Boston's Zoo is doing a fundraiser by selling hand- decorated Xmas ornamnents. They're made from dessicated reindeer dung. I am not lying! They sold $20,000 worth worldwide last year. They refer to them as "jewels" (whiney jewels?)

How many can I put you down for? Just take off the warning label and you could even serve 'em up in a nice, big, festive oval platter. Once.

Did you say offal platter?

What an offal joke. You should be ashamed of yourself.