. I can't see her face this time but I can hear her say, "Sarah didn't even see me take this out of her purse. You can have it. She will never know."

My friend is frozen in fear. I get this deep feeling of foreboding that there is more to this little dolls intentions than just sharing the spoils of her kleptomania. I get this feeling of immense dread that she is trying to get us to join her in this sin. It is a test and somehow if we accept her stolen item we will be doomed forever in some dark and terrible way along with her.

My friend looks at me and I try to shake my head without catching the dolls eye. He manages to get out a feint, "No. No thank you." and lifts his legs up onto the couch. It's rather an emasculating gesure but I can hardly blame him as I await to see the dolls reaction.

This time her face turns to a very disconcerting scowl and she storms out of the room like a little girl who had her toy taken away.

While she is gone I try to warn people that i think something very bad will happen if we take anything stolen but she comes back before I can get my point across. Again, everyone goes silent.

This time, she tries her luck with another one of my friends in the room. She approaches where he sits on the lower mantle of the gas fireplace and it is obvious that being down at her level was causing him even more discomfort. I know I felt the same vunerable way when she approached me sitting on the floor and her face was almost eye to eye.

She is holding a Werther's Original candy. "Please let me be nice and give you something. I didn't steal this. I promise!. It came from a bowl. Anyone can have one. I know stealing bothers you and I really want to give you something nice so I didn't steal this."

I could sense that my friend was torn between the fear of accepting her gift and the fear of what will happen if we continue to refuse her offerings. In fact, I think I even see him take a quick nerveous glance over at the cast iron poker sitting in a rack beside him.

Almost as if our minds were connected, I could feel him reasoning out a plan in his head that he thought would be a safe middle ground. Try to beat her at her own game, so to speak.

He reaches out and takes the candy from the doll who is staring at him with a very serious look on her face. He says "OK but you do know that if I beleive that you didn't steal this candy, then I'm not really knowingly taking something stolen.... so I'm OK."

He begins to unwrap the candy and I have to give him credit. His hands are not even shaking. The doll is smiling in a sweet little girl smile as he moves his hand up to place the candy in his mouth. My sense of fear and dread is building to nearly unbearable levels but I don't know what else to do. Somehow it seems too risky to shout "Stop!! Don't do it."

It seems to take forever but finally he places the candy in his mouth. He smiles bravely at the doll as if to say. "See, nothing terrible has happened."

The smile on the dolls face is beaming. She places her hands on her hips and says, "Yes, but did you truly beleive me?"

{Panic... wake... lie perfectly motionless for I'm not sure how long... remember to breath... force myself to roll over...nope, nothing there, just my empty room.}

Wow. That's unbelievable to me. Because I can never refuse dessert.

That's quite a dream, and good detail and writing to boot.

Charles will have to start eating very heavy before he goes to bad if he wants to maintain the "King of the Weird Dreams" title he's held!

Maybe I should dispose of the sock puppet on my book case.

Yeah....puppet.

That's a f*ing scary dream, dude.

You should never wash down cod tongues with screech before bedtime, Andrew.

Oh, yeah, I forgot to comment, but that's one seriously messed up dream you had, Andrew. I just woke up from a nightmare, but it wasn't nearly that bad, though my heart is still racing a bit. I can't remember with the same clarity. I just remember I was watching these guys who were going to kill another guy. They were preparing to ambush him in his home, but he got the jump on them and came out to their vehicle to greet them silently with a knife. He cut horizontally at the base of their bellies and then up at the center, and he said something along the lines of "goodbye." Their fat bellies looked pretty fake, but the expressions on their faces were real enough, even as their clothes stopped holding their guts in and what looked like the contents of some kind of berry pie started dribbling out.

Then, it was like that wasn't real, but maybe just a movie, but I was about to experience something similar, this time with myself as potential victim. It's not too clear anymore. And instead of a middle-aged man who looked like he knew his way around hunting humans, it was late-teens girl who was creeping up on the vehicle. I saw her, though, and slipped out the other side and crept around past her, always keeping her in my vision. I don't know who else was in the vehicle, but I was going to use the time it took her to kill them as my opportunity to get away. When I was hiding behind some tall grass is when I woke up.

I forgot to post about a dream I had the other night. I dreamed I was participating in a Tegan and Sara thread on another message board, and people were talking about speakers. I posted about how I would be purchasing the LFR1100s, though I was a little hesitant since it was a lot of money. Tegan herself showed up and posted as "tingal," rattling off a list of different speaker manufacturers she would be looking at as well. I can't remember any of the names except Sonus Faber. I don't know if any of the others were actually real companies. I don't even know anything about Sonus Faber, but Tegan said that that would be her top choice, personally. I didn't get to ask her why, though, since I woke up. Weird to dream about messages read on a message board, in any case.

The first part sounds equally spooky Charles. I think I'd prefer fear of the unknown verses spilling, berry pie entrails. It made me visualize the murder of the Pillsberry Dough Boy.

