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#54583 - 12/13/05 04:33 PM Re: OT: Jokes
pmbuko Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 04/02/03
Posts: 16220
Loc: Leesburg, Virginia
I wish I were that creative. I get them from a jokes forum.
_________________________
"I wish I had documented more…" said nobody on their death bed, ever.

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#54584 - 12/13/05 04:36 PM Re: OT: Jokes
Sutter Cane Offline
aficionado

Registered: 04/10/04
Posts: 626
Loc: Wichita, KS
Well wherever they come from, they're damn funny!

How are you liking your new home? Gotta love that cold weather huh? lol


Sutter

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#54585 - 12/15/05 10:54 AM Re: OT: Jokes
RickCathey Offline
old hand

Registered: 04/14/04
Posts: 67
Three guys had applied for a job at the CIA. They had passed all of the tests that had been presented to them all with flying colors and it had all come down to the last test to see who would be the new agent.

The first man was brought into a small room. A table was in the middle of the room with an entrance door on one side and the exit door on the opposing wall. There were two chairs at the table, each across from one another and a gun lying in the center of the table.

The first man was brought in and asked to sit down. The CIA recruiter told the man he was proud that he had done so well in the past grueling tests but it all comes down to this final test that he MUST pass before even being considered. He explained that the CIA had to have 100% dedication and loyalty to the department and that they accept nothing less.

The recruiter told the man to take the gun lying on the table and go through the door that was behind him. There you will find your wife sitting in a chair waiting there for you. Your task is to kill her. A shocked look comes over his face but he nervously picks up the gun and rises from the chair and heads to the door. He opens the door and go into the room shutting it behind him. Ten minutes pass and the man comes back through the door shaking his head and says “I am sorry I just couldn’t do it. I have been married to my wife for over 25 years and just can’t bring myself to do such a thing.” The examiner says that was fine, told him to have a nice day and said you are excused now.

The second man was also brought in and told to sit down. The same speech was made to him as the first man, “you will find your wife on the other side of the door sitting in a chair and you must kill her,” again emphasizing the loyalty that must be made for the job position. He arose from the chair, picked up the gun and walked though the door. After about 5 minutes you could hear crying and sobbing going on and then 5 minutes later he also came back through the door shaking his head. “I am sorry I just can’t do this. She is the mother of my two children and the love of my life”. Again the examiner thanked him and told him he was excused.

The third man comes in and sits down in the chair. For the third time the examiner goes though his instructions that he must kill his own wife in the other room and that this would be the final test to determine his loyalty to the CIA. The man picks up the gun and walks through the door. The door had just closed shut when there was a sound of 6 rapid gun shots – boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.. then a brief silence of about 10 seconds, then the examiner heard the gosh awful lest noise and racket coming from the room. It sounded like the room was being demolished. Ten minutes later the man emerges from the room, straightening up his coat and tie as he closes the door behind him and said “You know, some dumb ass put blanks in that gun so I had to kill her with the chair”…

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#54586 - 12/15/05 12:41 PM Re: OT: Jokes
Rock_Head Offline
aficionado

Registered: 10/10/04
Posts: 867
Loc: Delta, BC, Canada
Funny! The CIA must be desperate for employees if they are hiring people who have been married for 25 years?
Cheers,
Shaun

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
-- H.L. Mencken

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#54587 - 12/15/05 01:06 PM Re: OT: Jokes
snakeyes Offline
aficionado

Registered: 07/13/04
Posts: 828
Loc: Newburgh, NY
party pooper
_________________________
------------------------------------------------
Leave the gun, Take the canolis.

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#54588 - 12/15/05 08:58 PM Re: OT: Jokes
JohnK Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 05/11/02
Posts: 10304
Well, in the spirit of the holiday recall the young lady who'd had a fantasy for years about doing Santa Claus on Christmas Eve. So one Christmas Eve she hides near the fireplace and waits. Sure enough, just after midnight the jolly old man comes down the chimney and leaves the toys around the tree. At that point she jumps out, tears off her blouse, and strikes a provocative pose.

Seeing this, Santa responds "Ho, ho, ho. Santa has to go. He has to deliver toys to the children!"

She then takes off her slacks. "Ho, ho, ho. Santa has to go. He has to deliver toys to the children!"

So then she takes off her bra and wiggles out of her panties. "Hey, hey, hey. Santa has to stay. He can't get back up the chimney with this hard on!"
_________________________
-----------------------------------

Enjoy the music, not the equipment.



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#54589 - 12/15/05 09:15 PM Re: OT: Jokes
St_PatGuy Offline
axiomite

Registered: 03/07/05
Posts: 7373
Loc: Glendale, Arizona
Good one, JohnK!
_________________________
***********
"Nothin' up my sleeve. . ." --Bullwinkle J. Moose

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#54590 - 12/15/05 09:45 PM Re: OT: Jokes
Sutter Cane Offline
aficionado

Registered: 04/10/04
Posts: 626
Loc: Wichita, KS



Sutter

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#54591 - 12/15/05 09:51 PM Re: OT: Jokes
rcvecc Offline
aficionado

Registered: 04/17/03
Posts: 608
Loc: east haven ct
a catholic priest and a rabbi are talking to one another and a little boy walks by

the priest accidently says out loud ''man,id love to screw him''
and the rabbi looks at the priest quickly and says ''out of what?''

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#54592 - 12/15/05 09:55 PM Re: OT: Jokes
Sutter Cane Offline
aficionado

Registered: 04/10/04
Posts: 626
Loc: Wichita, KS
, I don't know if I should be laughing or shaking my head, but that was funny nonetheless.


Sutter

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