Somebody had to do this. May as well be me.

Play nicely y'all.

Bacon is easily the most disgusting tasting food on the planet.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand, GO!

You're not supposed to eat it out of the stomach of deceased octogenarians, Cam.

That reminds me of something. Check out this video of what was found in a Quiznos sub.

Yes, Peter, inevitably it was something you said.

Man....I hate politicians!

Me too!

Someone likes politicians?

Is somebody going to come by daily to delete old posts? We can't have continuity in a shoutbox thread now can we?

I rather doubt it. The King is dead. Long live the King.

Welcome to Shoutbox v2.0: This Time It's Permanent!

I was thinking about starting up the Official Viagra thread.

You would have only a few posts but 1,000,000 million views.

Or one post that lasts a long time, even if it's old.

This was an awesome idea, Krunchdog!!!!

Let's place bets on how long we can make THIS thread last before we get muzzled.


Grrrrrrrrrr.

I propose an Official Spanish Inquisition Revival. Bounty on the head(s) of the Shoutbox Naysayer(s).

I got dibs on playing Torquemada.

We WILL get you, my pretty.

Kidding, of course. I can fit WAY more awful crap in a post than in the Shoutbox! And the Shoutbox wouldn't load pictures of my naked self anyway.

Oh, on that matter. For those of you who already have some, I'd like to buy them back. PM me.

I'm keeping the Viagra one, Bob.

That was the most requested one when it was first published, so I know there are too many of them out there for me to ever hope to retrieve them all.

Enjoy it in good health and with my blessings.

I'm being good. Do you know how tempted I am right now to drag this thread through the filthiest, meanest, most politically incorrect gutter I can mentally muster? Well, do you?

No Shoutbox! Harumph! Shit all over my new spring white bucks, why don't ya?

Really, this is just the same as if I went over to Chris' house and wiped myself with his brand new bathrobe. Dis, dis, dis!

As if?

I don't know, but I think Chris has the photos to prove it.

It had to be ordered and it has yet to arrive. Please be patient.

I thought the hospital robes were for the patient.

A priapism post...

Trouble is, if that thread was up for 4 hours you'd have to call your doctor.

Nah. I'd just go with it.

Irregardlessically...

Doctor, nothing! Call all your friends. "DUDE, check this out..."

But all of JP's friends ARE doctors!

Scott, I wouldn't be calling GUY friends to help me out with that!

EDIT: Crap! I just remembered: I'm married! That means no one would help me with it!

Ummm, statistically, that would impede only 40% of all men.
You should consider other co-factors.

Edit: In truth, the only thing you'd be considering after 4 hours is a lidocaine injection and some dilaudid. Having ANY friends come see it after 4 hrs. would only be so that someone other than yourself can help you recall what it used to look like.

Funny. It made perfect sense to me.

First, they came for the Democrats.
I was not a Democrat, so I said nothing.
Next, they came for the Republicans.
I was not a Republican, so I said nothing.
Then they came to Massachusetts.

I'm goin back to Massachusetts

After watching that video, i dont think i will ever be eating at Quiznos again (not that i eat there much as it is)... Those guys were pretty funny as well, quite entertaining.

Murph, your avatar hijack is adorable.

What do you guys know about this?

Koney2012 Video

I know I'm going to get involved !

I hadn't heard of it / him till today.....

That is a sad commentary on the state of the media these days. Haven't seen the video yet, but I understand they play a little loose with the timelines and what is going on. Koney was driven out of Uganda a number of years ago and is now a problem mostly in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

I believe he was almost killed in the Congo two years ago.

It's a great example of how social media can be influential and invoke positive change.

However, child soldiers are a big problem in many countries of the world and while I applaud this effort to remove one leader, I hear many people discussing this video as if he is the only one in the world performing such a travesty when there are many countries where it is not only common, but even socially accepted.

Hopefully it will result in not only Koney's downfall but also a much better appreciation of the global issue.

If you are interested in another first hand look at the situation from someone who has witnessed the results, I highly recommend reading Romeo Dallaire's book.
They fight like Soldiers, They Die Like Children
It's not for the feint of heart but then again neither is the reality.

I had the pleasure, no honor, of hearing Mr. Dallaire do a speech on leadership in the non-profit sector that was based upon his experiences that he describes as his failed attempts as Force Commander of Unimar to try and stop the genocide in Rwanda. Obviously there is no comparison between the work as a non-profit leader in Canada and the situation in Rwanda but his speech centered around the psychological challenges of being a leader in general. When put into perspective of the challenges and mental anguish he endured (to the point of admitted attempted suicide upon his return.) then it really sets a perspective that can not be ignored.

