Huh. I thought these were your own.

Sorry, not my own. I've kineefered them.

Very good!

OK. So it's just me and the dog until Saturday afternoon and I'm causing cochlear damage with the new remaster of the first Hendrix album right now. I'm a newbie, so I'm not gonna go through 45 pages of this thread to see if this is cool. Sorry, Amie.

The postman is on his last day after delivering the same route for 30 years.

He arrives at Mrs. Oakbury's house mid morning. She's waiting at the front door. She invites him in and seats him at the kitchen table for a "treat." She serves him "scratch" everything---ham, bacon, eggs, pancakes, muffins (2 kinds!), Kenyan coffee---the works.

He tells her that the other neighbors had given him little gifts, but this was really over the top. "Wait, there's more," she said. "Follow me."

She leads him upstairs to the bedroom and throws him the best roll-around he's ever had. "Whew, that was amazing," he said. "There's still more," she replied, as she got up, went to her handbag on the dresser, pulled out a dollar and handed it to him.

"What's this for?" he asked. "Well," she said, "I told my husband this morning that everyone in the neighborhood was getting you a gift. What should I do? He said, 'Fuck him, give him a buck.' But the breakfast was my idea!"

That's great!

CatBrat:Am fond of your graphic. Always been interested in self-immolation, ever since the age of 13 when a cab driver in my city did it on the State House steps----successfully!

A joke for today. (So many people greet this with a blank stare when verbally told, so I'll see what happens here.)

A Taiwanese national is on his first vacation trip to NYC. He's been there for a few days now and he feels somewhat confident that he's getting a read on the people, the lingo and the place.

He's at 42nd Street & Fifth after visiting the NY Public Library.

He wants to get to his next destination, but need directions.

Spotting a cab stand, he leans into an open passenger window and queries the driver, "Ahhhh, you tew me how-a get to Empiyah State Biwding, or shoul' I jus' go fuck-a mysewf right now!?!?"

This isn't exactly a joke, but...

My daughter has an American-born Vietnamese friend in some of her classes at High School. He does NOT have an asian accent of any kind.

His name is Billy Lam.

He refers to himself in the third-person as "Beery Ram".