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Re: OT: Jokes
tomtuttle #298487 03/25/10 07:53 PM
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pmbuko Offline OP
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Mmmm. Beer.

Re: OT: Jokes
tomtuttle #298488 03/25/10 07:53 PM
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That's funny, when I go into third person I call myself the same thing.


Always call the place you live a house. When you're old, everyone else will call it a home.
Re: OT: Jokes
BobKay #298556 03/26/10 02:33 AM
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axiomite
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An escaped convict breaks into a house looking for money and guns. Inside he finds a couple in bed. He orders the guy to get out of the bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowners wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes to the bathroom. While he's there, the husband whispers over to his wife "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman for years. I saw how he kissed your neck, if he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain...do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill both of us. Be strong, honey. I love you!!"

His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing me on the neck, he was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline.
I told him it's in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!"


Half of communication is listening. You can't listen with your mouth.
Re: OT: Jokes
Adrian #298558 03/26/10 03:01 AM
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connoisseur
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House dog #1 is lying on the kitchen floor minding his own business, trying to ignore the yelling in the living room. House dog # 2 trots in looking really put out.

Dog 1:What was that all about?
Dog 2: If he didn't want me to chew up the goddamn sofa, then he shouldn't have left it out like that!


Always call the place you live a house. When you're old, everyone else will call it a home.
Re: OT: Jokes
BobKay #298636 03/26/10 05:38 PM
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axiomite
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Fred

-------
Blujays1: Spending Fred's money one bottle at a time, no two... Oh crap!
Re: OT: Jokes
fredk #298641 03/26/10 06:07 PM
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axiomite
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Re: OT: Jokes
fredk #298661 03/26/10 07:34 PM
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 Originally Posted By: fredk

Man, do I know a lot of people that will love that one! \:\)


::::::: No disrespect to Axiom, but my favorite woofer is my yellow lab :::::::
Re: OT: Jokes
MarkSJohnson #299891 04/01/10 09:49 PM
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pmbuko Offline OP
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My favorite is "Making Baby Smile" \:\)



Re: OT: Jokes
pmbuko #299893 04/01/10 09:58 PM
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I know there are a few of those that I've done the wrong thing on...


I am the Doctor, and THIS... is my SPOON!
Re: OT: Jokes
Ken.C #299904 04/02/10 12:04 AM
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axiomite
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If that one was titled Clearing Sean's Nose it would be right on.


Err. . .i mean, TOTALLY WRONG!


***********
"Nothin' up my sleeve. . ." --Bullwinkle J. Moose
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