Oops a bit off topic here but obviously I count Mr. Dallaire as a personal hero of mine and I believe both his books, the above plus Shake Hands with the Devil: The Failure of Humanity in Rwanda should be read by everyone who enjoys life in a free and democratic nation.

The revolution in Miranmar was led, in part, by two 13 year old twins.

In the places you are discussing, life expectancy is rather short, so you've got to kill a lifetime's worth of people and make as many babies as possible when you're still a juvenille.

I wish I were joking.

Good morning, gentle persons. Bob has just wired me from a secret location. Please correct typing error. Myanmar not Miranmar.

There's more to the Kony2012 video. Upon further research I've found there has been a lot of dissent surrounding the movement as a whole. I personally questioned the military intervention aspect, but this is only one objectionable piece of a much bigger puzzle.

It's easy to get sucked in when a video "pulls" at your emotions; I did. I question most everything, but the video got the better of me because there were children involved. It turned me from a libertarian socialist that abhors war and military intervention, to someone with a knee-jerk reaction supporting it. Don't get me wrong, I believe that military intervention can be just (after all other peaceful means have been exhausted), but there is one fundamental principal, and that is the people have to overwhelmingly agree to it-in this case the people of Uganda-and this definitely doesn't seem to be the case.

It's incontrovertible that Kony needs to be captured and brought to justice, but this will accomplish very little as it's a systemic problem in impoverished countries with corrupt president's and other curable contributing factors. The Ugandan president Yoweri Museveni-whom is a great friend of the U.S.-is wanted on war crimes...

If you read the articles and watch the video below (even do further research), it may change your view. It changed mine.

KONY 2012 Response from Adam Branch in Uganda

"Invisible Children" Co-founder (KONY 2012) Hints It's About Jesus, and Evangelizing

Joseph Kony 2012: growing outrage in Uganda over film

Video by a female blogger in Uganda.

We (White westerners) aren't the grandeur's of the universe.

Peace

YouTube personality "Skweezy Jibbs" really nails it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdkI-PoVo64 (some profanity)

Try to get past his affectations. What he says is a great summary of this KONY campaign.

Given that both the Ugandan and US Military have been actively hunting him down for a number of years, I don't know what a video will accomplish other than wider recognition of this man and perhaps the issue of child soldiers.

The reason Koney is largely in the Congo is because of its vast jungles and failed government. It is rather hard to find an kill someone without the cooperation of the local government and a more friendly terrain.

Spent yesterday up in the Muskokas, an absolutely beautiful day. Summer is coming quickly to Southern/Central Ontario this year. We weren't too far from Axiom, relatively speaking, but didn't really have time to drop in and say "Hi" (not sure if the plant was open on Saturday or not). Anyway, we bought a nice boat in Bala, the main reason for the trip (at a great price) and then went over to Muskoka Lakes Winery and sampled some of their award winning Cranberry and Blueberry wines . Afterwards we had lunch and coffee at the foot of the falls in Bala, just beautiful.

Hmmmm...my invitation musta gotten lost in the mail or something?

Spring is early here, too. Seventies today and eighties midweek. Actually, that's not Spring, it's Summer.

Unbelievable.

They had quite a stockpile of wine, Mark. I'll let them know...

I'm actually not a wine fan. I'd be looking for beer.

But the trip still sounded nice and I'm deeply hurt that I wasn't invited.

Worse, you flaunt it in my face afterwards!

How about chutney? they had Wild Blueberry Crannberry Chutney.

Why not just add pawpaw, so that all three of the indigenous fruits of North American can be included?? Poor pawpaw.

We were poor Spanish explorers, sent by the throne to look for new and exciting fruits. We didn't find any, so we had to kill everyone. We really didn't plan it, it just worked out that way. Sorry.

Hello?
::listens::
.
.
.
Hrrmpf, doesn't even echo like a shoutbox...

Hey, an opening to make fun of both our heritages at the same time....

Spanish singer Alejandro Sanz was on television when he used the word 'manana'. The host asked him to explain what it meant. Alejandro said that the term means "maybe the job will be done tomorrow, maybe the next day, maybe the day after that. Perhaps next week, next month, next year. Who cares?"

The host turned to Irishman Shay Brennan who was also on the show and asked him if there was an equivalent term in Irish. "No. In Ireland we don't have a word to describe that degree of urgency,".

Where TF is Spring?!?

OK, I know one of you did it. Maybe it was a conspiracy between or among you. Maybe you've hidden it in someplace you think no one will ever look, like inside your pants. If that's the case, I'll just have to let the medical examiner find it for me. When I DO get it back, I'm not telling the Canada geese, so maybe they'll sweat to death.

We've got it here in VA. You can have it back.

