The only life form cashier in the store: 'Sir, you know there are six self-service checkout counters right over there.'

Me looking at the 34 pieces of assorted 1", 3/4" and 1/2" PVC fittings I just plopped down on the register: 'What I really want to do is take one of those cool looking forklifts for a spin around the store [insert smiley face].'

Perplexed cashier: 'Well OK, I'll check you out then.'


I believe I just made my last trip to Home Depot.

I just bought some stuff from them online. It was a very convenient experience for both parties .

Rick, did you know Menards, Lowes and Home Depot gives a military, veteran discount. You have to show an ID or your DD-214.

Rick I'd have to take my DD-214 to a historical document restoration specialist for anybody nowadays to decipher what it is, would probably have to dig it out of the national archives first though.

Yeah, it has to be getting pretty old.

I made a bunch of copies of mine back around 1971.

Give the guy a break, he only served 30 years, so his EOS was a LONG time ago.

I hear ya Rick, I hate self check out. Every F'ing time I try it, I end up having to call someone over to help. I refuse to use them anymore.

Hey! Is that another "old" joke?????

Yeah, it was, I respect all you guys. At 43 I'm starting to feel old. OK, time to start p90x.

When I got out of the Marine Corps one of the first things they told us to do was to take our DD-214s to the county courthouse and have them recorded so not only would there be a copy but it would also be considered an original and much easier to access than going through national records.

I wonder how easy it is to access that stuff at the national level these days.

I can't say that I like these self-checkouts. I can't understand why they have 1 "real" cashier on duty, one watching the self checkout, and 3 other employees engaged in a private conversation in the plumbing aisle while they tell you to use said checkout. One of our (4) local Canadian Tire's that I've had problems with(only this one) had NO cashier on duty at all! you want to buy something you were FORCED to use the self checkout. I've heard several complaints regarding this particular store...usually on returns or price adjustments, add self checkout to the list. I don't mind that it's there, as long as you have a choice to use it or not.

I've never used self checkout. I'm afraid I'll end up looking like an idiot. Usually I'd do what I can to avoid human interaction. This must be one of those exceptions.

I use the self checkout at the local Fry’s grocery story all the time. I usually only get a few things there and it’s always much faster than waiting for a cashier even at the 10 item or less line.

I suppose I buy most non-perishable products online these days, and I shop for groceries late at night, so waits in line are never an issue.

I was going to ask, "What about this site?", but maybe that only counts as sub human contact??

I thought you were all just playful computer viruses.

Yeah, you're taking a big risk meeting us face to face -- in a foreign country, no less!

The girl at the self checkout at Home Depot offered to show me how to use it one day because the only line with a cashier was long. I gave her all my things to ring through; she says "Just put your money in the slot". So I hand her a $20, she puts it in the machine and I hold my hand out to make her give me the change.

If I am paying full price I expect full service.

I want to just sit at one of those self checkout aisles and see what reaction I get. I also want to go into the Gold's Gym that's around the corner, and apply for a membership for the same reason. My family and friends think it would be quite funny .

I've used Wal-mart's self-checkout a lot, but only if I have very few items or if I'm buying a lot of fruit or produce I have to look up. It IS embarrassing when you screw up too. But, some of the time, it's not your fault, but the people waiting behind you look at you like your an idiot anyway.

Also, I could have stolen items before if I wasn't honest. Once, it wouldn't ring up my soda, so I just took it up to the customer service counter to pay for it so I wouldn't keep other people in the line waiting. It surprised me that the automatic register didn't catch it though! Another time, I bought multiples of the same item, and realized I scanned all but one. Again, I went to customer service to pay for it. What's odd is how the customer service people always acted like it was no big deal! They need to make those things more fool proof for both the customer's sake AND the store's!

Check you out, being so honest. I'd do the same thing, but yeah, that would make me think the system was stupid.

The system is stupid. It has absolutely no ability to think. For items where a code has to be keyed in, there is nothing to stop you from keying in the code for a cheaper item, as long as the unit of measure is weight. The system has no idea whether or not you are weighing Shitake musrooms or 'taters.

I use to be a retail security manager and I don’t see any problem with self checkout from a shrinkage standpoint when balanced against added convenience for honest customers.

Many years ago the FBI did a study and determined that for general retail stores in the U.S. a national average of 10% of the customers walking in your door did so with the intent of stealing something. 10% of them wouldn’t steal from you even by accident and the other 80% could go either way depending on circumstances.

For the professional thief self checkout is a non-starter. It’s more closely monitored than the easiest way which is just to walk in pick up what you want and walk out with it. They know that what gets you caught is looking suspicious so if you just act like you own the place no one pays attention to you, unless you’ve given them other visual queues. Also you just can’t get enough value or volume through a self checkout at one time to make it worthwhile.

For the casual thief there are enough deterrents in place to prevent most of them from trying to steal. Most of those deterrents aren’t real as sonicfox’s stories illustrate rather they are primarily psychological and designed to increase the level of apprehension thus deterring the armature.

Even when the honest mistakes and theft via self-checkout are combined they will not be significant compared the other much more prevalent forms of shrinkage when compared to added convenience to customers and lower labour cost.

I’m not sure about anyone else but for me self-checkout lets me shop like I’m at a convenience store, only with a much better selection.

A universal truism

Will they invent a "self return/refund" machine next?

You know, one that argues with you, that says you used the screwdriver as a prybar, so the warranty is void...uhh, not that that's ever happened to me....

I always get snagged for using the pry bar as a screwdriver....

She called my screwdriver a pry bar, too.

You must not be using enough lubricant.

Hmmm... If I stamp my self return to sender for full refund and check myself in, I wonder where I'll end up.

Probably to the same dimension where socks disappear to in dryers.

Do you suppose they show up at the other side clean or dirty? Popping into a dirty sock universe would be, interesting.