Axiom Home Page Forums General Discussion The Water Cooler Dear Canada

Is back from vacation and moved over to the boards.

So many impressions to "share," that he didn't want to impose on the shout box days on end to cover the gargantuan nature of this story.

And, boy, are you guys ever gonna be sorry border SS had the imprudence to allow me into to your lovely land. (There should be an emoticon there, but am I hereby rebuking them. If you don't know by now when I'm kidding, then a dozen sheets of JP's script pad won't help you get over yourself.)

DC: There's a drugstore in the little town of Onapogostick, Ontario (I may be spelling that incorrectly) named "Aikenhead's". Why didn't I think of that?

DC: There's a mall outside of Montreal whose huge hgwy sign reads "Centre St. Laurens Centre."
Take that straight to the Department of Redundancy Department.

DC: There were many roadside oppportunities in Quebec for me to purchase my new Stihl. However, apparently, they carried only women's chainsaw models. I wasn't looking for a "petit moteur."

DC: In Montreal I saw a mint AMC AMX on the road. It wasn't 1/3rd each red, white, and blue, but it was tri-colored. (I SHOULD put an emotican here, just to FYU.)

DC: In the future, do not allow Neopolitans to design your road systems. I would have felt safer pedalling a tricylce around and around the Colliseum during Roman rush-hour.

DC: It may be trans-continental, but it ain't no "highway." Let me help. Highways don't have stop signs or traffic lights. They don't pass through the center of 150 year old hamlets on two lanes w/ speed limits slower than I can run after chiansmoking 2 packs of ciggies. Nice little towns, though.

DC: Due to your speed limits, I guess you don't mind a trip to the supermarket to get home with curdled milk, brown meat and liquid ice cream.

DC: A decision to pass another vehicle should not demand a preclusive deathwish in a head-on collision. Especially not on a "h-i-g-h-w-a-y."

DC: And finally, is there a home remedy for verdant ennui?

Nope, highways have stop signs, traffic lights, and two lane towns with low speed limits. Ever been on Highway 1 on the West Coast?

Hey Bob,

Quebec to the rest of Canada would be like you assimilating Mexico.

They are strange, we don't understand them, they are always complaining, but they do provide great food.

And the speed limit signs are just suggestions....... LOL!

Ken: Yes, indeed I have. The whole thing 3 times, both ways each time. And for the amazing reasons it exists. Otherwise, if I'm not lollygagging, that's why you guys built the 5, nes pas?

Well, yes... but the 5 is a freeway. 101 and 1 are highways.

Shawn: I totally understand. But, if you had to live in El Paso, you ARE assimilated into Mexico, or they will keeeeel you!! But the signage on the US side is ALL in the language of NATIONAL law. Not that there IS any law currently down there.

You highlight my point. There ARE choices! If you're gonna call it trans continental, then you really should mean it.

Look, I'm not really serious about this. I know that it's a huge place w/o the pop. nec. to produce the GNP for that sort of major, coast to coast infrasctructure overhaul. But even if they did, it wouldn't matter if they insist on hiring Italian C.E's

Here's my "Americuhn Ethnocentrism":

I found everything beyond Ottawa on my trip home to be frustrating. I had thought that though the Quebec Province spoke a lot of French, English was still the primary language of Canada.

I was surprised....nay, pissy!.... that all the signs were in French only. Really? They can't have them in French with English underneath...like the other areas of Canada I witnessed with English AND French on the signs? Thank God for Alice (my GPS) or I don't know that I would be home yet...especially with all the construction around Montreal.

The rest of Canada was Awesome, though. I love you, Canada. Just fix the Quebec Crap.

The #1 IS a transcontinental highway. It does indeed go from coast to coast, stop signs and all. Just because you can't drive like you're in Texas...

In Calif, freeways such as the 5 and 405 might as well be called Highways, although there are no stop lights and stop signs, you'll stop just as much because of traffic.

Quebec is a nation within a nation by definition. They get to have French as the only language required while the rest of us have to put up with dual language issues.

Think of all the money you could save on ink by not having to print both languages. You guys should make it an environmental issue.

I deduced on the trip to and from that 1) Canada must have gotten a REALLY big quantity discount on big blue and white signs that say "Ontario" on 2/3 of the surface area, leaving the other 1/3 to tell you something important in really small font and 2) the really small font was simply used to annoy BobKay if he spends 12-14 hours driving each way on a trip to Canada.

