"I'd like to see how smart Theo Epstein is with the Tampa Bay [Rays] payroll. You got Carl Crawford 'cause you paid more than anyone else, and that's what makes you smarter? That's why I like whipping their butt. It's great, knowing those guys with the $205 million payroll are saying, 'How the hell are they beating us?"

--Buck Showalter on the New York Yankees eeerrrrrr Boston Redsox smile

I’m armed and I’m drinking. You don’t want to listen to advice from me, amigo.

-Max Payne