Ways I have ruined relationships......

5. Not realizing the girl thought it actually was a relationship after just one date.
-Obviously too clingy anyways.

4. Not believing someone when they said, "If you would risk your life skydiving, then I can't risk mine by seeing you."
-Obviously a control freak anyways.

3. Not fighting back enough when my buddies rushed into my apartment, politely pre-apologized to my girlfriend then grabbed me by all four limbs, gagged me, and took me on a roadtrip.
-Obviously no sense of humor anyways.

2. Explained why my friends nicknamed her "Oscar" because she was too grouchy all the time.
-Do I have to explain this one?

1. Laughing with my out loud voice when she asked me when she would be getting the ring.
-Obviously she had 'pet rabbit boiler' written all over her.



Best Way I 'almost' blew a relationship:

1. After receiving an obscene, heavy breather call in the middle of the night, I rolled over, passed the phone to my wife and told her "It's for you."
-Yup, it was only an 'almost' and that's why she's a keeper.

With great power comes Awesome irresponsibility.