Axiom Home Page Forums General Discussion The Water Cooler what to look for in an engagement ring?

I would say don't buy a big diamond that is poor quality. Better to get a smaller one that is better quality. When it comes to clarity, you'll see a price difference between some of the grades and you'll see where you fit in.

As far as cut goes, that can make a ring look bigger. If you look at two rings and one is a little smaller than the other but is a better cut, it can appear to be the bigger of the two.

lots of great advice here, thanks!

I already plan on taking my girlfriend around to look at some rings... Probably will be at least a few months until I buy anything though.

Now I just need a great big huge box with pictures of some really expensive electronics on the side...

Then I can let her unbox my new 'toy' only to find an engagement ring!

of course I then get to pull the electronics that really came in the box out of the closet and hook them up

Quite serious discussion for our little forum!

This is a tricky one. You will find a lot of people, and almost every jeweler, following the drumbeat of DeBeers when it comes to diamonds. Two-months salary, a diamond is forever, etc, etc. You can certainly do your own research on countless sites about how all of those work. Yes, there are very real differences between lower grade and higher grade stones. Spend some time and look at them. Ask the jeweler to demonstrate the differences in the 4C's to you. Understand the difference between the flaws.

Hopefully this ring will mean something to her for a lifetime, and might even be passed down to your children. When you think of it that way, you want to get something nice. But at the same time, I've known people that spent many thousands on a ring that they really couldn't afford at all. A guy I used to work with had divorced after a couple of years and was still making payments on the engagement ring. Talk about an insult. As in most things, strive for balance.

In the end though, love is love. If you love her and she loves you, the size of the diamond doesn't matter. She will love that 15-point diamond chip just as much as that 4-carat rock. Some women might not care at all about the ring. It just depends. And if she's the kind of person that the size of the rock is all that matters, well...all I will say is good luck.

My best advice would be to get friendly with a jeweler. It has been my experience that all precious stones have tremendous markups on the prices. DeBeers really does hold a monopoly on the diamond market and they are far worse than OPEC at controlling supplies and prices. It is a bit of a cartel. Absolutely negotiate. It's been my experience that I usually get anywhere from 25-50% off the 'sticker' price of a piece just by negotiating. The higher the price the more room for negotiating. Especially these days with the economy in a slump. But this is a lot harder to do if your significant other is standing there oogling over a specific diamond or ring.

Personally I had gone ring shopping with my future wife before hand, though we didn't actually buy anything. You've got to know what sorts of cuts she likes: solitaires, princess cuts, pears, etc. That does make a difference. I returned some weeks later to buy one of the settings & stone she liked and did the whole one-knee-cliche proposal a few days after that. It was a modestly priced ring. Basically all I could reasonably afford at the time. Even though now I could do a lot better on the ring, my wife doesn't want to upgrade it because it's too sentimental. She's still happy and that's all that matters to me.

Best of luck with it, and seriously, congratulations!

Oh, one more thing... If you think she'll want a 'traditional' kind of wedding, prepare thyself. You might want to start learning about the differences between 'cream' and 'ivory' right now.Get to Work! You will be tested.

After the engagement comes the wedding. And believe me, you will be asked very important questions as to which colors,patterns, or styles your prefer. Quesitons so significant that your very life may hang in the balance. In the words of the Knight Templar in Indiana Jones And the Last Crusade, 'choose wisely'. As a married man who went through many months of gift registering, dinner menus, flower choices, seating arrangements, "Whatever you want is fine," is not always an acceptable answer. Also start researching china patterns, silverware, napkins, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc.

Agreed with much of what was said, if you have a Diamond mart of some type in you area that has loose stones that may be your best bet, then just find the right setting.I found them to be much more reasonable than the big box jewelry stores.
My wife's setting is platinum which is much more durable and easier to keep shiny than my white gold band although the cost is about double.
We also both went with comfort rings (the sides of our rings are rounded not flat) Much easier to get on and off when the inevitable weight gain starts to come into play.
I agree that certified is a must, get the most you can afford in clarity and color as that what makes the diamond sparkle.
Last couple points, this ring at sometime could end up being a family heirloom that gets passed to you son or daughter.
And probably the most important thing is your girlfriend is going to be holding out this ring to all her friends and family for at least a year, so you need to look like you did the right thing.

I'm late to the party, but I have a word or two to add.

Of course, what you give her is an expression of your love for her, and she'll see it and know that, every day. So don't cheap out. On the other hand, no need to overdo it - as others have said, you can get better enjoyment out of your money in other ways, like trips.

Think of it in terms of purchasing speakers, where you want to find the sweet spot in terms of value. You could spend $200 on a pair of towers at Best Buy and save money, or you could spend tens of thousands on high-end speakers and get ultimate performance, but Axioms hit the sweet spot where you get almost all that performance for a fraction of the cost. You can get the similar results out of most purchases, including cars, washing machines (how's it going, mdrew?), and diamonds.

Make sure you don't get suckered into paying the retail amount on one of those diamond certifications or grading reports. Those can be helpful - see here - but the suggested retail value (SRV) isn't what you should pay. Most places I've seen, for the range of diamonds I looked at, offer prices about half of that SRV.

Good luck, and congratulations!

Hey, everyone, look quick before he fixes it! It's a serious post from Doc!

...as if buying an engagement ring is not frightening enough you went on to point out wedding pitfalls?? now that's just mean :-) just kidding... very appropriate bits of wisdom.

somebody drank the Kool-aid

Yeah, better than the cynical side of me saying, "OK, get ready to blow your hard-earned money on a speck of rock ..."

Another unspoken truth is that engagement rings and wedding bands serve as "Back off!" symbols to other men. It's not a foolproof system, of course, but it helps. It lets my wife walk out in public without having to carry a big stick to beat back the hordes of men ...