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#54523 - 10/27/05 06:20 PM Re: OT: Jokes
pmbuko Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 04/02/03
Posts: 16259
Loc: Leesburg, Virginia
So the White Sox have finally tied Bobby Brown's record.



They beat Houston four times in one week.
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"I wish I had documented more…" said nobody on their death bed, ever.

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#54524 - 10/27/05 11:58 PM Re: OT: Jokes
AshBoomstick Offline
aficionado

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 540
Loc: Richmond, VA
BWA-HAHAHAHAHAH!!!! god, thats so wrong!
_________________________
Who's the more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him?

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#54525 - 10/28/05 12:11 AM Re: OT: Jokes
JohnK Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 05/11/02
Posts: 10363
Yeah, Peter, but she really got off on it, and now she'll just want more.
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#54526 - 10/28/05 02:44 PM Re: OT: Jokes
pmbuko Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 04/02/03
Posts: 16259
Loc: Leesburg, Virginia
A man in a Florida supermarket is trying to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant tells him that they only sell whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask his manager about it.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some [censored] wants to buy half a head of lettuce."

As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half." The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.

Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"

"Canada, sir," the boy replied.

"Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked.

The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there."

"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada."

"No sh*t??" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?
_________________________
"I wish I had documented more…" said nobody on their death bed, ever.

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#54527 - 10/29/05 12:56 AM Re: OT: Jokes
JohnK Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 05/11/02
Posts: 10363
Quick-thinking young man, indeed, Peter. An Asian gentleman walked into a currency exchange in New York City and handed the teller 10,000 yen, for which he received $90 U.S. The next week he again went in with 10,000 yen, but this time the teller handed him only $89. Upset by this, he demanded an explanation, but the teller said merely "Fluctuations". Enraged at this, the Asian gentleman stormed out, pausing at the door to yell "Fluc you Amelicans, too!"
_________________________
-----------------------------------

Enjoy the music, not the equipment.



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#54528 - 10/29/05 04:03 AM Re: OT: Jokes
bridgman Offline
axiomite

Registered: 08/25/04
Posts: 5279
Loc: Bowmanville, Ontario, Canada
ROTFLMAO

I think this explains an awkward incident I had in Seoul many years ago. My counterpart there was suddenly PO'd with me and wouldn't talk to me -- and I never knew why

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#54529 - 11/01/05 05:17 PM Re: OT: Jokes
pmbuko Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 04/02/03
Posts: 16259
Loc: Leesburg, Virginia
Back to the nun theme:

Three men were at a baseball game. Seated in front of them were a couple nuns whose habits were blocking their view. The men were pretty annoyed at this so they decided to badger the nuns in an attempt to get them to move.

The first guy raises his voice and says "I think I'm going to move to Utah. I hear there are only 100 nuns in the entire state."

The second guy speaks up and says, "I want to live in Montana. There are only 50 nuns in that state."

The third guy says, "Well I'm moving to Idaho. It's only got 25 nuns."

At this point, one of the nuns turns around, looks at the men, smiles, and says in a very sweet voice, "Why don't you go to hell? There surely aren't any nuns there."
_________________________
"I wish I had documented more…" said nobody on their death bed, ever.

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#54530 - 11/02/05 02:37 AM Re: OT: Jokes
JohnK Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 05/11/02
Posts: 10363
Very good, Peter, but sister's advice might not be entirely correct. For example: Sister Margaret died and through some error found herself in hell. She immediately phoned St. Peter and said, "This is Sister Margaret, there's been a terrible mistake!" She explained the situation and St. Peter said that he'd get right on it.

When she hadn't heard anything by the next day she again called St. Peter and begged, "Please get this error straightened out immediately; there's an orgy planned for tonight and everyone must attend!" St. Peter replied "Certainly, Sister Margaret, I'll get get you right out of there".

Because of other duties however, her plight slipped his mind until the next morning when another phonecall from hell came in and he realized his terrible blunder. Picking up the phone he heard: "Hey Pete, this is Maggie. Never mind".
_________________________
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Enjoy the music, not the equipment.



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#54531 - 11/04/05 03:23 AM Re: OT: Jokes
pmbuko Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 04/02/03
Posts: 16259
Loc: Leesburg, Virginia
A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Prescott, AZ. He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a full bowl of chili.

After five minutes of the old cowboy just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asks, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"

The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, "Nah, you go ahead."

Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight is so revolting that he immediately pukes up the chili into the bowl.

The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too."
_________________________
"I wish I had documented more…" said nobody on their death bed, ever.

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#54532 - 11/04/05 10:30 AM Re: OT: Jokes
Ken.C Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 05/03/03
Posts: 17741
Loc: NoVA
Mmm, great to read over breakfast...
_________________________
I didn't do it, no one saw me, you can't prove anything.

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