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#210693 - 06/04/08 03:51 PM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: medic8r]
St_PatGuy Offline
axiomite

Registered: 03/07/05
Posts: 7409
Loc: Glendale, Arizona
I don't know, but I bet CV has the commemorative traffic cones that marked the occassion.
_________________________
***********
"Nothin' up my sleeve. . ." --Bullwinkle J. Moose

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#210694 - 06/04/08 03:57 PM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: alan]
pmbuko Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 04/02/03
Posts: 16288
Loc: Leesburg, Virginia
Good one alan. I've got one I just heard recently.

Three friends are sitting in the common room of the elderly care facility in which they reside complaining about their aging bodies. The first says,

"The first thing I do when I get up at 8 o'clock is go stand in front of the toilet, but I'm lucky if I start to pee before 8:30."

"Oh yeah?" says the second. "I get up at 9 to go sit on the pot and I'm lucky if anything happens before 10."

The third shakes his head and says, "By 10 o'clock I'm crapping like a champion and pissing like a racehorse. Only problem is I don't get up until 11."
_________________________
"I wish I had documented more…" said nobody on their death bed, ever.

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#210695 - 06/04/08 03:59 PM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: pmbuko]
medic8r Offline
axiomite

Registered: 02/05/06
Posts: 6401
Loc: Fredericksburg, Virginia
*LOL, covering face and sighing*

The funny thing is, I can hear you telling that one, and it makes it that much more funny.
_________________________
"The Universe is the game of the self, which plays hide and seek forever and ever" - Alan Watts

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#210720 - 06/04/08 11:37 PM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: medic8r]
CV Offline
Founder, Axiom Upgrade Club
shareholder in the making

Registered: 07/20/06
Posts: 11233
Loc: Richland, WA, USA
 Originally Posted By: medic8r
Sean, I forget. Why did Negative Orange cross the road?


I'm imagining a Negative Orange Julius on the other side.

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#210722 - 06/05/08 12:22 AM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: CV]
St_PatGuy Offline
axiomite

Registered: 03/07/05
Posts: 7409
Loc: Glendale, Arizona
Don't get caught up in the madness, Charles!!


Good one, by the way.
_________________________
***********
"Nothin' up my sleeve. . ." --Bullwinkle J. Moose

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#210733 - 06/05/08 07:45 AM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: St_PatGuy]
medic8r Offline
axiomite

Registered: 02/05/06
Posts: 6401
Loc: Fredericksburg, Virginia
So is a Negative Orange Julius just a Julius?

Tom will be here any moment with pictures of clowns.
_________________________
"The Universe is the game of the self, which plays hide and seek forever and ever" - Alan Watts

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#210773 - 06/05/08 01:05 PM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: medic8r]
BrenR Offline
connoisseur

Registered: 12/10/03
Posts: 3602
Loc: Winnipeg MB Canada
Et tu, Pomegranate?

Bren R.

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#210780 - 06/05/08 01:53 PM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: BrenR]
tomtuttle Offline
axiomite

Registered: 06/20/03
Posts: 8293
Loc: Tacoma
No, JP, you're "just a Julius"

But I aim to please...



Seattle's legendary (Julius Pierpont) JP Patches
_________________________
bibere usque ad hilaritatem

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#216883 - 07/30/08 05:36 PM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: tomtuttle]
medic8r Offline
axiomite

Registered: 02/05/06
Posts: 6401
Loc: Fredericksburg, Virginia
Hmm, this thread is getting cobwebs.

Here's an old-fashioned joke I found on http://www.misscellania.com

---

God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone that comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of 20 years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only 10 years and I'll give you back the other 10?" God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a 20-year life span."

The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for 20 years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back 10 like the dog did?" God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of 60 years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for 60 years. How about 20 and I'll give back the other 40?" God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you 20 years."

But man said, "Only 20 years? Could you possibly give me my 20, the 40 the cow gave back, the 10 the monkey gave back, and the 10 the dog gave back? That makes 80, OK?"

"OK," said God, "You asked for it."

So, that's why, for our first 20 years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next 40 years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next 10 years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last 10 years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
_________________________
"The Universe is the game of the self, which plays hide and seek forever and ever" - Alan Watts

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#227529 - 10/29/08 02:35 PM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: medic8r]
tomtuttle Offline
axiomite

Registered: 06/20/03
Posts: 8293
Loc: Tacoma
Recent discussion about Jason's Dad's theatre requires me to post this.

*****

A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big bowl of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers.

After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says, "It looks like you blew a seal."

"No, no," the penguin replies, "It's just ice cream."
_________________________
bibere usque ad hilaritatem

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