Axiom Home Page Forums General Discussion The Water Cooler OT - Worst Movies

I couldn't find any bad movie threads, sooooooo......

My wife rented a bunch of movies to get us through the snow storm this past weekend. For those keeping score, we got about 14 inches and it snowed again today!! Anyway, we watched Ice Age (really shows off the surrounds), Collateral (a bit boring for my taste) and my nominee for the worst movie ever.......Anchorman - The Legend of Ron Burgundy.

We watched about 30 minutes of it and said, "there's got to be something better to watch on TV." I can't ever remember renting a movie and not watching the entire thing.

Any other bad ones to avoid?

I guess you aren't a Will Ferrel fan? I thought Anchorman was hilarious!

In general, I like the stuff Will Ferrell does. I guess there are always going to be a movie or two that just doesn't do it for me.

Cabin Boy with Chris Elliot

But you have to admit Letterman's "Fancy Lads" cameo was a gas!

Personally, I actually like Anchorman. The only movie that I can't stand for the life of me (there are plenty movies that I don't like, but only one I can't stand) is Evita starring Madonna. Stupid, boring movie.

PS didn't mean to offend anyone who actually likes the movie (although I couldn't understand how)...

No. no. no. You have it all wrong. IMDB doesn't lie.

Turbulence - Made it through less than a half hour and shut it off.

What! anchorman was great! hey John dont i get credit for showing what ice age can make your system do.lol
Day after tomorrow (terrible)
turbodog i thought turbulance was a thriller spoof because that movie was hilarious. ( i may be wrong but i think they actually made a sequal) how did they sell that one lol

Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
Showgirls

on the other hand, I saw Sideways on the weekend, it's really good, ...

bad movies... well, here is a list of nominees for the annual Razzies. they are given out each year in conjunction with the oscars. they reward the worst films and performances of the year.

and, if you dont get enough there, here is the Rolling Stone list of the 100 worst movies of 2004. enjoy.

bigjohn

"The Stepford Wives" (from theRollingStone list)

..that was a train wreck, horrible movie...

bar-none, worst movie i have ever seen is Master of Disguise. Terrible premise, terrible acting, no jokes. It was just plain wrong.

i think master of disguise was somewhat amusing but my daughter loved it. i think they did not make the humor transferablle to adults like a shrek.

"Am I not turtley enough for you?..."

Agreed...not good, although my son (11 or 12 when he saw it) liked it a great deal.

Interesting work for Brent Spiner though...

WhatFurrer

The worst movie I ever saw was The Rich Man's Wife. They were clearly going for that twist ending. Unfortunately, it was also clear 30 minutes into the movie. It was horrid. The only reason I stayed in the theatre was because it was a free preview with evaluation showing, and I wanted to tell them how bad it was...

I know there are worse movies, but I'm trying not to torture myself by compiling that list. However, a recent, profound disappointment to me and the missus was Spiderman 2. I'm sure lots of people liked it, and I don't want to cause any hard feelings. Fun premise, nice special effects, bad motion picture.

Here's my Top Ten List of bad movie(s)

1. Titanic
2. Titanic
3. Titanic
4. Titanic
5. Titanic
6. Titanic
7. Titanic
8. Titanic
9. Titanic
10. Titanic

I'm talking about the 1997 version. They spend $200 million and all I can do is cheer for the large lump of frozen water.

Doesn't even come to 1958's A Night To Remember.

If this was the only movie avalable to me I'd give up on electricity.

Since getting into this HT stuff, I find my manner of rating things and choosing what I watch/listen to has changed.

Previously, I was most interested in plot line, story, acting, some good visuals, good directing, etc. Something a critic might term as a "good movie". Not articulated very well, but you get the drift.

Now I find that, while the "good movie" thing is still important, I am much more tolerant of things if the video is stunning (Spiderman 2 Superbit) or the audio is impressive (Blue Crush). I'll invest the 1.5 - 2 hours to take advantage of eye & ear candy, while suffering through a bad movie. I'll also rewind a bit to experience really good stuff 2-3 times as a bonus for an otherwise noxious experience.

When the movie, video and audio are ALL excellent (LOTR), it's just too special for words.

I have also found music/concert videos over the last 8-10 months. If the reviews say the audio is fantastic (Eagles -Hell Freezes Over), I'm there - almost regardless of the artist. Over the weekend, I got my hands on "Yes - Symphomic Live". I have never been a Yes fan, but WOW. They did a concert in Amsterdam with a 45 piece Symphony orchestra in DTS and it was captivating. I watched it twice.

