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Chris - it would not hurt to friend her friend unless there was something that you really did not like about him. If you piss him off, your chances with her may suffer.

I guess I am officially an old fart timer. I don't know how many times, I have told my kids, get off the text, facebook, IM, whatever and make a "phone" call. My first date with my wife was an "honest to god blind date". The lady that worked for me was "setting me up" with her cousin. She gave me the phone number a week before the date - I called and we ended up talking for 2 hours. There is something to be said for the sound of a human voice.

Now that I have that off my chest, this does sound promising and...it I agree, it might be a good idea to friend the friend. After all, she did bring him along as a safety valve - so she apparently trusts him.

Well, I did send him a message basically saying, I'm really picky about who I friend on FB, and that I'm leaving him unconfirmed for now, but not rejected. He replied back, "That's alright." But yeah, you two have a good point, I hope I didn't sour him to me too much. Though I didn't like him much, but that may be because he kept taking her attention from me in conversation.

As for the girl, we're still exchanging messages. I entertained her most of yesterday while she was at work. Already have received two from her today, and about to write my second reply. Trying to get her to come up with a day where we can go out again, but she works a later shift than I, so it may not be until the weekend.

That's because you grew up with the telephone being a normal way to communicate with people. When the telephone first came out, and kids started calling eachother, their parents told them, "get off of the phone and go talk to him/her face to face... there's something to be said for looking a person in the eye when you talk to them".

For kids growing up now, the internet and cell phones are a normal way of communicating with other people. And for shy people such as this girl Chris is courting, it's actually a very good way of being able to open up to people. Instead of getting on a phone or talking face to face, not knowing what to say, and running away embarrased... they can take their time, figure out what they want to say, and even edit what they're going to say before they send it off. It gives shy people a lot more confidence when it comes to having contact with other people.

Now the flip side to that coin is.... I was painfully shy when I was a kid. I can remember the first few 'phone calls' to females I made, I was sweating profusely, I had a list of things to say all written down in front of me to talk about, and I rehearsed the whole conversation (at least the way I had figured it would go down) I was about to have many times before I actually called the girls in question. But once they got on the line, everything usually went to shit, and I wound up bumbling around my words like a retard and getting off of the phone as fast as I could! But since that was the only form of communicating back then, I simply HAD to get better at talking to girls, or I was never going to get LAID!!! LMAO

So I know a lot of people who've said that texting on your cell phone or sending instant messages over the internet does nothing for a person in the way of getting them prepared to actually talk to another human being, and that those forms of technology actually hurt communication skills because they never learn how to communicate verbally. But I suppose our grandparents probably said the exact same thing about telephones, that talking to someone you can't see is one thing, but learning how to look another man/woman in the eye and tell them something takes a completely different skill!

And I'd say both camps are right in a way. It seems to me that the art of looking a person in the eye while talking to them has really diminished over the years. Now-a-days it almost feels like a violation of personal space when someone comes and looks you in the eye when they talk to you, because not very many people do that anymore. I hope that doesn't become true of people actually talking to eachother with their mouth as well!

Oh well, they'll figure it out. One day todays kids will be the parents, and they'll be telling their kids to stop reading their friends minds, and text them like a 'normal' human being would do! After all there's something to be said about reading someone else's words!

Well I did say that I supposed I am an old fart. You did a good job citing all the arguments I would use to refute what you are saying - so 'nuff said. If you extropolate your arguement, we are all heading towards the human blobs in Wall-e. On the flip side, I agree that it is a good way to express what is on your mind without the finality of the spoken word until you hit the send button....

Just don't put any sushi into the slushie machine!

I know two couples who met online and got married (and are still married).

Cheers,
Alan

Chris: It's been 14 years since my lounge lizard, er, ahh, I mean dating days, but I'd think that "he" would not have "friend requested" you (Boy, is all that crap fupped or what?) if he saw you as a potential interloper.

Beat him to he punch if he is her guy. Make him think you're awesome (and even aloof as far as she's concerned). He'll re-confirm it all to her and torpedo his own ship, if he is, in fact, even sailing one.

OK, OK. So I did a lot of this.

Oh. We might think of starting a "Rumination" thread so this insteresting, but off topic stuff can keep clear of everyone's alpha-numeric recapitulation manias (M-that VP-this...).

Lol, no worries. I'm an old fart as well. I had to face either using technology like Facebook & cell phone texting to talk to my kids (who live in Florida now with their mom), or basically barely talk to them at all.

My son will talk to me on the phone for maybe 15 minutes before he's done... my daughter more like 2 minutes. But they will both text me all day long.

Adopt, adapt & conquer as they say in the military (or something like that).

Agreed....my daughter's main communication mode is texting. My wife has become quite adept at it. My company took it off our phones, so I don't have the option.

Back to the derailed topic....I can't imagine trying to get back to the date scene. I wish Chris best of luck at using any or all weapons in his arsenal....

I agree