Got this in the mail today. Is this a sign I spend too much at Amazon.com?

Did she include a pic?

First thing I thought of too.

Hmmm.... I was looking for hearts above the lower case letters 'i.' Hell, not even a smiley face. I don't think "Brittany" was at all sincere.

Wanna pic of Ms. Brit? Here, I'll "paint" one for you:

She's 42 and single. She lives outside of Murfreesboro, TN----way outside----no trailers allowed within city limits.

She has had 3 children by 4 different fathers, though she can't be sure where any of them (children AND fathers) went after they were taken away by some court or other. Whooops! I stand corrected. She does know where her oldest is, but she can't remember which penitentiary.

Her new teeth look great! They make her feel better about dropping out of Weight Watchers 9 years running. It was either the Dew or the meth, but one of 'em had to go. Her new teeth still leave those options wide open, though. Huh, Brittany?

She has friends much younger than herself confined to Hover Rounds, so there's no alienation there whatsoever.
She IS jealous that her other friends don't need to replace their tires and struts every 3 months, but that's OK.

When she was younger, she was hot enough to be gainfully employed in the Mexican Adult Animal Entertainment industry. But, that was a long time, and many, many tires ago. Besides, she can't even get to those parts to wash 'em anymore. Just hope that the day you meet her, someone snuck a box of baking soda on the seat of her SccooterStore, without her noticing. Pretty easy, these days.

So, the next time you're on a "chat" line, just think of Brittany. She's waiting for you to call...
I'll bet she'd find each one of you to be f-i-n-e!

We'll see if that's enough to cure CV of his Amazon addiction.

You forgot to mention brakes Bob.

Gee, thanks Bob.

Way to ruin the fantasy!

Well, I was going to suggest Handwriting analysis but Bob(?) has outdone himself this time. You aren't related in any way to Jim Carrey are you Bob(?)?

I think she may be left handed.

it certainly slants backwards....

Charles, the only point that I can agree with is that she's almost certainly left-handed, so otherwise give free rein to any fantasies you care to entertain(remember that Amazon and Brittany are in Washington).

Yes, it's also an indication that you spend too much at Amazon. I spend a fair amount there, but Brittany has never written to me.

Maybe Brittany is a tube amp aficionado, and knows it will never work between you two.

How do you think I came to those, er, insights? Cryptology rules!

And God, no! Jim Carrey is Canadian!

Maybe separated at birth?

Yeah, with about 15 years between deliveries. And I'm not ignoring that Canadian thing, still.

Neither is Canada. Try crossing the border now.

Ruin the fantasy? I think Bob just described his true fantasy!