On Dates and Oil

Posted by: BobKay

On Dates and Oil - 02/23/11 05:20 PM

To our Arab Nation Friends:

Though we've all been excited for you and your little freedom fracasses, it's not about you anymore. Christianne Amanpour has gotten about all the face-time that was warranted.

There are gaslines starting again around here @ the bargain retailers. I know it's only going to get worse.

It's not our fault that we drink gasoline with every meal. Cars are cool! So are planes and trains and boats and delivery trucks and lawnmowers and snowmobiles, hedge trimmers. I could go on and on about the stuff we need that you're starting to screw with. And I haven't even gotten to plastics yet.

So, since we can't afford a condo in Dubai, if you don't stop this crap, then dates are definitely off the menu.

We'll still take your oil, even @ $175 per barrel, but, from now on, I'm wrapping bacon around scallops. Really, what else ya got that we want?

No, I don't heat my home or light my lamps with dung. Those beautiful fabrics? Get 'em knocked off from China. How high are the import tarriffs on virgins? If we can't afford a whole one, we'll just keep buying her hair.
Posted by: St_PatGuy

Re: On Dates and Oil - 02/23/11 07:33 PM

Bob is now our official foreign diplomat!

Um, you get like a coffee mug and stuff.


Who says there are no perks?
Posted by: Ya_basta

Re: On Dates and Oil - 02/23/11 08:03 PM

That's damn funny!
Posted by: Argon

Re: On Dates and Oil - 02/24/11 07:38 AM

Originally Posted By: St_PatGuy
Bob is now our official foreign diplomat!

Um, you get like a coffee mug and stuff.


Who says there are no perks?


I think he is one of those '60s activists? Is "Bob" really his name??
Posted by: St_PatGuy

Re: On Dates and Oil - 02/24/11 07:43 AM

Yeah, like HE'S gonna remember!
Posted by: danmagicman7

Re: On Dates and Oil - 02/24/11 10:44 AM

I feel like every BobKay post is deserving of its own blog.
Posted by: BobKay

Re: On Dates and Oil - 02/24/11 11:39 AM

Originally Posted By: danmagicman7
I feel like every BobKay post is deserving of its own blog.


I am flattered by the word "deserving," even if it reads "deserving of execution." Being raised Catholic, I am deserving of nothing. That's why I wait until it's dark and God's asleep to run out and grab stuff.

Holy Father, I confess to almighty God and to you, Father, that I have done nothing! Back off, or I'm gonna corrupt thousands more.

And thanks for knowing when I'm kidding----which is always, and never.
Posted by: CatBrat

Re: On Dates and Oil - 02/24/11 11:45 AM

I like this saying, along similar vein:

"I asked God for a bike, then I learned that God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."
Posted by: danmagicman7

Re: On Dates and Oil - 02/24/11 12:01 PM

Well, your thread posts are more like blog entries wink Ramblings about life.
Posted by: Argon

Re: On Dates and Oil - 02/24/11 12:19 PM

I think I hear.....thunder?
Posted by: CatBrat

Re: On Dates and Oil - 02/24/11 12:24 PM

Originally Posted By: danmagicman7
Well, your thread posts are more like blog entries wink Ramblings about life.


I always envisioned them more as plots against squeeky toys.