My wife called me on her way home from a doctor appointment yesterday to tell me the baby was "making his way downward" (to put it un-medically) and could be out as soon as next week! I got pretty excited, then I said:

"Wait, are you calling me from a cell phone while you're driving?! You know you shouldn't do that (self-censored '...in your condition.')"

So she replied:

"Relax, I just parked. And besides, I wanted to catch you before you headed to the gym."

Sheesh.