This was MY afternoon yesterday:

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Some days you just have to treat humanity like your own personal chew toy, got a drunken wrong number yesterday:

"Good afternoon"
'Hey... are you delivering my meat to (address deleted)?'
"Pardon?"
'My package of meat to (a/d). Are you delivering it?'
"Who are you looking for?"
'Is this Jacob's Meat?'
"Oh, yes, sorry.. I could barely hear you. Which size package was that?"
'The 40 lb one'
"Right, I meant to call you... we've got a special on this week, for the price of 40 lbs of beef, I can give you 120 lbs of bear meat... would you like to do that instead?"
'Uh... yeah, sure!'
"Okay, so let me just change your order..." (tapping on keyboard) "... okay, 120 lbs of bear meat... do you want the penis included in your order?"
'... ... ... the penis?'
"Yes, would you like the bear penis as part of your 120 lbs of bear meat?"
'Uh, no.'
"Well, perhaps you should ask your wife or girlfriend and call me back?"
'Yeah, okay, I will.'

That's the gift that keeps on giving... the poor guy answering the callback at the butcher and hearing "Hey, it's me again... my wife doesn't want the bear penis" - I only hope he came up with "then wear a condom or a candy bar wrapper or something".

Bren R.