Axiom Home Page Forums General Discussion The Water Cooler Turn and run... nothing can stop them...

I always assumed that the plant featured in Return of the Giant Hogweed was a figment of Peter Gabriel's imagination, but apparently that's not the case.

Everyone in Europe is supposed to already knows this, but it seems to be a real plant, and the sap even gets activated by sunlight. Giant Hogweeds are in Ontario now, and presumably they'll be showing up on my land, as every other invasive species seems to do within hours of entering the country.

I'm wondering if I should have held off on the VP180 and spent the money on a flamethrower instead.

The truly wierd thing, though, is that all of the online articles on the Giant Hogweed seem just a bit fake,, with lines like "the sap bonds with the DNA in your cells"...

Is this for real, or just a mistimed April Fools scam ?

"Alright, we're in. Party at Bridghemans"

Sounds like nasty stuff that does indeed bond with your DNA in skin cells.

Yep, I thought hydrofluoric acid was bad...

If I see one of these things I think the first step will be blowing the stem off at ground level with a shotgun, then waiting a few days for it to dry out before going any closer.

I'm currently fighting with bamboo from my neighbors yard where they planted it for a privacy wall. I think it's a losing battle. In a few more years I can at least probably save some money by selling my lawn tractor and replacing it with a good machete.

Might make for a cool yard actually, except that it dies every winter so in the spring it's just a big dead mess of dried stalks (not to mention a fire hazard) until the new growth starts in.

I love George Carlin's bit on the flamethrower: "The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.'"

My parents have a couple of batches of bamboo growing in their backyard. Been there since the beginning of time, I think. That stuff is incredibly hardy and spreads like crazy. Many mornings my dad would practice his golf swing on all the new shoots that would pop up around the yard.

In college, one of my summer jobs involved removing a patch of bamboo for a family friend. That was some tough stuff, with a root network like crazy. I have never returned to the scene to see if I was successful. I have a sneaking suspicion that the bamboo won.

"Swingin' Clubs in the ... hot sun
I Fought Bamboo and ... it won
I Fought Bamboo and ... it won
I needed money, 'cause I ... had none
I Fought Bamboo and ... it won
I Fought Bamboo and ... it won"

A little early for tequila isn't it?