Axiom Home Page Forums General Discussion The Water Cooler The Collaire Report

Yeah, I think I'm going to have to go for a totally different approach, but it may take a while to get there mentally. I need JP to put me under hypnosis. Too bad he only prescribes medications!

No, when JP visited me I saw a copy of "Jedi Mind Tricks for Dummies" in his briefcase. It's sorta like hypnosis, only WAY cooler!

No better time like now to start preparing so I’ll toss out (reiterate what others have already said) some ideas.

Women (people in general) are drawn to confidence. As you’ve seen they often confuse cockiness/arrogance with confidence but will usually take that over timid-ness any day…especially a branch in the hand (the monkey analogy). So as we said in the Corps “Exude Supreme Confidence” (also intimidates the crap out of the enemy).

How does that apply to your situation? Don’t wait to ask a girl you like out. Do it soon after you meet her as is prudent and do it yourself not indirectly. Waiting shows indecisiveness and lack of confidence and the longer you wait and get to know her as “friends” the more awkward your asking may be. Besides, with rare exception women know if you have the “right stuff” as soon as they meet you so the longer you wait the less your chances.

Stuff it if she has a boyfriend, ask anyway…what could be more confident. Plus now she knows your interested. Also, if the girl is that great you’re not likely to be the only one pining after her, but you may have been the only one with the guts to approach her. The boyfriend can also be your advantage if you’re worried about getting turned down because it gives both you and her a face saving way to back down while still getting your message across.


Do what it takes to boost your self image. Working out is great.

Erase that one hobby in your profile and stop doing it. Self deprecation can be charming if you’re exuding underlying confidence otherwise it shows weakness.

Nothing breeds confidence like success. Set small goals and then exceed them. Again, exercise is great for this.

Do a self assessment of what you like to do and are good at. See if there is a way to mix those things with meeting people. You’re more likely to feel confident when doing things your comfortable with.

If you’re not good at it start getting out with groups and mingling/talking. The “gift of gab” will get you more dates than the best looks in the world. I’ve had two friends, one looked like the “Crypt Keeper” the other like “Alfred E. Neuman” but both had the gift of gab and had girls falling all over them. Get better at conversing by doing more of it.


Self medicate. Short intense workouts build testosterone which in turn acts like an aphrodisiac by boosting confidence and aggressiveness/assertiveness. Meditation is also a powerful tool for some people to fine tune their minds. I meditate daily usually many times especially while running.

Short of an epiphany you aren’t going to fundamentally change who you are Charles, but by building on your strengths while improving and or mitigating your weaknesses you can surely improve your batting average. I mostly rehashed what others already said but thought I’d restate some highlights and how you might use them to change direction 350 degrees this time.

Once your swing improves you can start looking at how to get more at bats.

Those are all great ideas. I'm not so sure about swinging bats at women, but I see what you're saying. At this point, though, I don't really feel like working on myself on the off-chance someone else might appreciate it. It seems a little ridiculous to want to win over a woman who is dazzled by the confidence of morons. If that's what they respond to, then there are plenty of dudes out there to accommodate them. Maybe this will result in an eternally isolated existence. That's fine. I'd like to emphasize that I do appreciate your thoughtful suggestions. I have no doubt they'd lead to companionship and a happier me. I simply don't want to pretend I'm going to follow them when I'm really not wanting to throw myself back into the game.

You’re right that you shouldn’t work on yourself for others but rather for you, and if it’s not what you what right now I respect that. I’m purposely not looking to date right now because I like being single and unattached and plan to stay that way at least until I retire. There’s just not enough time in the day for me to work, do all the things I want to do, and have a relationship. Ah, but when I retire it’s back to university for me. My experience is that many young women do like older men (probability and upper limit to that but I’m willing to push the envelope). Should you choose to enter the fray again good luck and good hunting.

Speaking of "confidence" verses "over-zealousness," every time I hear the word "fray" I can't help but think of this guy charging in to a battle only to 'accidentally' kill everyone on both sides. Upon seeing any skirmish, his battle cry was "A Fray!!!"
One of many comic collections I wish I still had.

I liked Groo too!

Didn't Sergio Aragones do little drawings in the margins of Mad magazine?

Yup, it was my recognition of his name as the guy who did those tiny little cartoons that made me buy the first Groo comic. They were both hilarious.

To the tune of "She'll be comin' 'round the mountain"

If you're in a bad position,
Call for Groo.
He will join your opposition,
Call for Groo!
If a slow death is your worry,
Call for Groo in a hurry.
He will kill them all for you.
Call for Groo!

That was actually published in one of the comics, I still remember it after all this time.

Bren R.

Finally Bren, you bring back a memory from my early teens that doesn't involve ruining my occasional habit of listening to a classic metal bands by posting pictures of how ridiculous they actually looked. Thanks for the chuckle!