1) People who page you to their extension over the intercom then either are on the phone for 10 minutes or leave their desk.
2) A project manager schedules a meeting today to come up with hardware and software req's for a new customer installation. I do due diligence in estimating needs and coming up with a preliminary BOM and network layout. So time for the meeting comes we're all sitting there and the PM calls from the airport: "Oh, I forgot I was going to Brazil on vacation today. Can you run the meeting?"
3) No, I do not want to spend all day ridding your son's home computer of all the spyware and viruses infesting it. I will do it after hours. For $75/hr.
4) No, I will not spend my time whitelisting all of your friends and relatives email addresses in our enterprise spam filter so you can use your corporate mail account for personal use. I have 30 Gmail invitations left. Want one?
5) "Remember that project I had you work on for 3 months a year ago that I had you scrap halfway through? Turns out we need it finished. By Friday."
6) No, I can't guarantee I can take your iPod apart and replace the battery with the one you bought on eBay and have it actually work. But I'd really like to try.
Oh dear - if you were a girl I'd insist on chocolate, a manicure *and* new shoes to make up for this day!! If you were my husband, I would insist on going to read quietly in my room while you watch The Great Escape with a single-malt scotch and big ole' cigar. And if you were my boss, I'd have an important meeting off site to go to.
Hope it gets better tomorrow!!
In reply to:
If you were my husband, I would insist on going to read quietly in my room while you watch The Great Escape with a single-malt scotch and big ole' cigar.
(with apologies to my wife and Ian)
Marry me!?
No offense to those of you whom work in an office environment, but I could never, ever sit my butt in an office cubicle for 8 hours at a time. Would drive me nuts.
My hat's off to you folks who do, it must take a lot of perseverance and patience.
You're only saying what the rest of use are thinking.
apologies to all concerned....
Luckily I actually have a real office with a door. That way they can't see me pounding my head against my desk. The IT head is also VP-Engineering and a company founder so he leveraged our poor senior admins/network engineers (all 2 of us) some offices. But I did live life on a cube farm at other companies. The trick is to walk around and annoy your co-workers as much as possible.
In reply to:
You're only saying what the rest of use are thinking.
apologies to all concerned....
Yeah! Get in line.
I'm single, so I only have to apologize to Ian.
. On the other hand, I'm OLD, so, I also have to apologize to Amie.
If I read between the lines, that's perhaps a little too much information, Jack....
I have no idea what you are thinking, but I doubt it's what I meant. Mea culpa.
New gripe:
Our receptionist has NEVER had a brand-new computer. NEVER. So when making our budget for this fiscal year (ours is from July 1 to June 30) I pushed to have a nice new machine allocated. 2GB RAM, monster HDD, 19" LCD monitor, DVD burner, etc. So it 's allocated for this month and we get it in and I set her up. She couldn't be happier. I'm out at her desk talking to her and making sure her profile is set up as she wants it and along comes another co-worker. Well he sees that LCD screen and immediately says "why does she get a 19" LCD? She's just the receptionist!" This from a guy who has a 2-month old state-of-the art laptop AND a 17" (equivalent to a 19" CRT) LCD at his desk. So he's running a dual-lcd setup, his laptop LCD and the 17". He actually gets into such a state that he goes to his manager and causes such a ruckus that I get drawn into a meeting with him, his manager, and mine (VP-IS). Well, one thing I learned during my time at Intel is not to take to [censored] from anybody at meetings. So I laid into him like a pit-bull into raw steak. At the end he wasn't very happy with the reaction from his manager. I maybe should have been happy, but the guy is 35 fer chrissakes. Grow the hell up!
As a roving IT guy, that's one of my rules. "Never piss off the receiptionist." Even better, always be cool to the receptionist, and make sure they get taken care of. Because they're the ones who will get stuff done for you.
The other rule? "Never piss off the security guards." That ain't worth it. Jump through their little hoops, and someday you won't have to... preferably when you're hauling a $5000 machine out the door for repairs.
In reply to:
preferably when you're hauling a $5000 machine out the door for repairs.
Or, to throw in the back of your SUV for a later eBay sale.
That's what you really meant, wasn't it?
Well....
Hayell no. Unless I land a "sale" that makes me $60-80K a year+inflation for the rest of my life, ain't gonna catch me doing that.
Our receptionist also handles shipping/receiving and facilitates travel. She always does everything with a smile. On the "never piss off" list: Receptionists, admin. assistants, security guards. Never EVER cross an administrative assistant.
You got that right. Always keep all of those people happy.
When your in business for yourself the bookkeeper or bill payer is also at the top of the list.
I stay far FAR away from our controller's and HR person's offices. Otherwise known as the Portal to the Dark Side. I'm getting chills just writing this.
Gripe#1. Old G3 iMac gave up the ghost last night right after posting on these boards.
Gripe#2. The sales people at most of the electronics stores that know NOTHING about Macs.
Gripe#3. The price of Macs!
Good news: This is my first post from my 1 hour old G5 iMac.
Those iMac G5's are slick looking. And unless you have an Apple Store close by you are usually out of luck with salespeople.
I went to the Apple store first but they were out of stock of this model.
