Some perspective:

After sending that original post as an email (w/pic) to a few friends, here are three responses:

"Bells' Palsy! That's a crappy way to ring in the New Year."

From an AZ friend who hasn't been up for a visit in 3 years:

"Bob! OMG! I'm stunned! When did you get a dog?"

And, finally:
"I guess this puts an end to your flugelhorn career dreams, eh?"

See what I've wrought?

Always call the place you live a house. When you're old, everyone else will call it a home.