Legally, they're allowed to put smaller versions in English, but they don't. There's actual Language Police in Quebec that make sure French is the predominant language on any sign. Pre 90's they actually shutdown and charged any store with any English at all on their signs.
And the roads in Quebec are all awful as the money the province gets from the federal government for such things is squirreled away in a rainy day fund for when the province separates.

And speaking of Highway 1, I drove from L.A. to San Fran over the period of a week just a couple of weeks ago; what a gorgeous drive; feels like the edge of the Earth, which I suppose it is, depending on how your flat map is arranged.

If we have anything to match the Highway 1 drive I haven't found it yet. But I'm still looking.

I was working in Quebec at the peak of the language fights, when the local Subway (the only place to eat in the area) was closed down because they responded to the new language laws with a sign proudly identifying the store as "le Subway". Actually it was more of a "Subway" sign with a "le" sticker

When I was at my last company we ran into the language police in Montreal while doing a seminare in a Hotel. They were making sure that most of the content was presented in French.

We were complying, the up side is she thought our software was so compelling, she was goining to recommend it to her son for his business.

Wherever we live and the country we live in, we are products of our history. To understand Quebec, the people and its quirks, requires an intense study of Canadian history. They are still upset that the British defeated the French back in the 1700s on the Plains of Abraham(just north of what is now Quebec City) and they make sure the rest of the country never forgets it.
From time to time, this relationship and the politics involved, can make life quite interesting.

For our American friends I would compare Quebec to Texas. They are a little more off the wall than most of the rest of the US(just look at their current oddball governor)and in their history, on a couple of occasions they have threatened to secede from the union.

I might suggest the next trip, although maybe a little out of your way, to avoid all this stuff, is through New York state crossing at maybe Gananoque(on the eastern end of Lake Ontario then along the 401 west to Toronto) OR further west to Niagara Falls or Buffalo up through Toronto and points north from there.

The Buffalo contingent (medic8r, tomtuttle, and I) crossed here and would do it again. Convenient from US90 and takes you past some picturesque industrial plants on the western tip of Lake Ontario.

No, Quebec is not like Texas. Ugly Chauvinism run amok.

Texas is part of America and by and large proud of it. If Texas reviled the US and yearned to be part of Mexico then it would be more like Quebec.

My take on Quebec is that they like being part of Canada when it suits them and also want to be on their own to maintain their French identity/culture. I think many feel threatened by the amount of english around them and fear if they do not try to protect their French culture/background it will be lost. I believe they tend to take that protection too far and it becomes a detriment to them at times.

Quebec historically is a hotbed of Chauvinism, anti-Semitism and intolerance of anything English, including Canada and the United States. As Casey points out:



Time to get over it, but they cannot, because ultimately, it is not merely a linguistic or cultural divide, it is a religious divide. Quebec's culture resembles that of France of the mid 19th century.

The only good things I have to say about Quebec is (1) you can still get a superb Onion Soup; (2) Moishe's Restaurant in Montreal.

I believe the best thing we could do to cleanse their brains is to chip in and send BobKay up there for a week.

If that doesn't straighten them out, we'll threaten to do it again!

Sigh, the ever ugly us vs. them again.
[/rant]
Historically, when a group was conquered, they were either completely assimilated (yes, ala borg without the tech) or slaughtered. In our more enlightened age, we no longer consider that acceptable.

Quebec suffers from an (unreasonable IMO) fear that it will loose its culture and be assimilated. From there it just turns into a pissing match.

Trudeau understood the issue, but in his arrogance tried to force it. Mulroney tried a more conciliatory approach within the constitution, but paranoia is a hard thing to deal with.

Language is the ultimate expression of a culture. It captures all the nuance and quirks of a culture. Try delving into humor in another language and you begin to appreciate that.

In reality as humans, we are all much more alike than different and I just wish humanity would take the collective rod out of its ass and get on with the really important stuff.

I always loved to visit Quebec because the have a love of life that we Anglos just don't. It would be a shame to loose that.
[rant]

The French are even disliked by Canadians. No hard feelings.

Speaking of former Prime Ministers, I heard Jean Cretien had a map of Canada tattoed on his ass...everytime he bent over, Quebec tried to seperate.

