Yup,....just re-read this entire thread, and can safely say:
You are not alone!!
Anyone who has their speakers too close together(but some can't move them)and finds(when Momma's not watching)that moving the listening chair closer to the speakers helps bunches!
Those who use EQ(and sometimes even the dreaded "tone Control")to make things better!
And those who find that sending bass to both the sub and the mains gives that "punchy bass" between 60 and 80HZ that's missing otherwise!
I get that satisfying "WHAM" that's localized up front, but with the sub located in the back when the system's set this way! The attack and sustain must go to the fronts only in these situations, and the bulk of the low tones to the sub in the back of the room, but the overall sound is well integrated and just about perfect!
So yup, for those of us without the ideal listening room architecture, with the wrong furnishings or floor coverings, without optimum speaker placement, or maybe even the "wrong" speakers; well,...the audio Gods have seen fit to give us those audiophile taboos: those tone and EQ controls; to at least get us out of sonic purgatory and a bit closer to....
Some folks may ask: "But now, you don't have an accurate reprentation of the input signal, how do you live with that?"
What works for me is to go from my current set-up to "Direct" mode and take a listen to the unaltered sound from the receiver. Now, until my ears get used to it, it sounds thin and unappetizing. Then, when I almost forget that I'm listening to this sound, I go back to "stereo" mode and get snacked with the modified audio. If it sounds too artificial, I can bring it back toward the "direct" signature. I've gone thru this cycle a number of times over the last few weeks and months until; like Goldilocks: It's "just right"