I wonder how "random" those security checks are. I got picked out of the line to go through extra screening...which included hand swabbing. Do I really look like a terrorist? Anyway, it was quite humiliating and intrusive. After that lady thoroughly patted me up and down a few times, I felt we should have shared a cigarette after wards!
Oh...and I discovered a potential
weapon in the bottom of my purse when I got home. Thank goodness, they didn't find it!
I've only been pulled once for extra screening. But it was on a flight with 6 people, so there was a 1-in-6 chance. I was the youngest, and the only one with a shaved head. Of course it's supposed to be random, not profiled.
The drug dogs barked on me once in a Japanese air port, where I was whisked away for a strip search. Talk about embarrassing.
It's "profiled" only if they ask you to turn your head to the side!
I've been profiled all my life. When my hair was super black, I often wore a beard (as opposed to dating one). Had my life threatened several times during the Iran hostage crisis, so I lost it.
The week of 9/11 (still way less gray then), I took a newspaper front page with the pictures of all 19 hijackers on it. I photoshopped myself into position # 13, listed my name as Miluud BadBob, posted it (Newspaper size) on my wall at work (I had almost that same office as Rob Schneider did for his "Rick-ster" Jim-man" skits). Everyone looked at it and not one person noticed.
Living on the border, I'd be driving back with friends and ask if they ever get stopped. "Nah, never." "Well, that's 'cause you weren't with me."
BAM! We get asked to pull aside.
In 1989, after having our stuff delivered to our "new" AZ ranch, we took the month's worth of dogfood cans out of the moving van, threw them in the trunk of our rental car, then headed back to Houston where we had left our 4 beasts with a friend (a really GOOD friend! There was a horror story for each of the 7 days he had 'em), when we got stopped at an INS checkpoint.
We had Mass. ID's, three days worth of clothes in only a backback each. "Please pull over there, sir, and exit the car."
Then we saw the dog coming. Holy Crap! We look guilty (scared, really) as shit, our car is empty, and we got 90 cans of dogfood in the trunk. No doghair in the rental car, no leash, not one sign of a dog. Asked to stand far away from the vehicle,
Rich whispers, "I hope you got your Swiss army knife with you, 'cause we're gonna be on our asses on this 160 degree pavement opening every last one of those f'n cans." Evidently, it wasn't JackieBoys' brand of choice.
I found it interresting that the Canadian customs agents wear bullet proof vests, but no side arms. The US agents were not wearing protective clothing. Of note, however, is that the US agent I went through was just looking at the Axiom website the night before because he is looking for an HT system. The look on his face was one of those expressions people get when they think they're being watched.
Scott
The worse that happened to me was in Genoa, Italy. It was one or two months after the European Passport allowed free passage between all European countries. We were 80 getting out of the place, 77 europeans that went through customs directly just by waving their passport.
The remaining 3 (one canadian and two americains) faced SIX custom agents. They still had the same number of agents employed prior to the european passthrough! They were bored and we were easy preys for them... Our luggages were searched in minute details (over 90 minutes to check 6 valises!).
My return crossing guard, upon my feeble explanation of speakers or something, said, "Oh a geek audiophile convention?!"
Bang-on! (Really, that means something entirely "other" here.)
I was afraid Peter and I would get pulled aside on our drive back into the USA, but we were able to refrain - barely - from discussions of marijuana, explosives, and the women that were tied up in our trunk. At least while we were in front of the border patrol agent.
The worse that happened to me was in Genoa, Italy. It was one or two months after the European Passport allowed free passage between all European countries. We were 80 getting out of the place, 77 europeans that went through customs directly just by waving their passport.
The remaining 3 (one canadian and two americains) faced SIX custom agents. They still had the same number of agents employed prior to the european passthrough! They were bored and we were easy preys for them... Our luggages were searched in minute details (over 90 minutes to check 6 valises!).
In Italy, I so look like I belong there, I get asked directions by Italians constantly. But when border guards (Uzi's and Shepherds) see the initials I stupidly ordered for my bag, then they're suspicions are piqued, 'cause there is no "K" in Italian.
I was afraid Peter and I would get pulled aside on our drive back into the USA, but we were able to refrain - barely - from discussions of marijuana, explosives, and the women that were tied up in our trunk. At least while we were in front of the border patrol agent.
I hope you let those ladies out the trunk once you crossed.
Ya know, after this weekend, that reads entireley differently, now that I can actually visualize you both wearing the innocent faces of 6 year-olds.
And for those that did not attend, here is the cocktail recipe for a BobKay: one shot Denis Leary plus one shot Dennis Franz plus splash of Liza Minnelli. Stir with the cigarette you keep behind your ear.
Mary, maybe it was that shirt with the horizontal stripes?