Anyhow, the "worst" movies once in awhile, get a small reprieve at my house if they have video/audio redeeming qualities. But be advised - care must be exercised. While the LFE output was incredible, Blue Crush the movie almost put me into a "this movie really sucks big time" -induced coma. There ARE risks.

The worst movies for me are the ones I get through and am angry that 2 hours of my life were stolen from me. Event Horizon is one. I could have used that time to watch paint dry.
Though, to be fair I think part of that was personal expectation. I am a fan of Laurence Fishburne and Sam Neill so I hoped for some good old, well scripted, well acted sci-fi creepiness. I got a pile of well acted poo. Very disappointing.

jr

blue crush? ray, aint that the movie with all those bikini wearing teenage girls? OK, now we know why you liked it. eye and ear candy, eh? good excuse

but i agree with what you are saying. movies that i wouldnt have even glanced at before, now i have a genuine interest in. in fact, we were lookin at movies to rent the other night, and i picked one up and said, "honey, how bout this one". her reply, "marisol told me that movie sucked".. my response, "yea, but i bet it sounds good on the stereo". i got no reply, but the roll of her eyes was enough. we ended up getting the movie 'garden state', which was very good BTW..

bigjohn

Oh. I did like that movie. Of course, it has Natalie Portman in it so I'm likely to enjoy it anyway. The shot over the pool at night was great cinematography.
Anyone see closer? Was that any good at all?

jr

Ray where did you pick up the YES dvd? How much $?
I won tickets to a YES show when I was about 14. They sounded horrible but the stage show was incredible. They were on a rotating stage, with a huge rotating star of lights above the stage. The arms of the star came down and surrounded them for the finale. 2nd best stage show I've ever seen. 1st would have to be Pink Floyd.
Sorry for the hijack.

You can get it at Amazon.com (mine's on it's way to me now. I ordered it Sunday after watching one song from the show which was included on the Magnification DVD-A).

BTW, bray, when did you see YES? They're obviously known for great performances, so if they were playing badly, I'm wondering if it was during one of the dodgy eras in their ever-more-complicated lineup history...

bigjohn - bikinis??? young girls???? How did I miss that? GREAT LFE. Strap yourself in. If really lousy movies disturb you, keep an airlines barf bag or two handy.

Brady, because of what I described relative to music/concert videos, I have had to resort to the Blockbuster and Netflix mail thing to get some of the DVDs I want to watch. The stores just don't have this kind of stuff available to rent. Another interesting source of DVD material is the library system. Even though Rochester is NOT a metropolis, there are over 7,000 titles in the County Library, and they'll transfer between branches so you can pick up a title at your local branch.

I got the YES concert from the library system after reading rave reviews about it. It was excellent.

It was probably betwwen 1978 and 1980, I dont remember for sure. Ive toasted a lot of brain cells since then.
I do remember my date was EXTRA HOT! Do I get a bonus for that?

Talking about hotties, was it me or the orchestra on the Yes DVD concert was full of hotties?

Garden State is definitely my new favorite! Zach Braff is a genious, I believe he wrote, directed and starred lead. Natalie Portman was superb as well. Great subtle humour. Sorry, about the hijack, we're supposed to be discussing terrible movies here.

I'll throw another suggestions in the "terrible" bin, Weekend at Bernies II (i mean come on the first one was funny but how many jokes can you make about dragging a dead guy around?).

Jaime, you are correct about that. However, I should also explain that at my age, a "hottie" extends to any female that is less than 12 hours dead.

In reply to:

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less than 12 hours dead

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after 12 hours, she is no longer considered a "hottie". by that time, she is just "luke warm".

i 2nd the bernie II movie. oh, and i just remembered another stinker.. 'battlefield earth'.. and the funny part is travolta truly believed this was his masterpiece. he was a co-producer, and assisted in the screen play. this one is quite a terd.. sorry to any scientologists..

bigjohn

Ray wrote earlier:

In reply to:

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I'll also rewind a bit to experience really good stuff 2-3 times as a bonus for an otherwise noxious experience.

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So I'm confused.

Did you or did you not like Showgirls?

In reply to:

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Did you or did you not like Showgirls

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i liked every scene when someone was naked.. so, i guess i liked about 3/4 of it... but i had to turn the volume down..

bigjohn

oh yeah battlefield earth was terrible. but i kept watching to see how terrible it could get im not sure why. with that cast you would think how can they ruin it but alas they did.

