Yeah, I think I'm going to have to go for a totally different approach, but it may take a while to get there mentally.
No better time like now to start preparing so I’ll toss out (reiterate what others have already said) some ideas.
Women (people in general) are drawn to confidence. As you’ve seen they often confuse cockiness/arrogance with confidence but will usually take that over timid-ness any day…especially a branch in the hand (the monkey analogy). So as we said in the Corps “Exude Supreme Confidence” (also intimidates the crap out of the enemy).
How does that apply to your situation? Don’t wait to ask a girl you like out. Do it soon after you meet her as is prudent and do it yourself not indirectly. Waiting shows indecisiveness and lack of confidence and the longer you wait and get to know her as “friends” the more awkward your asking may be. Besides, with rare exception women know if you have the “right stuff” as soon as they meet you so the longer you wait the less your chances.
Stuff it if she has a boyfriend, ask anyway…what could be more confident. Plus now she knows your interested. Also, if the girl is that great you’re not likely to be the only one pining after her, but you may have been the only one with the guts to approach her. The boyfriend can also be your advantage if you’re worried about getting turned down because it gives both you and her a face saving way to back down while still getting your message across.
I need JP to put me under hypnosis.
Do what it takes to boost your self image. Working out is great.
Erase that one hobby in your profile and stop doing it. Self deprecation can be charming if you’re exuding underlying confidence otherwise it shows weakness.
Nothing breeds confidence like success. Set small goals and then exceed them. Again, exercise is great for this.
Do a self assessment of what you like to do and are good at. See if there is a way to mix those things with meeting people. You’re more likely to feel confident when doing things your comfortable with.
If you’re not good at it start getting out with groups and mingling/talking. The “gift of gab” will get you more dates than the best looks in the world. I’ve had two friends, one looked like the “Crypt Keeper” the other like “Alfred E. Neuman” but both had the gift of gab and had girls falling all over them. Get better at conversing by doing more of it.
Too bad he only prescribes medications!
Self medicate. Short intense workouts build testosterone which in turn acts like an aphrodisiac by boosting confidence and aggressiveness/assertiveness. Meditation is also a powerful tool for some people to fine tune their minds. I meditate daily usually many times especially while running.
Short of an epiphany you aren’t going to fundamentally change who you are Charles, but by building on your strengths while improving and or mitigating your weaknesses you can surely improve your batting average. I mostly rehashed what others already said but thought I’d restate some highlights and how you might use them to change direction 350 degrees this time.
Once your swing improves you can start looking at how to get more at bats.