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Virgins, Whores, Wieners and Weiners
#349895 06/10/11 04:15 AM
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BobKay Offline OP
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Hey, Toneeee! Listen up. I got some 'dvice fa youz.

First o' alls, dat time in da gym don't seem ta be helpin' outchya face a whole lot. Hey, don't get me wrawng. I know dat da 60's is still in 'nd everyting, but I don't tink dat includes A'fred E. Newman.

Seriously, brudder, you coulda had dat blind guy's job. Ta get in all dis trouble and still be dry. I can't see wheah it's wort it.

Look, I know she's an x-ray and dat ain't whatcya always in da mood ta pound. Butcha know, it's cool dese days ta marry a whoah. Really! I seen dis show--dey got all dese crazy f'upped broads who's all married ta these rich and famous guys. Dey all look like whoahs. And I known some whoahs dat wasn't dat classy, but I'd radder be seen wit dem at Vinnie's Venetian Gahdens dan any dese bitches. I mean, a coupladem are real hot, but I wouldn't do 'em from anudda state, wit Rosie's strap-on tied to a goa'post.

Guy, George Clooney dated hahr. Dja know how many guys'd kill for Clooney's sloppies? Do ya? What is she? Ain't she like some princess from Tibet or summ'n? Buddy, you could use her connections some day, for like a pardon ya might need, or summ'n.

'memba how I told ya's dat da phone brought down de Anguilos and some a da udda fam'lies? But dey wasn't sendin' picthas o' dere schwanzes, ya know?

So, Tony, baby... Wait, what'd you say your last name was? Shit! Lemme see dat schwanz picthca. Holy f--kin' 'a.'

Ya ain't neva seen me or nuthin.'
I'm in a wholatta trouble. Ya know, mistakes like dis ain't' been so cool since Lepke got fried.

'memba, I knows wheah youz live and whatchya look like negged, so don't go doin' anyting stupid- like. I'm watchin' ya.

Last edited by BobKay; 06/10/11 04:17 AM.

Always call the place you live a house. When you're old, everyone else will call it a home.
Re: Virgins, Whores, Wieners and Weiners
BobKay #349939 06/10/11 06:58 PM
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I was trying to figure out which celebrity accent I should read that in, but I failed.

Who would be good? Joe Pesci? Marlon Brando? Joan Rivers? Fat Tony from The Simpsons? Maccauley Culkin?


Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica.
Re: Virgins, Whores, Wieners and Weiners
medic8r #349940 06/10/11 08:05 PM
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Yeah, I was going with Tony Soprano.


bibere usque ad hilaritatem
Re: Virgins, Whores, Wieners and Weiners
tomtuttle #349944 06/10/11 08:53 PM
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Bob, you lose me within the first few words of your meandering soliloquies laugh .

But I love them because they're AWESOME smile !


The only reasonable argument for owning a gun is to protect yourself from the police.
Re: Virgins, Whores, Wieners and Weiners
medic8r #349976 06/11/11 02:28 PM
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BobKay Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: medic8r
I was trying to figure out which celebrity accent I should read that in, but I failed.

Who would be good? Joe Pesci? Marlon Brando? Joan Rivers? Fat Tony from The Simpsons? Maccauley Culkin?


When I was "composing" it, I was simultaneously thinking of Edward G. Robinson and Elmer Fudd.

Seriously, I encounter people who talk like that everyday since I've been a multi-degreed-failure tradesman. Crap, I had relatives that sounded almost that bad.

Cam, don't be concerned. By the 2nd paragraph of these thingies, I'm not sure anymore either.


Always call the place you live a house. When you're old, everyone else will call it a home.
Re: Virgins, Whores, Wieners and Weiners
medic8r #349984 06/11/11 03:42 PM
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Originally Posted By: medic8r
I was trying to figure out which celebrity accent I should read that in, but I failed.

Who would be good? Joe Pesci? Marlon Brando? Joan Rivers? Fat Tony from The Simpsons? Maccauley Culkin?


I read it in Mark's accent.


***********
"Nothin' up my sleeve. . ." --Bullwinkle J. Moose
Re: Virgins, Whores, Wieners and Weiners
St_PatGuy #349985 06/11/11 03:55 PM
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I'm flattered!

Those that have spoken to me have told me I sound EXACTLY like Emo Phillips!


::::::: No disrespect to Axiom, but my favorite woofer is my yellow lab :::::::
Re: Virgins, Whores, Wieners and Weiners
MarkSJohnson #349986 06/11/11 03:58 PM
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Mark, that made me LOL. laugh


***********
"Nothin' up my sleeve. . ." --Bullwinkle J. Moose
Re: Virgins, Whores, Wieners and Weiners
BobKay #349994 06/11/11 08:14 PM
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Dude. Your writing reminds me of Kurt Vonnegut.

... only on acid.

... and stranger.

When are you releasing your first book?


Fred

-------
Blujays1: Spending Fred's money one bottle at a time, no two... Oh crap!
Re: Virgins, Whores, Wieners and Weiners
fredk #349998 06/11/11 08:56 PM
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He already has........

{{<<--~~ In His Mind~~~-->>}}


::::::: No disrespect to Axiom, but my favorite woofer is my yellow lab :::::::
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