This valiant effort comes from an ex-stuntman turned singer.

Devo "Whip It"

at the risk of getting it stuck in everyone's head... "It's a Small World"

ANYTHING having to do with the Captain and Tennile, but most especially - "Muskrat Love".

Thanks for nothing Peter.
That make me nauseated.

How about Tony Orlando & Dawn?

Too many to possibly narrow it down to one.

"Whip It" has cult status. That automatically disqualifies it from any worst list.

I'm with you on Whip-It.

However, a part of me hates you for pointing out "America We Stand As one." Part of me hates myself for sitting through the whole thing. Another part of me is considering a stomach pumping bender hoping that I can use that to erase the memory.....

jr

Oh, and Ajax is right. There are sooooo many that it's too much effort to choose just one.

i dont know if i can say "worst-ever", but its gotta be pretty darn close..

that stupid song that was insanly popular at sporting events a few years back, by some european band.. i dont even remember the name of the song.. but the guy says..

ya take a whiskey drink,
ya take a vodka drink,
ya take a cider drink,
etc, etc, ect.
I GET KNOCKED DOWN, BUT I GET UP AGAIN...

that song makes me physically ill when i hear it.

bigjohn

Chumbawamba

My vote
Right Said Fred
"I'm too sexy for"

I'm w/ bray. I HATE Right Said Fred.

Frankie Goes to Hollywood is up there too.

hey, relax man...



bigjohn

How about Flock of Seagulls?

I just ran.... I ran so far away

Peter, if you keep posting stuff like that, I'm going to stop clicking on your links. Swear to God. I'm sending you the bill for my therapy. That was just terrible. Really.

Good call on Flock of Seagulls.

There is a new Lenny Kravitz song that I heard on the radio; it had no redeeming value whatsoever.

"Flock of Seagulls"
They're actually touring. A girl I work with on occasion, said they sounded great.

VH1 has a special on the top 50 worst songs of all time and some of these gems are listed:
1) Billy Ray Cyrus - Achy Breaky Heart
2) Helen Reddy - I Am Woman
3) Sammy Davis Jr. - The Candy Man
4) Captain & Tenille - Do That To Me One More Time & Muskrat Love
5) Debbie Boone - You Light Up My Life (Yuck)
6) Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby
7) Eddie Murphy - Party All The Time
8) Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder - Ebony & Ivory
9) Huey Lewis & The News - The Heart of Rock & Roll
10)Starship - We Built This City
11)Ricky Martin - She Bangs
12)Rick Dees - Disco Dick
Plus these wonders - Macarena & everyone's favorite piece of crap "Who Let The Dogs Out"?

Billy Ray Cyrus is at the top of the list WHERE HE BELONGS!

They left out Clarence Carter's "Strokin'" though.

I admit, however, that I find the song quite funny and will listen to it on occasion.

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6) Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby

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This dude, uh, what his real name? Anyway he is a self proclaimed motocross rider. He showed up at our local track with his 'posse' and brought out the big iron...my son smacked his butt with an RM125!!

Ok...my 'brush' with stardom.

BigJohn,

That is Chumba Wumba, and the song is called tubthumping. They are Austrailian, too, not European. I love being the bearer of useless facts.

I would have to say that this is my new favorite absolutely terrible music video. I had the pleasure of seeing this on MTV when I was staying in London, and didnt stop laughing for hours. God I love Europe.

Call On Me

And Clarence Carter's Strokin' is gospel to everyone in my fraternity. We all go crazy when we play it at events and we all know the words. Most of the girls who know us know to move off the dancefloor because they will be trampeled, unfortunately, the new girls arent so lucky.

"When I start making love, I dont just make love, I be Strokin'"

Tom, Peter still hasn't topped himself. Remember when he brought us this?

Oh, the Herve Villechaize song from that site is classic.

I can't beleive that this didn't make the list - come on, sing it with me!

First, when there's nothing,
But a slow glowing dream
That your fear seems to hide, deep inside
Your mind

All alone I have cried
Silent tears full of pride
In a world made of steel
Made of stone

When I hear the music
Close my eyes
Feel the rhythm
Wrap around
Take a hold of my heart

* What a feeling
Being's believing
I can have it all
Now I'm dancing for my life
Take your passion
And make it happen
Pictures come alive
You can dance right through your life

Now I hear the music
Close my eyes
I am rhythm
In a flash it takes hold of my heart

* Repeat

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everyone's favorite piece of crap "Who Let The Dogs Out"?

