Axiom Home Page Forums General Discussion The Water Cooler OT:Men & Women

My brother, or maybe my sister-in- law sent me these this morning, and I thought I'd share. There were a lot more, but I'm not sure I could get by with them.

1.WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

2.WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
 
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

3.UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

4.MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
 
He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"
 
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?
 
The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.

5.CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.
 
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
 
He answers, "You see, it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
 
So, I figure if I have to roll my own............. so does she.
 
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)

6. WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
 
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

7.WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
 
The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
 
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
 
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
 
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"
 


 

Usually I don't finish reading those kinds of thing but this one is pretty good. Boy, that is a really cruel thing when a woman hides a remote like that, then on the other hand it would only slow things up a bit. And I guess he is in charge of coffee. Thanks.

If her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl...

Need I say more?

I don't think Playgirl does twins issues, as you'd find in Playboy. Not that I'd know.

In reply to:

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Not that I'd know

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July 01.. 'double your pleasure, double your fun' issue..

[homer voice] DOOH!![homer voice]

bigjohn