Axiom Home Page Forums General Discussion The Water Cooler It's all in your head

Don't ever link porn and depression ever again! I thought I had a life threatening condition for a second .

Bob, I apologize for not posting when I read this thread. I knew that I could take an hour to write a very informed, compassionate response.

But I figured I'd wait till JP posted, then write: "Me Too".

Honestly, thanks for taking the time to write. I recognize some of that, and to a minor degree have dealt with some of the same issues.

It takes a confident man to say "Eff the stigmas, I'm posting this because it's the truth and I care about these people"!

Do what I do. Eat a lot.

Thanks everyone. Just glad that lots of you took the time to read it and think on it for a minute or two. And special thanks to THE clarifyer!

You're now aware that it is common and can be startlingly invisible to one's self, and those who know you well, too!

Stand way back from the mirror every now and then. If what you see ain't lookin' as chirpy as you've remembered, or would like, go get some happy. You deserve it way more than a new amp.

The reason why this is a powerful thread is because Bob took the time to tell his story.

Narrative brings power and understanding to our shared experiences.

So, thanks again, Bob. “The condition upon which God hath given liberty chirpiness to man is eternal vigilance” (John Philpot Curran, not Jefferson, btw)

Has it been long enough? Can we non sequitur the thread now?

Agreed, Sean.


Actually, sometimes I do. I tell my patients to get to their family doctor so he/she can help them get their diabetes under control, or their blood pressure, etc.

I had a professor in residency who put things in perspective when she said that we (psychiatrists) are here when friends, family, pastors, etc are unable to help. That's when it gets clinical, yo. Actually, the last sentence was me.

As you said, I didn't get any negative connotation from his post. Just sayin'.

Bob wrote:


JP wrote:


I knew it! Denial. Don't worry Bob, we'll help you come to see how bad you feel. Really.

Quite aside from the social stigma and resulting denial, depression is particularly nasty because it renders you unable to either accurately assess your condition or do something about it. Depression robs you of the clarity of mind to see what is happening and robs you of the ability to reach out for help.

ON A BRIGHTER NOTE:

I cannot believe that I didn't include this, prominently, somewhere in all that gush.

Though you guys are poor substitutes for most things of value, when it comes to therapists, psychopharms, psych meds and CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), you are, indeed, a pretty good oleo:

This place takes 24/7 "walk-ins," there's always some charlatan available to write a chuckle perscription, and I like that the side effects are so unpredictable.

I just wanted to say that before I discover that my MDD is your fault.

Impossible. The official party line remains: it's all your mother's fault.

Boy you just never know what you are going to come back to on this board after a vacation.

Bob, you should be commended for taking the time to bring this topic forward. Having spend many an hour in waiting rooms and visiting areas for family members and friends who have been through similar challenges, I can associate but mostly from the third person.

Epiphany. I just edited the above sentence to add the word mostly. You all just made me realize something that I myself may have been in denial about to some degree.

Quiet often the weight of depression in someone struggling with these symptoms can spread to the people closest around them. It could be in the form of sadness as you watch your friend or loved one struggle. It could be a burning frustration from the feeling of helplessness. It can often become a severe stress, maybe even a depression of it's own from feeling like you have to be the one to behave perfectly ALL THE TIME or 'walk on eggshells' all the time. The periods of silence because your afraid that everything you say will be misconstrued and result in the person crying, being upset or angry.

My point? Twofold I guess. I just wanted to add that if you ("you" being the figurative "anybody") think you can suck it up and handle your challenges on your own, consider that you might be effecting more than just yourself. Your friends/family will likely never tell you they are struggling to keep it together for you. If your lucky, they will still always be there for you but their suffering may be growing as well due to your denial. In the worst cases, I could see how if this ripple effect is left to stagnate on it's own, it could result in lost friendships and broken marriages.

Secondly, as loyal as the friend may be, their loved one's challenges may be bringing them to a place where it couldn't hurt to get some help themselves. (Sorry Bob, I couldn't think of another word here vs. "help" but I don't consider the word derogatory or demeaning at all when used in this context.) Just because you are trying to be the strong one, doesn't mean that you couldn't use some support in the process. Even the strongest platoon of relief soldiers needs reinforcements eventually.

Admittedly, I never practiced what I just preached but perhaps now I will be much more likely to do so.