The feeling is mutual. Try getting service in English in some parts of Paris.

Ah now let's not get too hard on 'em. Quebec City is gorgeous, they gave the gift of poutine to us, and have you seen the women of Montreal? Wowzers.

I've never had the pleasure of Poutine, and yes, the women in Canada tend to be beautiful, dunno why.

Come to think of it, historically speaking, wasn't Texas part of Mexico at one time or another? "Remember the Alamo"(and Davy Crockett).

Back in the day (of singleness), given the choice I'd have preferred the pleasure of Canadian women to the poutine...

Quebec's saving graces is Unibroue and cheese. Only way to make poutine is with cheese curds.

You're lucky it's almost lunch time here, because I'm starting to drool from looking at that.

I don't care what type of gravy you make for a poutine but it has to have the cheese curds. It makes this dish.

They are also known in Canada for this delicacy.

Actually, this is what your heart will look like after years of eating poutine.

Or just a week of eating this.

http://www.foodnetwork.ca/recipes/Side/Cheese/recipe.html?dishid=8697

No, Texas was an independent nation from 1830-40 (or 40-49--can't reacall) And they've threatened to cecede as recently as last year. Love for 'em to do it, 'cause it would realize their biggest fear----they WOULD be overrun by Mexico and its people.

But, I think if you were to ask, lots of us have a state we loathe way more than Texas.

Quebec is more like the "little Italy" or Chinatown section of a US city that just got waaaaay outta control. Weren't any of your forefathers paying attention?

Isolationsism-----it don't work, bitches!

And if you give me the recipes for putine and the like, I'll have it contracted out here and shipped there.

Keeping a whole bunch of people around just for their good food is like being nice to an a-hole gay guy, 'cause you're worried that you won't be able to get your hair done or buy flowers anymore.

Or your fat cousin, Gail, won't have anyone to dance with her at a party.

Decided to delete the post, it might harsh some mellows...

Sigh.... Jack and I just drool for no particular reason.

"Loonies Only" as stated on the tampon machine in a ladies restroom.

Didn't know where to mention that except here in this thread. I'm sure that seems normal for you Canadian's, but it caught me off guard. I'd forgotten what a "loonie" was!

As if, every 28 days you might be a bit loonie?

::running, hiding::

Ah. I had to google it, because the only loonie I know is the one that looks back at me when I stare in the mirror.

So, is that machine where chess disappeared to on Saturday night?

Its the machine he appeared from. Canadian version of the Tardis...

Perhaps. The only thing I know for sure is what he was up to the next morning. He was caught dancing with a rare Muskoka lake dolphin. I'm pretty sure that's him, anyway, judging by the flexibility of the guy's legs.

http://i.imgur.com/s4LV1.gif

I hope that dolphin was over 18!

Ummm. You're talking 18 years , right Fred?

Yeah, that was it.

Some bunch o' crappy friends you got there in the US.

They forgot to wish YOU a HAPPY BIRTHDAY this past week.

Maybe they got so caught up in Kate's wardrobe changes that they forgot. (There's going to be a special place in the Tower of London for a couple of milliners.)

xxoo, Your useless friends South of the 49th.

A belated Happy Canada Day!!







Um, sorry we forgot.

Canada!? Where's that?

Four hours north of Gangland....

Let's see....

School's out
Summer vacation
It's July 4th weekend
Weather is warm--no rain
The "Gangland Fair" is here until tomorrow night.

Yep, 'sgot murder(s) written all over it.

The denizens of this fiesta, both carny and patron, make a Tarrantino film look like he casts at Harvard Law School.

You're a wus, Mr. Thoroughgood. THIS is bad to the bone.

If it weren't for an ER within 4 minutes, no one would go.

Beyond a shadow of a doubt factoring in all the things most important to all of us today, THE GREATEST country in the world!

And because you ARE the greatest country in the world, I'm gonna be real nice and let you see the Stanley Cup next time you're in Boston.

Sorry Bob:

Other than being on the ice during the ceremonies after the Bruins won, I don't have to go to Boston to see the Stanley Cup. It stays permanently in its case on display at the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto!

Don't be sorry. I just like throwing that around to people who, unlike me, give a hang about hockey.

I didn't know it lived there when not being paraded about in the winning city.

It's your game, so you should get to call the shots.