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#227533 - 10/29/08 02:46 PM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: tomtuttle]
MarkSJohnson Online   happy
shareholder in the making

Registered: 09/27/04
Posts: 10965
Loc: Central NH
That's an oldie.... but also one of my favorites! \:\)
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::::::: No disrespect to Axiom, but my favorite woofer is my yellow lab :::::::

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#227534 - 10/29/08 02:50 PM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: MarkSJohnson]
MarkSJohnson Online   happy
shareholder in the making

Registered: 09/27/04
Posts: 10965
Loc: Central NH
As a matter of fact, though, you tell it better now then you did then.
_________________________
::::::: No disrespect to Axiom, but my favorite woofer is my yellow lab :::::::

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#227536 - 10/29/08 02:57 PM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: MarkSJohnson]
tomtuttle Offline
axiomite

Registered: 06/20/03
Posts: 8305
Loc: Tacoma
Oh hell. Somebody ask Jack to pass me the metumucil.
_________________________
bibere usque ad hilaritatem

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#227628 - 10/30/08 01:03 AM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: tomtuttle]
JohnK Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 05/11/02
Posts: 10412
Yeah Tom, and it's also one of Peter's old favorites .
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#227660 - 10/30/08 08:43 AM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: JohnK]
medic8r Offline
axiomite

Registered: 02/05/06
Posts: 6404
Loc: Fredericksburg, Virginia
Aricept and Namenda for everybody!

*sprinkles samples in the Water Cooler*
_________________________
"The Universe is the game of the self, which plays hide and seek forever and ever" - Alan Watts

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#227662 - 10/30/08 08:47 AM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: JohnK]
MarkSJohnson Online   happy
shareholder in the making

Registered: 09/27/04
Posts: 10965
Loc: Central NH
 Originally Posted By: JohnK
Yeah Tom, and it's also one of Peter's old favorites .


Wow.

Tom's worse than I thought.
_________________________
::::::: No disrespect to Axiom, but my favorite woofer is my yellow lab :::::::

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#227663 - 10/30/08 09:11 AM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: MarkSJohnson]
medic8r Offline
axiomite

Registered: 02/05/06
Posts: 6404
Loc: Fredericksburg, Virginia
 Originally Posted By: MarkSJohnson
Wow.

Tom's worse than I thought.

Inconceivable!
_________________________
"The Universe is the game of the self, which plays hide and seek forever and ever" - Alan Watts

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#227668 - 10/30/08 10:48 AM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: medic8r]
jakewash Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 12/26/03
Posts: 10400
Loc: Calgary, Alberta
<Inigo Montoya>I do not think means what you think it means.</Inigo Montoya>
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Jason
-----------------
TTTHHHPPPPPTTTT!

My HT

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#227674 - 10/30/08 11:41 AM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: jakewash]
tomtuttle Offline
axiomite

Registered: 06/20/03
Posts: 8305
Loc: Tacoma
A man is sent to prison for the first time. At night, the lights in the cell block are turned off, and his cellmate goes over to the bars and yells, "Number twelve!" The whole cell block breaks out laughing. A few minutes later, somebody else in the cell block yells, "Number four!" Again, the whole cell block breaks out laughing.

The new guy asks his cellmate what's going on. "Well," says the older prisoner, "we've all been in this here prison for so long, we all know the same jokes. So we just yell out the number instead of saying the whole joke."

So the new guy walks up to the bars and yells, "Number six!" There was dead silence in the cell block. He asks the older prisoner, "What's wrong? Why didn't I get any laughs?"

"Well," said the older man, "sometimes it's not the joke, but how you tell it."
_________________________
bibere usque ad hilaritatem

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#231617 - 11/26/08 12:20 AM Re: OT: Jokes [Re: pmbuko]
pmbuko Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 04/02/03
Posts: 16298
Loc: Leesburg, Virginia
Harry came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep sleep.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Harry."

Harry was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!"

St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back:... as a chicken."

Harry was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.

The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past. "So, you're the new hen, eh? How's your first day here?"

"Not bad," replied Harry the hen, "but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!"

"You're ovulating," explained the rooster. "Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?"

"Never," said Harry. "Well, just relax and let it happen."

Harry did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!

Harry was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood.

He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout, "Dammit, Harry! Wake up. You're crapping in the bed!"
_________________________
"I wish I had documented more…" said nobody on their death bed, ever.

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