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#361886 - 12/26/11 12:57 PM season's greetings
J. B. Offline
connoisseur

Registered: 01/19/11
Posts: 1291
Loc: Quebec, Canada
this text was composed by kbarnes on another forum; i pass it on here for your appreciation.

J.B.


Christmas greetings by kbarnes.

Friends, I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends, but it is difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my lawyer yesterday, and on advice I wish to say the following: Please accept with no obligation , implied or implicit , my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive , gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious, secular persuasions and or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2012 , but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great ( not to imply that the U.S. is necessarily greater than any other country ) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee . By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms : This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her, him or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher . Best Regards (without prejudice) Name withheld (Privacy Act)

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#361890 - 12/26/11 01:45 PM Re: season's greetings [Re: J. B.]
FireGuy Offline
devotee

Registered: 10/31/07
Posts: 316
Loc: Buffalo, New York
Awesome post!
_________________________
FireGuy
M22V3/M3ti/M2V3/Omega Super 5/Aperion 5C/OutlawLFM1+Sub/Denon AVR1906/YamDVDC750/AS AMP110

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#361896 - 12/26/11 05:37 PM Re: season's greetings [Re: FireGuy]
Ajax Offline
axiomite

Registered: 12/30/03
Posts: 6331
Loc: Cleveland, Ohio
Ditto that, but I think he left "gender" out of the following sentence.

"I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2012 , but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great ( not to imply that the U.S. is necessarily greater than any other country ) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee."
_________________________
Jack

"People generally quarrel because they cannot argue." - G. K. Chesterton

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#361904 - 12/26/11 08:01 PM Re: season's greetings [Re: Ajax]
MarkSJohnson Offline
shareholder in the making

Registered: 09/27/04
Posts: 11444
Loc: Central NH
Crappy secular lawyer!
_________________________
::::::: No disrespect to Axiom, but my favorite woofer is my yellow lab :::::::

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#361935 - 12/27/11 08:16 AM Re: season's greetings [Re: MarkSJohnson]
medic8r Offline
axiomite

Registered: 02/05/06
Posts: 6471
Loc: Fredericksburg, Virginia
Was it written by Lionel Hutz?
_________________________
Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica.

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#361943 - 12/27/11 09:58 AM Re: season's greetings [Re: MarkSJohnson]
BobKay Offline
connoisseur

Registered: 03/23/10
Posts: 3596
Loc: Massachusetts Badlands
Originally Posted By: MarkSJohnson
Crappy secular lawyer!


Is there a word for triple redundancy?
Tridundancy?
_________________________
Always call the place you live a house. When you're old, everyone else will call it a home.

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#361946 - 12/27/11 10:42 AM Re: season's greetings [Re: BobKay]
fredk Offline
axiomite

Registered: 12/06/07
Posts: 7786
Loc: Canada
No need for lawyerly weasel words.

Anybody who has been to their local Wally world or Worst Buy on Boxing Day knows the true meaning of Christmas in our society.

Merry Christmas and a Bah Humbug to you all.
_________________________
Fred

-------
Blujays1: Spending Fred's money one bottle at a time, no two... Oh crap!

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#361948 - 12/27/11 10:46 AM Re: season's greetings [Re: fredk]
BobKay Offline
connoisseur

Registered: 03/23/10
Posts: 3596
Loc: Massachusetts Badlands
I'm guessing you were forced to be one of them?
_________________________
Always call the place you live a house. When you're old, everyone else will call it a home.

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