The Scroll from The Hobbit

As long as Orlando Bloom is not in this movie it should be killer.

As long as Johnny Depp is not in this movie it should be killer.

Oh wait, wrong series...

Nah, still stands... As long as Johnny Depp is not in ________ movie, it will at least be tolerable.

Yeah, I know. There are J.D. lovers out there. Just not me. I LOVE the concept of pirate movies even, and can't stand any of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies because of him. I'd say "Jack Sparrow," but no... It is J.D.


Please send all hate mail to
Tim Taylor
c/o Tool Time
P.O. Box 32733
Detroit, MI 48252

Jared Harris should have been Jack. (Capt Mike from Benjamin Button)

The Rankin/Bass Hobbit has always been a favorite of mine.

Never mind the hate mail, where do we send the letter fart bombs to?

Well, there's always James Eugene Carrey.

The Hobbit: My Precious Detective.

Shave him down and he could play Gollum... Then again, Gollum would be running around frantically waving his arms and YELLING "my precious, my preCIOOOOUUUUUS!" (capital letters at a higher pitched voice) instead of slinking about with a whisper...

I am looking forward to the 2 upcoming flicks, but I will say that without ever reading the books (I almosted did in middle school), when Gandalf lists off the dwarf's names, it seems a bit goofy to the uninitiated....
Dori
Nori
Ori
Balin
Dwalin
Fili
Kili
Oin
Gloin
Bifur
Bofur
Bombur
Catfur
Ratfur
Batfur
Bigtoe
Littletoe
Middletoe
Hogpot
Dogpot
Loglot
Sasquatch
Swisswatch
and
Bob

Now that you mention is, Bob would make a good hobbit: The weird cousin.