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it's funny you mention that. apparently the dude who came up with the lyrics for THAT musical turd is writing comic books and i saw an ad for it where he was basically profusely apologizing for unleashing it on the world. the comic didn't look too bad either, so i guess he managed to cancel his reservation in hell after all!

You're a sadistic man, Peter. That was wrong. So very, VERY wrong. I feel psychologically damaged from the brief exposure I had to that...that....thing. Think of the deep emotional scars those poor kids who actually had to star in this travesty must have!

Peter, seriously, how do you find stuff like that? I can't believe I waited for it to download. . .

I'm going to go wash my laptop.

Thanks alot.

No need to wash the laptop. Just poke needles through the speaker grilles.

ARE YOU KIDDING???? That album is amazing! We couldn't play caps on warm summer nights without a warm up round to "Deeply Dippy". I'm totally blown away by the anti Right-Said sentiments!

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6) Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby, what his real name?

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after watching 'the sureal life' series on VH1, i am proud to say that i actually know his full, real name. it is(and this is no joke), robert van winkle. i kid you not!

no wonder he went by ice ice baby. and apparently he is into ALL kinds of motorsports. not only is he racing BMX, he also does jet skis, snow-mobiles, and street bikes. i guess he just gots the fever for it?

oh, and i thought of another bad song. 'dont worry, be happy' from bobby mcferrin. the whistle while you work song. i think it was 1988. still have nightmares. and then he made it worse by getting that coked up hairball robin williams, to jump around in his video. UGH... excuse me, i need to go spit.

bigjohn

Maccarena - no contest

That has got to be the greatest music video of all time!!! I have to admit that I did like tub thumping. Sorry, gang.

I agree all listed above are truly bad...but I offer this as "The King of Bad Music Videos"...

Try This

WhatFurrer

I dont know where you found that, but I REALLY REALLY wished you hadnt.

WhatFurrer

Talk about a pop-culture head-on collision!

Unfortunately, that song is going to be stuck in my head all day.

MmmmBop, or whatever, by Hanson. One of the worst songs AND videos of all time.

Agreed.

Damn it all to Peter for making these horrible memories return.

OK, here's my payback. Safety Dance by Men w/o Hats. That horrible keyboard will be bleeping in your head ALL DAY LONG.

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Safety Dance by Men w/o Hats

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worst song?? you really think so??

man, i cant help but laugh everytime i hear that song. i had an old friend that would do this 'funky' dance to this song, and the thought of watching him is enough to make me love this song.

i respectivly disgaree with you..

we can dance if we want to,
we can leave your friends behind,
'cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
well there, no friends of mine..

bigjohn

you forgot the "doot doot, deet deet, doot doot, doot deet doot deet" part.

gee thanks, now that melody (if you can call it that) will be stuck in my head for the next few days...

>>Safety Dance by Men w/o Hats

I'm with bigjohn on this. The song is great, although the video seems all wrong for the song.

I actually have a copy of "Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats on vinyl.

I also have the theme from "Doctor Detroit" performed by Devo...

Strange what you end up with when you work at a radio station years ago...

No more comments on the Leonard Nimoy video?...

I had an additional one come to mind..."Everybody Have Fun Tonight..." by Wang Chung...All those guys heads and faces whipping back and forth and changing sizes is just obnoxious...

WhatFurrer

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No more comments on the Leonard Nimoy video?...

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I think everyone's pretty much speechless. It's that "watching a trainwreck" thing...

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I think everyone's pretty much speechless. It's that "watching a trainwreck" thing...

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That's what I thought...just interested...some may have never seen it before.

WhatFurrer

this may sound naive or just stupid but is that really leonrd nemoy?

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this may sound naive or just stupid but is that really leonrd nemoy?

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Mr. Spock himself (sans pointed ears)...from the 60's.

The networks thought the public wanted popular stars to sing...Leonard Nimoy's version of "Ruby, Don't Take Your Love to Town" is actually pretty good in a warped kind of way...

