Any "holiday" that *requires* that I "gift" makes me feel personally and socially obligated, guilty, surpressed, repressed and, ultimately, depressed. Birthdays are individual, therefore, exempt from my contempt.

Nuke FTD and Hallmark, I say. Secretaries' Day? Really? I remember the first one, and I was pissed then.

And blame them for Mother's Day, Father's Day, and The Arrival of Your Gay Friends' First 3rd World Infant Day.

Rick's on point with this one, even if it does read kinda phony-like.
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Always call the place you live a house. When you're old, everyone else will call it a home.