Thanks for all the input! got it up and running! much easier with the Harmony (once it's programmed)...
I know you won't believe it but it wasn't me... I actually WAS doing it properly but every time I would go back to it, it would only show "system options" on the remote... googled and found out that there's an issue with the battery being loose and losing contact in some remotes... That's what the problem was with mine, fixed it with a piece of paper and it's been working like a charm ever since!
As for the denon... love the machine, HATE the manual!! lol