And that could be pale, indeed! (We've never met, but I'm gonna stick my neck out here and assume you are very, very white.)
Oh, it's worse--I'm Swedish AND Irish. So, I'm pretty much a milky translucent version of white, prone to spontaneously combust when I am in the sun. That is, when I'm not wearing my specially designed NASA suit outside.
So, if no SPF is high enough to protect you, what do you use in Phoenix, asphaltum? Oh, now I know what that coatrack is really for--parasols!
Rejoice! SquareBobGodPants is born! Bring the heralds, angels, trumpets, barnyard animals, etc.