The Science of Ungentlemanly Pursuits

Weird dream time. I was dreaming I was attending a holiday church service (not sure which holiday, but it was bright and sunny out) with my friend, feeling out of place, as they were making me feel unwelcome. Even little kids were coming up to me and saying I shouldn't be there... while the service was going on. Then there was some musical they were putting on. I felt like I was supposed to be part of it for some reason, so I ran up to the stage and booked it up a stairway that everyone was dancing up. I didn't really dance, but I paused a couple of times in an effort to make it look like I was following some tiny bit of choreography.

But I still felt uncomfortable, wasn't really sure why I was there. I decided to take off early. I couldn't find my friend, and he drove, so I was headed back to the vehicle to wait for him there. Some of the people had already started the potluck that was scheduled for after the service, though, and I ran into that on the way out. Suddenly there was this plastic-looking bug that popped up, a little bigger than a fist. It was flying around and without warning, curled up and began spinning while spraying SOMETHING around on everyone, me included. There was a LOT of spray. It was drenching me and kept getting me in my eyes. Naturally, we were all freaking out, since we had no idea what it was.

After the bug did it a second time, it uncurled and fell to the ground, the plastic armor falling off to reveal a tiny man.

I was suddenly researching it on the internet, and I stumbled onto a video about a scientist who was doing some off-the-wall research. I forget (or don't understand) how it was supposed to work, but I remember there being maybe 14 helicopters as well as men that were put into this compactor. It had a switch on the outside with "God" as one setting and "Opt Out" as the other. "Opt Out" was selected, but it was supposed to mean that no one was asking for God's intervention, that these things were going to be crushed together in this chamber, and God could do what he wanted without the influence of anyone's wishes.

Well, apparently some kind of intervention took place, because these miniature flying men were the result.

That's when I woke up.

Wouldn't you know, I also had a strange dream last night.

I was driving somewhere in Los Angeles with my dad. We were en route from a hotel to somewhere we needed to be and it was around lunch time. We were passing a Legal Seafood restaurant located in a strip mall and my dad asked me to stop so he could check out the fish special. (Now, if you know LA, you know it's filled with strip malls. If you know Legal Seafood, you know they're not located out west. You also know they wouldn't likely be found in a strip mall.)

So, I park the car and we see that the restaurant is actually on the second floor of the strip mall. My dad (in real life) has post-polio syndrome so he's on crutches and doesn't do stairs. Luckily we find an elevator, so everything's fine. We get out of the elevator on the top floor and a waiter meets us there, asking if we'd like to be seated. My dad asks if it's ok to just see the menu and the waiter says "Of course, please follow me."

He leads us over to a ledge overlooking the courtyard on the first floor. There's a carpet-wrapped balance beam across the ledge. The waiter points across the gap to where there's a table with a pile of menus. I'm thinking, "Gee, thanks," but my dad hands me his crutches, gets down on all fours, and starts to crawl out onto the beam.

Before I have time to process the ridiculousness of the situation, my dad loses his grip and falls down into the courtyard with a thud-- probably a 12-15 foot drop. I say, "Oh, great!" and run down the stairs to check on him. He's motionless, flat on his stomach, eyes open and dazed. His body looks like it's made out of clay and has spread out slightly after the impact.

In real life, practically every time my dad has fallen -- even from a trip -- he has broken his leg, so I'm pretty worried in the dream. I ask him if he's ok, thinking the worst, then he slowly starts to move, and eventually stands up under his own power. (I left the crutches upstairs.)

That's pretty much all I remember. I probably woke up shortly after that.

Ahh, it's already starting to fade, but I'll tell you the end. I was in some kind of race/competition, on a team with my sister. The other contenders for first place were Danny McBride and some male pornstar that someone said they had only seen on "Celebrity Jackass." (Part of the dream involved looking him up on IMDb and scrolling through pics of him looking pumped.) My sister and I were the first to cross the finish line, but for whatever reason, no one thought it counted. The applause went up when Danny and his companion crossed a little while later.

Oh, rewind a little. Both of our teams were sitting around a campfire the night before, and we decided that whoever finished first didn't matter, that it would come down to a performance competition in which we would, through song, dance, and speech, try to most strongly engage the audience's sense of nostalgia for '80s and '90s pop culture.

So after Danny's team crossed after us and were being hailed as the winners, he went up to the stage to accept and failed to mention the agreement we'd made the night before. So I went up and grabbed the microphone and made the audience aware of the face that we'd technically finished first. Some heckler I couldn't see said, "Technically, you didn't," so I replied with, "No, technically, I did... [long duh of a pause] and I know technical, because I watched an ITC [sic] commercial back in the day."

Danny wasn't having it. He wanted their victory to stand, so he was getting riled up and trying to get the audience firmly on his side. But of course I kept taunting him to get him to admit the agreement. I called him a "vegetable's vagina," for some reason, and I forget what else. He finally buckled, and it was on.

I started it off with song by belting out, "I like to siiiiiiing, because it's funner than noooot..." and I sort of trailed off, because I couldn't quite figure out how this was reminiscent of the '80s and '90s.

Danny didn't even get his turn, as I woke up.

There was a whole other dream where I got a new apartment (which was crappy), and it was on the second floor. The walls and floor didn't seem very thick, so I was very concerned about being able to utilize my sound system. I was going to talk to each of my neighbors to help me test what I could get away with, but again, that dream ended without any resolution.