Check this out.

If you want something truly, truly, truly BAD, do a search for William Shatner audio. His rendition of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" is beyond description.

WhatFurrer

Ok I admit it, the other night when my wife took the kids to the mall, I had my M60's and EP350 cranked up just a bit. While I was scanning my various FM presets in Direct Mode, I came across a channel that was playing 80's stuff.

The song "Funky Town" sounded pretty awesome, so I had to break out my leasure suit

Dang these speakers make everything sound awesome.

Now THAT song sucks!

Gotta make a move to a
Town that's right for me
Town to keep me movin'
Keep me groovin' with some energy

Well, I talk about it
Talk about it
Talk about it
Talk about it
Talk about, Talk about
Talk about movin

Gotta move on
Gotta move on
Gotta move on

Won't you take me to
Funkytown

When I was in high school, a song was played continuously on the radio which I just hated. It was everywhere and it made me cringe each and evertime I heard it. It was called "I Can See Clearly Now." I think the artist's name was Johnny Nash. It probably killed music on AM radio.

I love the Holly Cole version of I can See Clearly Now

Randy,
Is your evil twin "Larry Leisure Suit"?

Do you mean "Leasure Suit Larry"? When those games first came out in the late 80's I mastered most of them. I really liked the one where he went on the Dating Game, and the hot chick didn't want to go with him, so she sent her mom. Once they got to the honey moon suite, she tied him up with chains and whipped him. Those were the days of real games

Actually I'm a little to young to have ever owned a Leasure Suit, but I had a few friends that were 3-4 yrs older that had some and still go to the ValAir Ballroom in Des Moines when they have functions....Tesla will be there soon, may have to go to that...

Holly Cole could even make most of Chicago's songs sound good.

Since we already had a horrible video featuring an original Star Trek cast member, I wanted to throw another one out there.

Here is William Shatner recreating the final scene of the movie "Seven". He plays all the characters, and it's pretty funny.

(and there is some bad music in there at the end.)

I'd have to say almost anything by Lynyrd Skynyrd should be near the top of the list. Sorry, just my opinion. Anyone else care to tear apart another "classic" artist? C'mon. It might be interesting. Heck, it could even be fun.

Grandpa pissed his pants again
He don't give a damn
Brother Billy has both guns drawn
He ain't been right since Viet Nam
"Sweet Home Alabama"
Play that dead band's song
Turn those speakers up full blast
Play it all night long
Daddy's doing Sister Sally
Grandma's dying of cancer now
The cattle all have brucellosis
We'll get through somehow
"Sweet Home Alabama"
Play that dead band's song
Turn those speakers up full blast
Play it all night long
I'm going down to the Dew Drop Inn
See if I can drink enough
There ain't much to country living
Sweat, piss, jizz and blood
"Sweet Home Alabama"
Play that dead band's song
Turn those speakers up full blast
Play it all night long

Any enthusiasts for "Sittin' in lala, waitin' for my yaya"?

Most here would probably hate Retching Red's cover of the Butt Trumpet's "I've Been So Mad Lately".

MP3 here. (NOT WORK SAFE! It's pretty much a Tourette's attack set to music!)
Lyrics to the original here.

I happen to like Cinder Block's (female lead singer) last band, Tilt. Retching Red is quite a bit more aggressive.

Bren R.

I enjoy the song "Lala", although I don't consider it Lee Dorsey's finest song (it's not as silly and repetitive as Oliver Morgan's "Who Shot the Lala?"). It does represent the heyday of New Orleans R&B and displays Alan Toussaint's musical and production influence.

I also like "I Can See Clearly Now" by Johnny Nash -- one of the few reggae hits. The only other one I can think of is the one by Desmond Dekker.

Among popular artists, any song by Queen incites my gag reflex. I'd include Billy Joel, the Bee Gees and Duran Duran as popular artists that have created unlistenable bodies of work. Of course Billy Joel, the Bee Gees and Queen are all in the Rock and Roll hall of fame, so what do I know?