Unusually warm here too. Broke records yesterday and today and tomorrow are expected to break more.

No geese yet. Feel free to keep them.

I hate geese. Was bitten on the finger by one once. I was lucky I had any skin left at all.

Do your fingers smell like tuna?

Highly doubtful.

Hmmm. They may have at the time.

Ha! See, Peter?

>>said in my best staticy Walmart PA voice>>
Moderator to thread seven. Moderator to thread seven.
We need a clean up in thread seven...

That didn't even need the "staticky" voice to be funny.
It was just funny.

Why are people so darn funny this week?

Yes, from feeding kitty! haha

To whom? haha

Sean has some Salk HT2-TL speakers and hasn't posted pics and impressions of them here. What's that about?

No way!

*note to self--do not share secrets with CV anymore. . . .

Yeah, he totally outed you on that deal. Dish.

Dearest Mr. Box: I miss you.
Love, Anonymous

Good one Bob,your going to pee him off again.



signed,

Shoutboxer

How's 'bout a 'Bring Back the Shoutbox Rally' in Ottawa? We can make it like the Million Man Marches on Washington----the 23 Man March for free speech on Canadian websites. That's assuming I can get 22 more of you to join in.

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!! What is THAT 4-letter "B"-word doing on this site? Faster Pussycat, Kill, Kill!

Hey! Look at that B & O ad! Their streamer looks like a tiny beer cooler for two 4 oz. cans. Eurotrash, pure and simple.

Ok, off to Home Cheapo to get some grout sealer...

...and we're back....went to Lowes instead...and got a coffee...double-double...

Hmmm...maybe this should be in the Shatner thread?

I am so over the Greek yogurt thing. At first, it was interesting. Now, if I try to eat it, I can't help thinking its' just Yoplait with 2 tsps. of flour added. I'm sorry. Did I ruin it for someone? Bandit still likes it.

Glad you are. It's really just strained yoghurt with a more 'Metro' name.

I'm still into Balkan Yogurt. why? All the fat (6%) and no thickeners.

I almost quoted Murph in this reply until I realized this is an ersatz shoutbox.

I still love it with honey.

We just make our own greek. Sorta.

I like Greek yogurt for the extra protein. A 12 pack of Chobani (asst. fruit flavors) is under $11 at our Costco. I keep a few stashed in the work frig right next to the Haldol Decanoate.

I just wanted to call Bob on his own Metroness.
And that is so a word. Well, it is now, anyway.

I feel qualified to do that with my current avatar. Damn, I really have to change that thing.

I think I just ate too much chocolate.

Keep the avatar Murph. Its so, um, metro-macho.

Happy National Cleavage Day

It's also Doctors' Day. I wonder what is the connection ...

Good day to be a doctor.

Does that mean we should all go and watch Carry On Doctor?

I still miss you, Shoutmeister.

I'm still offended by you, shoutmeister.

Nah, the shoutbox pretty much amounted to this:

But, I kind of like that.

Yep.

I had to post this *somewhere*

It's under a bridge in the Fremont neighborhood of Seattle. This is not my pic. It is not new to me. But I found myself thinking of it a lot lately.

She's cute and she's bored.

Where's Charles?

Ahhh...the troll under the bridge. Neat!!

Probably a meth lab inside of it.

I was wondering what Lisa Loeb does with her time when Lillith Fair is on hiatius.

She has eight OTHER stories, too.

Bren R.

I slept for about 13 hours yesterday. I fell asleep about 3:00pm, woke up around 9:30, watched Cowboys and Aliens, then went back to sleep until 6:30 this morning.

No wonder it's been so quiet on the boards!

I'm sorry I deleted it, but a friend emailed me a picture of Bill Clinton today. In it, Bill was entering a large room, about to walk up the 3 steps to the podium, both arms in the air in two big, static "howdys," sporting a gigantic smile.

The caption read: Did somebody mention Columbian prostitutes?

And while we're in the cocaine capital of the Milky Way with our best and brightest, I have a serious math problem I need help with. Well, OK, it's arithmetic. However...

There were 10 Secret Service agents (How come we don't refer to them as the SS?) and 11 military personnel. That makes 21. There were 20 women involved. I can't do fuzzy math, but I think there's still a problem.

That reminds me of a poem with the word Timbuktu in it.

You mean a limmerick, of course, right?

What's the difference?

Let's see. Poems can take any form. The form for a limmerick (still, a type of poem) is etched in stone.

It is always as follows:

There once was a man from_______ (Rhyme A)
Who used to go dancing in________ (Rhyme A)
When he got up to_______ (Rhyme B)
His his legs went_______ (Rhyme B)
And everyone pissed in their______ (Rhyme A)

5 lines, rhyme scheme A/A/B/B/A

EDIT: There really oughtta be a limmerick thread.
And in contemporay times, they're usually schmutzig.