After five stores later (Frys being the very very and I meen very worst) I went to the other apple store about 40 miles away and was out with a new machine in about five minutes.
The thing I like best so far about this iMac is the setup.
All I had to do was plug a fire wire from my old machinr to this new one and it downloaded all my files and even apps into this one. I think I'm already likeing this new "super mouse".
Did you get the newest model with a built-in camera and remote? That one's really cool. And have you hooked it up to your TV yet?
Thats the one (17inch model). How do I hook it up to my TV?
I'm sitting here trying to figure out some of my new goodies. It is fun and frustrating all at once.
Speaking of TVs, I guess I'm typing on what WAS going to be a new wide screen TV. I've been saving a little while for a new TV, but when the old mac gave up last night that $$ got re_earmarked.
I need a computer worse than I need a TV.
You had to go and say it. Fry's. The only good thing about Fry's other than the fact that they have everything you want to look at is the look on the guy's face when you say "Hell No!" when he asks to see your receipt when leaving.
Not many people know that it's within their rights to refuse that receipt check.
also in NY that door buzzer means nothing they can only stop you if they see you take the item.
only at non-membership stores. you don't have a choice at costco, which has membership terms.
Yes indeed at Costco you have to show your receipt. At public stores I think it opens up all sorts of prior restraint and probable cause issues.
"Garçon! A bucket for monsieur."
Put it all in a bucket. And don't skimp on the pate!
COOL!
Every time at Frys, I swear I'll never be back.
Then I go in to look for something at a good price and remember.
Thirty minutes for a price check on something I knew, but none of the employees knew that they even had it in stock.
Does that even make since?
Sorry I'm DRUNK.
It s a rare thing, so enjoy it while you can.
When and if I ever buy anything from them again, I'm going to refuse to show them my reciept on exit.
In reply to:
"....I'm going to refuse to show them my reciept on exit.
Yea you will Bray, you're just like the rest of us!
Hey for a drunk guy you are really holding your own, thought process, grammar, spelling...not too bad!
Heh. I'm surprised your signature didn't "drunkify" itself to something like:
LIFE IS A DICK.
DON'T BE SHORT.
Starring:
Me as Harried SysAdmin
Joe Jack@ss as Clueless Developer
Cool Cucumber as VP-Engineering
(I)
CD: Um, can you look at my Treo? It doesn't work.
HS: What's up?
CD: Well, it won't turn on.
HS: Hmm... battery is charged? Does it work when plugged in?
CD:(staring at feet, making circles with his toe) Uh, no.
HS: Ok, let me take a look (fiddles for a few minutes) hmm... (takes battery out of his Treo and puts it in CD's)Well, looks like it's dead alright. Is there a Verizon store on your way home? Just give them our corporate phone# and they should replace it under warranty. Let me know if you have a problem.
CD: Uh, well, umm, I already went by there and they won't replace it.
HS: What? Why not?
CD: They, uh, they said it got wet.
HS: ?!
CD: There's a dot under the battery that turns red if it get s wet, they said. It's red.
HS: ?!
CD: What?
HS: Did you get it wet?
CD: Well not really.
HS: ?!
CD: Well, I uh, had it in my shirt pocket and leaned over to pick up my bag and it fell into a mud puddle. Huhuh.
HS: And this is when the Treo mysteriously stopped working?
CD: Uh, I guess.
HS: Well, Verizon doesn't offer insurance on those. We'll just have to have you manager authorize a replacement.
CD: He, umm, he'll be pissed off. Don't we have spares?
HS: Just a couple of regular cell phones.
CD: That won't work. You don't have any extra Treo's?
HS: Gee, well let me just look in NO!!!
CD: Uptight Manager is going to be really pissed.
HS: Yup. Replacement is $499 I think.
CD: Can't you just give me yours? Your manager is cooler than mine.
HS: Walk away. Just walk away right now. I'll deal with it.
(II)
(HS relates story to VPE, trying to leave out the worst of CD's jack@ssery.)
VPE: Freaking idiot. OK, replace it out of your monthly discretionary budget. I'll call him in and make him squirm. I'm his boss's boss, after all. Too bad he's such a good programmer. I'm in a firing mood this week. Oh well, this will almost as fun.
Fin
Bravo! Encore!
I'm imagining a movie version with Adam Sandler as CD, Harrison Ford as VPE and, um, how about changing your character a little and getting Charlize Theron as HS?
Uh, just a small change there! I think it would be better served with me as me, Sandler as CD, and Charlize as VPE. Thence we could finish with a steamy scene in her locked office.
I don't have the patience to type it out and make it as funny but as a fellow sys admin type I empathize.
Last week I talked to someone over the phone who swore up and down their computer was dead. Tried to troubleshoot over the phone but they of course swore they had tried it all. So I go down three flights of stairs, over to another buidling and up another three flights...to find her monitor was switched off.
I didn't say a word I just walked in, looked at it for a second, hit the monitor power switch, gave her my patented "YOU ARE A FREAKING MORON" look and walked away.
I find myself channeling the HamBurglar quite often, muttering "rubblerubblerubble" under my breath.
Good call on the casting, Mark. Although I'm not sure you're going to be believable as you.
Keep your eyes on your fries.
LOL!