Mark, don't read this.

It's too late for next day delivery from Amazon by this hour, so the rest of you better have a decent excuse for his mailbox being devoid of Happy Birthday surprises tomorrow.

I honestly don't know why he puts up with some of you cheap and thoughtless bastards.

I'm sorry mine won't get there in time, either. I misjudged how long it would take to be fully desiccated.

What are you sending him, dehydrated meats and fruits for the zombie apocalypse?

Home-made rawhide chews for Buddy.