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I'd include Billy Joel

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i like his music, or at least most of it before 'uptown girl'. i think once he mnarried christy, he got a bighead, and i havent cared for much he has made from then on.

but, i cant help but get a laugh when people mention him, cause i get this mental image of him spilling his bottle of vodka, and driving his mercedes into a tree. it just cracks me up. SNL does a reoccuring skit with horatio sanz as billy, and it just makes me bust out laughing.

bigjohn

i like billy joels music him not so much. but i went and saw a billy joel coverband at this place called pure country (they had a mechanical bull and everthing) in CT they were awesome if you closed your eyes you would have thought it was billy joel. $15 cover for a cover band is a little pricey though now matter how good. also they have a quote from billy on there web site where he said when he heard them he thought it was himself. then again he is a drunk so maybe thats not that impressive a statement. lol
Jake

Oh, come now! "Fat Bottom Girls" is a classic!

That Retching Red cover could be quite dangerous if you listened to it while driving in bad traffic.

Peter... makes you wonder what pissed Cinder off so bad, she used to sound like this MP3 when she was in Tilt.

Bren R.

My vote goes to "Crazy for You" by Madonna. What a piece of total doodoo.
BTW, Peter, that 7 thing is really painful on HD570s. What's the high pitched noise?!

Anything Bjork.

Totally disagree. I don't really like most of what Bjork has recorded, but she has quite a few amazing tracks. I included one on my Axiom mix CD. I'll make sure not to send one to you.

Without seeing if this has already been posted ...

1. Muskrat Love by The Captain and Tenile (sp?)
2. See above

Peter, where on earth to you find this stuff?

LOVE it!

America did a version of that song that I kinda like.

lol well - some of her songs are good, and her voice is really quite impressive but she just creeps me out for some reason, like that fat soccer goalie kid in that kids movie Big Green, i just want to punch him in the face

i used to have a 'sugarcubes' album in 1989, which had a very young bjork as the lead singer. i think she was in her late teens at that time.. anyway, i got the album as a promotional deal from the record shop i went to alot. the only thing i remember about the album covwer is that it was a lime green color. i honeslty thought the album sounded like like crap, so i gave it to a female friend of mine who was into weird, techno kinda stuff. her name was jay... i havent talked to her in over 14 years..... i wonder if she still has my damn record!!!

bigjohn

What about the Adam Ant video, I used to think the babe in that video was hot though. What can I say it was the early eighties and I was still young!

And what was the first video MTV played....'Video Killed The Radio Star', or something like that, holy crap!

>>'Video Killed The Rado Star', or something like that, holy crap!

Ah yes, the Buggles. "The Age of Plastic". There were some good songs on that album, it was mostly the one that got all the airplay I didn't like. Later the same guys pretty much took over "Yes". Trivia note -- Trevor Horn (1/2 of the Buggles) seems to write about 1/3 of the movie sound tracks I see these days...

Actually John....come to think of it, at least they were (IMO) by far and much better than the crap MTV does now days!

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i used to have a 'sugarcubes' album in 1989, which had a very young bjork as the lead singer.

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The album is "Life's Too Good" and there was one notable song on it... "Motorcrash."... the video had the band members driving 60s/70s muscle cars. Definately not easy listening, but the first (and last thing) I could listen to by her.

Bren R.

I almost hate to revive this thread, but I have to give Peter his due for being a full three weeks ahead of Mark Morford's diatribe on the same subject. I don't always agree with Morford, but I think his writing is brilliant.

Thanks for that... I think. My favorite line was

"Just for a moment. I want to live the naivete, swim in tepid pools of happy blissful ignorance, regrow my hair past my shoulders and love my country so blindly and unquestioningly that everyone and everything becomes sweet and sticky and warm, like giant mealworms of love."

OH, NO! You didn't have to do that. I liked 'Video killed the radio star.' I used to spend hours watching JJ Jackson(RIP), back in the day. Next, you'll tell me you didn't like Mr. Roboto. The musical genre I could live without is what my teenage son listens to all the time, I call it rock rap. Stuff like Korn, Disturbed, etc. I've learned to live with it though, but it does bother me a little when I hear it polluting my m22s.

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I call it rock rap

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which creatively abbreviates to ck'rap

Yup, and it's worse in concert... What the hell posessed Metallica to tour with those punks, I'll never know.

OK, I will.

$$$

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which creatively abbreviates to ck'rap

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pure genius right there, folks.