Here you go, Bob!

I didn't find it, but I recreated it in Photoshop.

Yes.

I'm THAT good!

Great. Now I'll have to try and work while playing out all those scenarios in my head all day. Thanks Bob! GRRRR.

It's ALWAYS Hawaiian shirt day!

Maybe in Oakland, but not in Virginie. Do it anyway, just because.

Damn right. It gives people here hives. It's awesome.

Gee, Ken, that kind of behavior for that kind of "reward" makes you a lot more like me than you'd like to admit.

I often wore clothing that irked others. Some advice: if you choose the day carefully in advance, you can get a lot more mileage outta your rayon shirt (or paisley chaps). Why are Hawaiian shirts always something other than cotton anyway?

A couple of mine are cotton. They're not Hawaiian, per se (I've only got one of those, as of last night), though.

There was a Hawaiian shirt-wearing fool.
These shirts he assumed were très cool.
He wears them only on Friday
When his co-workers say, "Why, Dave?"
His response is to quote The Golden Rule.

Seen on Facebook:

Dick Clark has died. Now I can't celebrate New Year's Eve properly. Well played, Mayans, well played.

Stole that.

Bren R.

Just replaced a thermal fuse and an ON/OFF switch on the dryer. The cost of these parts were approx $130...they looked like they might be worth $3-4 apiece to make...what a scam!

That is robbery, bud!

Cool, Peter, 2 limmericks in 2 days. Can someone get Saturday, please, and I'll cover Sunday.

Painting my way red today.

There once was a man from Missouri
Whose bowels were not in a hurry.
To speed up his motions
He tried pills, plugs, and lotions,
But what ended up working was curry.

Axiom LFR1100

Sorry for the strong language.

In honor of her birthday. Again, sorry for the F word. I hadn't been to the site in a while, and it's addicting to see what images come up.

Thank you for Saturday, Peter. Awesome.

I'll keep my promise for today. Does anyone want to request a limmerick topic before I begin to compose? Careful, I DO have boundaries you know! OK, so they're magnetospheric. Whatever.

how about pills plugs and lotions but for a different topic?

Or this that too easy for you?

Thanks for the suggestion, Chris. Nice way to avoid my invitation for you to take me out for a $200 dinner.

It's not that it's too easy, but there'd be footnotes necessary for the sanctimonious. Footnotes and limmericks? Unheard of!

I was kinda hoping that someone would misinterpret "topic" and head straight for nominations.

no no, dinner is a good idea.

OK, here's today's limmerick.

A man who was married to Joyce
Could never afford a Rolls-Royce
He gave up this forum
When it started to bore him
And now he's in a Bentley by choice

Mad Cowlifornia Disease. Oh oh.

Ken, I've been meaning to ax. NoVA? Really? Soho (south of houston street--that's "howston," hot "hewston") was one thing. We even let Tribeca slide (triangle below Canal Street), but NoVA?

Dude, I've seen The Cruise. No need to get snooty.

Hey, Bob, you going to the DMV any time soon?

Not Department of Motor Vehicles, but DC/Maryland/Virginia.

I thought it was Delmarva. JP hates Deleware. I don't know why.

"Get" snooty?

Is that like a brand of dinner plates, 'cause it ain't no state?

Attention: MarkSJohnson

I'm pretty sure that Peter's sig is no longer about you. Get with the program.

"Evidently, I need a new sig."

Marky, you can borrow mine if you like. I've got a backlog.

I'm pretty sure that Peter's sig is no longer about you. Get with the program.

"Evidently, I need a new sig."

Marky, you can borrow mine if you like. I've got a backlog.

Bob I noticed you had the last four post in a row on this thread. I'm going to jump in here just so it doesn't look like you're talking to yourself.

Thank you, Gary. You weren't around when we had the real Shoutbox. It was fun. I miss it. People talked to themselves there, a lot.

MARK!

Will you please PM me details re: your ad space. I have a backlog of sig lines and I would love to have two running simultaneously. I will gleefully give you fi'bucks to post a new sig for me everyday, or several times a day. It's really a great deal!

Eagerly anticipating your reply.

Gawd, what a crappy business man. He puts out an ad, gets an immediate repsonse, and ignores it. I'll bet he even belongs to the Concord BBB. Me and my fi'dolla's is still waitin'.

I could have already repsonded to and been murdered by a Craig's list advertiser by now. Jeesh!

Sorry I didn't see these posts...I've had you on "ignore"!

Wow. How insulting.
I was only on "Selectively Ignore".

I've got a couple people set on Igore.