Churchill?....that old stuffed shirt?? No way.

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. is my favorite author. Here's a few of his gems:

"Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae."

"Life happens too fast for you ever to think about it. If you could just persuade people of this, but they insist on amassing information."

"Thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative."

"1492. As children we were taught to memorize this year with pride and joy as the year people began living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America. Actually, people had been living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America for hundreds of years before that. 1492 was simply the year sea pirates began to rob, cheat, and kill them."

"Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance."

"Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops."

I always chuckle when I hear the quote made by Churchill when confronted by a women who pointed out he was intoxicated:

"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober, and you will still be ugly."

Great thread concept Doc.

A recent post on my site included a couple of quotes from UCLA coach John Wooden.

"Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do."

"Success comes from knowing that you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming."

Hear, hear! Vonnegut is the best. In fact, I don't think I could trust anyone who doesn't like him. To be a decent human being, one must read and appreciate Vonnegut. His books are essential and should be required reading for all. Especially young people.

Having said that, while possessing a brilliant intellect (or at least he used to), Christopher Hitchens has become a pathetic, drunken blowhard who has lost his mind and any sense of deep insight that he might have had. He reminds me of a drunk Richard Burton, except without the charm, style and talent. He is a rumply, sad and bitter man. And currently wrong on most issues.

Now a quote from one of my favorite authors (Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas was my Catcher In The Rye when I was a teenager), Hunter S. Thompson:

"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side."

" I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?"

"That is what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age"

"Comedy's in my blood, which explains why people only laugh when I'm actively bleeding."

"The only thing worse than cannibalism is eating a cannibal's puke."
"And they puke a lot, especially after eating this course that's name translates to 'One Cheek.' I can only assume it's a half-assed attempt at cannibal cuisine."

"I used to think I was good at not stepping on people's toes, but it turned out all the people I knew just had very small feet."

"You might be a redneck if you're not a blueneck or a greenneck."

"MeOWWWWWWWW!" said the cat as it entered purrgatory.

"Welcome to Hell!"
"Thanks for the super-warm welcome."

"I have an inoperable male brain on my tumor."

"If nothing is impossible, then I guess I do the impossible every day."

"There's nothing like screwing a woman made of nails, except maybe nailing a woman made of screws."

"I'm not fat. I'm just morbidly big-boned."

"I feel like I'm throwing golden boomerangs and getting back silver ones."

"I'm running for office. I guess that'll get in me in good enough shape for a desk job."

"I like looking at someone's chest and saying that I can't make heads or tails of it."

"A match made in Heaven is inferior to a lighter made in Hell."

"By the pallor of Grayscale, I have the pallor!"

Forum regulars glance around furtively and move on, as Charles single handedly kills the thread.

When life hands you a lemon, say "Oh yeah, I like lemons. What else you got?" - Henry Rollins

Bren R.

"When God hands you lemons, FIND A NEW GOD." - Powerthirst commercial