Now that the "yummy things for dinner" and "fitness" threads are both active again, it seemed like a good time for a "top ten signs that you are spending too much time in the food thread and not enough time in the fitness thread" list.
10. Your shoes have velcro straps instead of laces but the backs of the shoes are still bent down.
9. Your 5" shoehorn has been replaced with an 18" one.
8. You read Cam's posts and think, "but then I wouldn't be able to eat cheeseburgers inside grilled cheese sandwiches with bacon."
7. You start posting about food in the fitness section.
6. Your utter contempt for the successes in the Fitness Thread makes you post in The Beer Thread.
5. Instead of reading to catch up on the thread, you start eating to catch up on the thread. Mmm, a 5 dinner appetizer plate.
4. Your very first post is about the Food Thread, not speakers.
3. You claim that a "Quadrupal Bypass Baconator Double Cheez Sandwich" builds up your biscept muscles when lifting to your mouth.
2. You stare at all the glorious pictures of meat and try to drool the pounds away.
You go to the store to buy protein powder and end up with bacon ,hamburger and ribs.
1. You call Axiom to ask for bacon veneer M80s.
Bacon veneer... I bet that would sell.
"Axiom proudly announces their 30th anniversary product line - the Grand Slam home theater system, in High Gloss Bacon Veneer"
"Shipped in refrigerated cartons"
Nice work, gentlemen! That's some solid writing, raht thar.
2. You don't know when to stop.
3. You ask your grandma to make you a bacon scarf for Christmas.
I always scarf my bacon.....
4. You decide to buy a healthy juicing machine off the shopping channel, then put two pounds of maple-smoked bacon through it(garnished with an olive and mini umbrella).
Hey, I have a juicing machine! And I didn't get it off the shopping channel
You convince yourself that martinis contain the essential electrolytes your body needs after a workout. Then, you skip the workout.
Speaking of martinis, this is claimed to be the perfect recipe and I aim to try it.
http://coudal.com/perfect.php
Hey, that's my martini recipe, at least the part about pouring in the vermouth, swirling it around and pouring it out before adding... hold on... VODKA ? You can't make a perfect martini with VODKA !!
The blue cheese in the olives is an interesting idea. The sacrificial club soda might be helpful as well, the second martini always seems to have a slightly different taste from the first and maybe this would help with consistency.
Tom, I like the way your mind works.
I got here late, but better late than never.
You are so conscious of calories that you ask for "Diet Bologna" at the deli counter.
You join Weight Watchers and introduce yourself at the first support group meeting, then ask people to chip in for the pizza and wings you just ordered.
You go to an all-you-can-eat buffet and decide to never fill your plate more than half-way, each of the eight times you reload. Hey, at least you walked a few calories off in transit.