Get Free, Friendly, Expert Advice
Call 1-866-244-8796 or email

Designed and Manufactured in Canada Since 1980


AxiomAudio Blog

Axiom’s Newest Speaker: The In-Ceiling M3

Outdoor Speaker Placement

Speaker Placement: Unusual Room Layouts and Elevating Speakers

Wall'O'Fame
Experimental Atmos
Greetings fellow Axiom owners...
Who's Online
3 registered (CV, bridgman, SirQuack), 31 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Financing
Forum Stats
13317 Members
11 Forums
22875 Topics
404222 Posts

Max Online: 378 @ 02/24/13 04:33 PM
Top Posters
Ken.C 17768
pmbuko 16273
SirQuack 13333
CV 11194
MarkSJohnson 10878
Meanwhile On Facebook

Love this comment from Doug T! "The M22 bookshelf speakers sound so clean and a...

󾓶 Andrew has spoken! Big update on the AxiomPlay Wireless Platform on the Axiom...

A New Look For Our Amps and Pre-amps? Adding yet another level of customization...

Hurry - sale ends Sunday!

Page 31 of 58 < 1 2 ... 29 30 31 32 33 ... 57 58 >
Topic Options
Rate This Topic
#54703 - 04/18/07 11:18 AM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: JohnK]
medic8r Offline
axiomite

Registered: 02/05/06
Posts: 6390
Loc: Fredericksburg, Virginia
The World's Shortest Psychiatry Joke:

A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only underwear made of Saran Wrap.

The psychiatrist says, "Well...I can clearly see your nuts."
_________________________
"The Universe is the game of the self, which plays hide and seek forever and ever" - Alan Watts

Top
#54704 - 04/18/07 11:43 AM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: medic8r]
vassillios Offline
aficionado

Registered: 02/28/07
Posts: 597
Loc: Warrenton, VA
I hope this one hasn't been told already...

2 dumb jocks pull up to a football tailgate party on a camel

After the game is over the jocks return to the camel and one of them lifts up the camels tail.

The other dumb jock asks "Watcha doin that for?"

The other jock replies "Mak'n sure this is our camel, I heard some guy say earlier, 'Look at the 2 A holes on that camel'"
_________________________
Made on a Mac

Top
#54705 - 04/18/07 12:53 PM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: vassillios]
pmbuko Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 04/02/03
Posts: 16273
Loc: Leesburg, Virginia
A man and his wife celebrated their 25th anniversary by returning to the same hotel where they enjoyed their first wedded night together. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to screw your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

As the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

He replied, "It looks like I did a pretty good job."
_________________________
"I wish I had documented more…" said nobody on their death bed, ever.

Top
#54706 - 04/18/07 03:42 PM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: pmbuko]
speakergrrl Offline
old hand

Registered: 03/29/07
Posts: 68
Loc: NC
One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of natives attacked them and knocked them out.

When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne.

The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me."

So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The chief then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed.

Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The chief soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apparant reason, and was killed.

The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, "Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away!"

The second guy answered while still laughing, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples."
_________________________
It's the fountain of youth It's the meaning of life So hot, so sweet, so wet my appetite

Top
#54707 - 04/18/07 04:46 PM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: speakergrrl]
speakergrrl Offline
old hand

Registered: 03/29/07
Posts: 68
Loc: NC
A construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion.

The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his thang and starts masturbating.

The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off, he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the hell is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".

The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"
_________________________
It's the fountain of youth It's the meaning of life So hot, so sweet, so wet my appetite

Top
#54708 - 04/18/07 11:47 PM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: speakergrrl]
JohnK Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 05/11/02
Posts: 10386
Whitney, you may have heard why they kicked Snow White out of the toy box. She sat on Pinochio's nose and started yelling "Lie to me, lie to me!"

And speaking of handsaws, there was the woman who came home unexpectedly and caught her husband in bed with another woman. With strength born of her fury she dragged him into his garage workshop, clamped his penis in a vise and padlocked it shut. She then picked up a hacksaw, and seeing this he screamed " No, no, you're not going to cut it off?" With a smile she replied "No; you are. I'm setting fire to the garage".
_________________________
-----------------------------------

Enjoy the music, not the equipment.



Top
#54709 - 04/19/07 12:10 AM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: medic8r]
JohnK Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 05/11/02
Posts: 10386
Doc, there was the head psychiatrist at the local mental hospital who was giving a pre-release interview of a patient who'd been recommended for release.

Doctor: "If you're released, what do you plan to do?"


Patient:"Well, I have a degree in electrical engineering, which is a good job, so I could go back to that. I've also thought of writing a book about my experiences here in the hospital, which might help people having problems. I've developed an interest here in art history and I'm thinking of returning to college and studying that".

Doctor:"Well, that all sounds very good and should keep you busy."

Patient: "Yes, but the best thing is that in my spare time I can keep being a teapot!"
_________________________
-----------------------------------

Enjoy the music, not the equipment.



Top
#54710 - 06/07/07 06:15 AM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: JohnK]
RickF Offline
axiomite

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 5210
Loc: Vero Beach, Florida
Camping with white man....


The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"

The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?"

"You dumber than buffalo shit. Someone stole tent."
_________________________
Rick
Our Room

smile

Top
#54711 - 06/23/07 02:06 AM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: RickF]
JohnK Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 05/11/02
Posts: 10386
Man comes home unexpectedly, catches his friend in bed with his wife, so he takes his gun and shoots him. Wife then yells at him: "You keep that up and you're going to lose all of your friends!".
_________________________
-----------------------------------

Enjoy the music, not the equipment.



Top
#54712 - 07/18/07 01:33 PM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: JohnK]
HomeDad Offline
connoisseur

Registered: 12/29/05
Posts: 3301
Loc: Central,California
A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.
Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is,
but will give them a clue and let them guess.

The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so begged their
dad for the clue.

Well he said, It's what mummy calls me sometimes!!!

The little girl screams 'Don't eat it, it's a f***ing asshole!!'
_________________________
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Top
Page 31 of 58 < 1 2 ... 29 30 31 32 33 ... 57 58 >



Moderator:  alan, Amie, Andrew, axiomadmin, Brent, Debbie, Ian, Jc 

Home  |  Corporate Info  |  Products  |  Message Board  |  FAQs  |  Warranty  |  Site Map  |  Privacy Statement   |  Contact Us

©2014 Colquhoun Audio Laboratories Limited
All Rights Reserved.