BlasphemerBob!

At first, I thought you were talking about your musical talents. That came as something of a surprise.

And then, the knives. Okay.

Well, since you've been pondering buying one for decades, you probably don't need it very badly.

We got a Borner V-Slicer years ago. Still have it. I only use it occasionally, but when I do, it doesn't piss me off. Which is really what I'm looking for out of a kitchen gadget. No plans to upgrade.
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