I have the software to do this from my bedroom.
Ladyfriend: Chris, what's that red light in the corner?
ClubNeon: What? That? Oh, nothing - have another wine cooler!
[Chris deftly covers the red light with a towel]
Ladyfriend: Um, OK, but why are there seven guys in matching turquoise shirts in the corner?
Axiomites: We heard there was a train running in here.