50 First Dates
Intolerable cruelty
Look Who's Talking Too
America's Sweethearts
Demolition Man
Speed 2
The Cable Guy
Last Action Hero

1.Beaches
2.Rhinestone
3.Godfather III
4.Moulin Rouge
5.Howard the Duck
6.Junior
7.Cocktail
8.Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
9.War of the Roses
10.Caddyshack II

Jake, you're right about Ice Age. I forgot to give you props for that one.

Ray, I agree with you're assessment of how things change now that you have a super HT system. If the movie is less than entertaining, I also find myself listening for things out of the any of the speakers. I then sit back and smile, thinking "cool!"

John - couldn't agree more. A whole different set of senses engage now than used to. I often find myself misplacing the story line or the lyrics as I concentrate on the visual or sonic excellence that appears.

Craig - nice to see you! That is a serious selection of bottom-feeders. I happen to own each one of them and will be taking them with me this weekend to entertain a group of friends!!!!

Ray ... In that case, I hope you enjoy that dinner at McDonalds ...

Hey ... Do you like a good cigar ?

RLMAO!!!!

I used to enjoy a good cigar, but I was (and have continued to be thus far) able to stop smoking in October. I miss them teribly, but I'M FEELING FINE!!! OK??????

Whew - I'll be all right in a minute.

I figure that not tempting the fates with a cigar will keep me off those bad boys. However, I don't believe that someone else smoking one would be bothersome. I read that the smoking habit is more insidious to break than heroin.

Hmmmmm... I smoke about one cigar per week ... and never tried Heroin ... so I cannot comment on quitting either.

Of course, there ARE quite a few people convinced I AM on some combination of illegal narcotics ...

John, Amie herself actually started a worst movie thread a little over a year ago. I'm chagrined to read some of the relative masterpieces that our members have listed here. My former nomination of Plan 9 From Outer Space remains unsurpassed in my view and I've seen nothing since of comparable quality.

"Blind Date", with Bruce Willis and John Larroquette probably tops my all time worst list. I think this probably the first time I ever walked out of a theater. Coincidentally, "The Whole Nine Yards" with Bruce Willis and Matthew Perry is another one that comes to mind. Runners-up:

Cannonball Run
The Ninth Gate
Joe Versus the Volcano

OK- now i have to disagree with a few of these last picks.

craig- welcome back by the way.. havent seen you in a while.. ok, i have to totally disagree with you on the war of the roses.. that is a dark, yet honest comic depiction of exactly how bad things can get between two intelligent, caring people in a realtionship that is going south. granted, it is very exagerrated, but as a viewer, one is still able to get the point. plus, injected with the morsels of dark, sarcastic humor, i would have to say that 'war of the roses' a great flick. IMO..

dmn23- and i cant go with 'cannonball run'. if you expected anything but fast cars, toilet humor, and no less than 3 bar room brawls, then you expected too much. this movie is in NO way great, but it manages to capture the attitude and playfulness of the entire cannonball event. the movie seems to have no script, just endless gag and blooper reels that seem to form some sort of beginning to end. its meant to be fun, stupid, meaningless, and entertaining, all at the same time.. and it does it. well..

there is just some deep humor in seeing a totally drunk dean martin, arguing with a confused sammy davis jr, while driving a red ferrari and mascarading as 2 priests. now thats comedy!!

bigjohn

I was hesitant to add Cannonball to the list. You'd be particularly stunned if you understood exactly how much of a car nerd I am. I probably couldn't count how many times I watched this movie over and over again when I was 12 or so, mostly for the opening sequence of the Countach blistering through the desert. And Dean and Sammy made me want a 308 long before Tom Selleck ever did.

I suppose you're right. If you know what you're buying into - if you accept the movie on its terms - then you'll probably be okay. But the gags were weak even when the movie was new. For my money I'll take The Gumball Rally and Raul Julia in a fry-your-eyeballs-red Daytona Spyder.

BigJohn ... Doing TEN from memory is hard ... War of the Roses got my nod for being SO hard to sit through. However ... "Blind Date" just got mention ... and it sucked BIG TIME ... so it replaces WOTR ...

Craigsub- agreed, it can be hard to watch.. thats kinda what is dark and good about it to me.. they make you believe those characters, even though the idea is completely unbelievable. but i see both sides.. point taken.

i was trying to PM you, and you are disabled. i have a question to ask you about something we have discussed before concerning my new automobile. please contact me via my e-mail at bigjohniswarm@hotmail.com.. thanks

bigjohn

It's a mental disability! OH! You meant his MESSAGING is disabled. My bad!

(Now for those of you who don't know this, I consider Craig a dear friend, fully capable of taking a tongue-in-cheek rib, based on a play of words, and giving back as good as he gets. There was nothing malicious behind my post. However, he's still a mental case! )

Laugh it up , Jack ... But when Tubeguy shows up here after I tell him AV123 now makes Axiom, we will SEE who is laughing THEN ...

