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#285441 - 01/05/10 05:55 PM Awesome way to teach a gloating kid a lesson
pmbuko Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 04/02/03
Posts: 16437
Loc: Ben Lomond, California
Got this story from another board.

My 9 year old cousin and I are playing a game of UNO over the holidays along with another one of my cousins, Mark. We are both in our late twenties. Billy is the 9 year old. My Uncle told me that Billy has been on this UNO kick lately. He LOVES this game something fierce and he has been bugging the shit out of his older sisters and parents to play constantly. Naturally, he brings his UNO deck to the family get-togethers and starts asking around for a game. The three of us sit down at a table to play.

Billy knows and understands the rules of the game and therefore, by default, is decent. We play a couple games - let him win most - then take a break. You have to understand, the kid is in love with UNO. He's happy as hell that he won and is parading around the house about how he beat his two older cousins. I get an idea. I tell Mark about it. He smiles and agrees. We call Billy over and ask for a rematch. He says yes. We sit down and play another game.

Before we asked Billy for a rematch, I stacked the deck with all the Wild cards on the bottom and started dealing, slowly...:

1st Card: I deal Billy the first Wild from the bottom of the deck. He's leaning forward from the excitement of another game. He picks up his wild card and makes a sort of "...whoo.." under his breath.

2nd Card: Billy gets another Wild card. The "...whoo.." under his breath was now an audible "Whoo!" He's getting excited...

3rd Card: Billy picks up his 3rd card. A Wild Draw 4. He knows these are the better of the two wilds and starts to move around. He can't sit still. He starts to laugh. He can't believe it. He has just been dealt three wilds and nothing else. We ask him why he's so excited, and he says he doesn't want to tell us. Alright, fine. I deal the 4th round of cards...

4th Card: He picks up another Wild Draw 4. He's screaming a closed mouth scream and the excited movement is picking up.

5th Card: He can't wait until he gets his next card. He rips it from the table to see. He looks at it. It's another Wild. He can't hold it in anymore. He's practically shaking. He's screaming for his dad to come check this out. My Uncle takes one look at his hand and knew what me and Mark were up to. So, my Uncle hypes it up. "Billy!!! What!!! This is the best hand ever! Wow! I knew you were good at this game... but not that good!"

6th Card: Another Wild. He almost can't hold on to his hand let alone sit in his chair. His arms are bent at 90 degree angles and shaking up and down. Like he just got the best present in the world. I don't think he remembers where he's at right now. He's in a mode that adults can never imagine. We did at one time, but those days are long gone. He's lost in this hand.

7th Card: Another Wild Draw 4. He can't believe it. He's visibly freaking out from sheer awesomeness. I wish I could feel what he was feeling. Because it looked so nice. He was so damn excited that he was dealt seven wilds. We ask him again what he is so excited about and this time he breaks down. He knows not to show his cards to the other players but he can't help it. He shows me and Mark his hand and starts screaming how he was just dealt seven wild cards. Screaming how he can't wait to beat us. It was awesome. His dad is smiling. Billy is screaming louder. He is almost in shock because he is so excited. Me and Mark just witnessed a little kid receive extreme excitement one card at a time. It was awesome. I can't explain it.

I get Billy's attention and Mark goes to work. Before we dealt the hand we removed all the Skip and Reverse cards. I get my cards under the table from Mark. We start the game.

Me and Mark use our cards to cheat and we skipped Billy every time and reversed back to each other. BAM! bam...BAM! It happened quick. The game is over. Mark won. I had one card left. Billy had all 7 in his hand. All Wilds. He was dumbfounded. He looked up at me and Mark and back down to his hand again. Me and Mark jumped up and started dancing around and chanting how much better we were at UNO than Billy. There he sat. Staring at his 7 wilds thinking what the hell just happened to me. He was silent. He almost cried. Me and Mark got up and started parading around the house.

I like to think I taught him a life lesson. But really, I think I was just being a real big dick. Either way. It was the funniest thing I've seen in a long time =)


Here are some of the better responses:

"Man, towards the end i thought this was going to be some lahdeedah bull shit about making kids happy. Thank you for torching his dreams, it made my day."

"Ten bucks says you and Mark are found in a ditch somewhere in ten years with UNO Wild cards laid on your eyes."

"I'm pretty sure that's how evil geniuses are created."
I can explain it to you but I can't understand it for you.

#285457 - 01/05/10 07:31 PM Re: Awesome way to teach a gloating kid a lesson [Re: pmbuko]
terzaghi Offline

Registered: 04/04/07
Posts: 4872
Loc: Tulsa, Oklahoma
Sweet \:\)

#285462 - 01/05/10 07:49 PM Re: Awesome way to teach a gloating kid a lesson [Re: terzaghi]
oldskoolboarder Offline

Registered: 05/25/03
Posts: 2185
Loc: Menlo Park, CA
Highlarious. Made my day and I needed that.

#285480 - 01/05/10 11:34 PM Re: Awesome way to teach a gloating kid a lesson [Re: oldskoolboarder]
St_PatGuy Offline

Registered: 03/07/05
Posts: 7463
Loc: Glendale, Arizona
That was awesome! Yes, that kid may be scarred for life, but. . .well, at least he won't gloat anymore.
"Nothin' up my sleeve. . ." --Bullwinkle J. Moose

#285481 - 01/05/10 11:36 PM Re: Awesome way to teach a gloating kid a lesson [Re: St_PatGuy]
CV Offline
Founder, Axiom Upgrade Club
shareholder in the making

Registered: 07/20/06
Posts: 11742
Loc: Richland, WA, USA
\:\) That really would have been something to see.


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