As JP previously reported, the Tuttles and the Medic8rs got together for a few days of fun in Oregon. We had a great time.
JP, Gail and Nolan are gracious, friendly and smart. We were extremely blessed to share some fun with them, and I would gratefully have them as companions any time.
Now, I need to clear something up right away. There has been rampant, lukewarm speculation as to what "JP" actually stands for, if anything. I’m here to tell you that – while partaking of delicious IPA’s, Stouts and Barleywines, JP finally divulged the secret to me.
The JP doesn’t stand for anything. Despite his rich Southern upbringing, his parents named him after beloved Northwest children’s television icon
JP Patches, to whom I think you’ll agree he bears a striking resemblance.
Now, I know many of you – and even JP – will dispute the veracity of this claim. There is an additional piece of compelling evidence. The JP in JP Patches actually stands for "Julius Pierpont". Well, our Medic8r’s ensuing education brought him the honorable title of "Doctor", making him, effectively, Dr. J.
Now most of you already know that the NBA hall-of-fame Dr. J’s real first name IS JULIUS. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
Despite this airtight explanation, some of you may very well submit that a common "J name" like John is far more likely. This is obviously impossible, as that would have made medic8r
Dr. John.
Now, despite the (again) eerie resemblance, I must point out that this wonderful jazz musician’s REAL name is Mac Rebennack. Hence, he cannot be JP. Simple logic.
Now that I’ve blown the lid off the mystery of our staff shrink’s enigmatic
nom de plume, I can divulge my important learnings from our trip together.
- It’s fun to meet new friends. God put us here for each other.
- Gail and JP met while she was conducting psychological testing. Feel free to speculate.
- Don’t under-dose
- It’s more fun to go to the zoo with a two-year-old
- Treasure your friends
- On the beach, you have to work too hard to bury a 10 year old boy deep enough to matter.
- The Ocean is spiritually rejuvenating.
- Kids generally like each other
- Beer is good food.
- Killed by Pirates is Good.
- My wife remains a truly gifted card player
- Go ahead and put some sunscreen on your feet.
- No matter how hard you try, it is impossible to look like a cool gangsta when you’re sitting on a cement hippopotamus.
Here are some places we had fun:
The Oregon Zoo in Portland. If you ever need a stuffed animal of something obscure, they probably have it. Only place I've ever seen a Naked Mole Rat plush.
Henry’s 12th Street Tavern. 100 beers on draught, good food, downtown Portland, historic building. THAT'S what I'm talking about!
The Tillamook Cheese Factory tour. Wherein they give you samples of tasty cheese (REALLY good aged white cheddar) and you buy ice cream. They have 50 million pounds of cheese on site capacity.
Pelican Brewpub. On the beach in Pacific City, adjacent to Cape Kiwanda state park. Could be the best IPA in the world. Seriously. All you Dogfish Headophiles just simmer down, now.
McMenamins. The one in Lincoln City isn't as spectacular as others in the empire, but that is some good food and beer. Go.
JP, there are a couple things I forgot to mention that I wanted to make sure you knew. First, I own other clothes besides T-shirts and shorts; I just didn’t feel like dressing up for you. Second, Budweiser contains loads of rice (adjuncts) and will rot your brain. Life is too short for bad beer.
I’m proposing an Axiom gathering on the Oregon coast next August. Anybody in?
Thanks again to JP and family for sharing this time with us.