OH LORD! Anything but that! I surrender! I surrender!

"Anger Management" is the only DVD that I have taken out of the player and thrown away so as to prevent anyone from having to sit thru it.....(and I generally love Nicholson and Sandler)

"Lost in Translation" almost moved me to do the same...

Lost in Translation is a strange one... my wife and i went to see the movie in the theater, and we both thought it was a well made movie.. keep in mind, a well made movie doesnt necessarily make it a good movie. we liked the fact of how the director did a good job of conveying the loneliness and solitude that makes people do things that they normally wouldnt. there is more in the silent parts of that movie than there is in the spoken parts. its very powerful, in that it allows you to step back and absorb the environment, and that in itself is a major character in the storyline. i think that part is often over-looked.

but, i will say this. when it came out on dvd, we rented it and watched it with some friends of ours, and it is not as powerful a statement on TV as it is on the big screen. it loses the intensity, and just was not as good a movie the second time. i really think this is one of those movies that is either a love it, or hate it. theres not much in between. to me, it is a good movie, but certainly not one i would want to watch too often. it does leave with you with a general sad and depressed state of mind.

bigjohn

What is interesting, although not unexpected, is how one person's "worst movie" can be defended by someone else as a good to very good movie. Similar to people's speaker preference!!

agreed, i feel kinda like the movie snob here i keep trying to tell everyone they are wrong.. not on purpose mind you.. i just see peoples movies, and i think, "hey, thats a good one. maybe they just didnt get it".. then i realize.. hey, its their opinion, so get off their back!!

everyone has their own flavor, in everything.. so, as the story goes, i am just as clueless as everyone else..

bigjohn

how profound john. i think you may have something there people are actually diferent......hmmm

yea, and some actually like the giants?

bigjohn

that was uncalled for especially from a cowboys fan.

ya know whats ironic did they used to call the cowboys americas team? but they had an espn poll yesterday that said that they were the second most routed against team. behind of course they yankees. btw im from ny but not a yankee fan. im a mets fan i know i should just have someone kick me in the junk instead of watching them. oh yeah but this year is gonna be different.

I always hated how everyone referred to the Cowboys as America's team, they weren't my team. How dare you? Kinda like Uncle Kracker. I just call him Kracker, he aint my uncle...

Independance Day - we have a difficult time connecting different computer systems to exchange data on earth, and they board an alien ship, somehow have the right connector, and manage to hack into the ships systems of a civilization that managed to travel across the galaxy?!?!?!?

....sorry, does not compute.......

yea, and the hacker was jeff goldblum...PAAAHHLEASE!!

bigjohn

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

or

Jack Frost

ugh

^billy

Oh, I could go on and on with a list of 'bad science/technology' in movies. ONe must suspend reality for basically every movie or you're going to be disappointed.

I mean, come on, one spider bite and suddenly you're swinging through Manhattan via sticks strings shooting out your wrists? The web should have been emanating from his anal area. Get it right, people!

OK, you asked for it. (It's a page on bad movie physics.)

Anywho, I forgot to mention Star Wars I and II. For the love of god, George... why? Why?

I take it all back...I have finally remembered the movie I spent so much time trying to forget...

Spaced Invaders

BB- You caught 'em they did not even use real aliens either.lol

The Talented Mr. Ripley

I feel asleep at the theater watching this one. The movie seemed 5 hours long as I kept dozing off and on. I just kept thinking 'God, will it ever end'? Finally, I got up and left. Easily the most boring movie I ever tried to watch.

that's quite humourous Mike. I recall nodding off a few times when watching the Talented Mr. Ripley many moons ago at the ole' drive-in. Needless to say, I didn't bother renting it at a later date to find out what I'd missed.

I wonder what the correlation would be between our "worst movies" list and our spouses "best movies" list ?

Going the other way, it's pretty much a given that our "best movies" are going to figure prominently on other peoples "worst movies" list

I'll play.

In no particular order:

1) Riding in Cars with Boys
2) Top Dog
3) Spice World
4) The Pest
5) The Hours
6) Starship Troopers

There's more...I just can't think of them now. I tend to try and forget the real stinkers.

Yeah, that was dissappointing as well...but I guess they government could not spare any......either that or Best Buy was having a sale that day!!!

lol

Spiff....You're killing me. Starship Troopers? It's got all the makings of a good brainless action flick.....one of those that you can enjoy while not having to think for the entire time.

And Nekidness.... don't forget the Nekidness....