OK, many of these made me laugh out loud, but they are going to contain a lot of inside jokes for shrinks and those in the medical profession. Still, there's enough here that should be understood by all. I'll be happy to answer any questions that you can't get answered by Google or wikipedia.
From Roy @ Shrink Rap (http://psychiatrist-blog.blogspot.com) and mythreeshrinks.com
How would a psychiatrist manage someone who could only communicate via emoticons? Below are the resulting progress notes...
:-) stable. cont prozac 40mg. follow up in 3 mos.
:-)) reduce prozac to 20mg. f/u 1 mo.
:-)))) d/c prozac. add lithium 300 tid. check TSH, creat. f/u 1wk.
:-D add depakote. check lithium level, LFTs, CBC. f/u 1wk.
:-| stable. cont prozac 40 mg. f/u 1mo.
:-( increase prozac to 60mg. f/u 2wk.
:'-( add wellbutrin SR 150mg. f/u 1wk.
X-( call 911. send to ER. check for OD.
:*} check breathalyzer. refer to AA.
%-} weekly tox screen. refer to AA/NA.
:-&@? add haldol 2mg bid.
|-0 d/c ambien.
:-# d/c elavil. use hard candies. [dry mouth side effects - Doc]
;-P d/c haldol. add clozapine. AIMS exam. vitamin E 800 iu bid. [dystonia]
:-)~ reduce haldol. add cogentin to reduce sialorrhea.
8-~ reduce dose of seroquel.
(:-) reduce depakote. add zinc, selenium. [Depakote can cause hair loss]
;-) establish boundaries. do not schedule at end of day.
;-x see with chaperone only.
=^..^= give Ativan 1mg IV to relieve catatonia. (thanks, ClinkShrink)
:-o (on seeing the bill for 1st appt.)
>:-O (on seeing the bill for missed appt.)
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains.