Don't just stand there, get out and celebrate National Masturbation Month. Link is pretty much safe for work.

In related news, a Brazilian judge has ruled that a 36-year-old female accountant can legally masturbate at work and watch porn on her work computer. I now have a new hero.

Yes, but the law only allows for the same porn SHE's watching!

Now I have a new hero!

It's hard to celebrate and type at the same time. . .

What if I can only masturbate to audiophile zombies?

Anyone ever wonder why I hang out here?

I have often REFLECTed on that.

That's the pinkest home page I've ever seen! Ew.

Oh, and your avatar makes me think of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, which makes me think of Hunter Thompson, which makes me think of how old I am.

And you say you chose your profession to fulfill your need to help others?

Bob, as the Celtics and Lakers recently found out, Father Time is undefeated.

ESAD!

What, do I look German? I'm not into that genre ...

You don't like to pump youself up?

Can you guys pool your money together to get me a hooker so I can celebrate, too?

Ouch!!!

That sounds very knotty.

Gotta love a woman who knows what to do with a piece of hard wood.

Edit: Should have quoted Adrian. JP sniped me. Although this Booo goes out to you too.

Must I "Boooo" you again, Adrian? Enough with the PUNishment.

Adrian = Attila, King of the Puns.

May is also:

•Asian Heritage Month (Canada)
•Asian/Pacific American Heritage Month
•Awareness of Medical Orphans Month
•Better Hearing and Speech Month
•Better Sleep Month
•Borderline Personality Disorder Month
•Brain Tumor Awareness Month
•Correct Posture Month
•Creative Beginnings Month
•Family Wellness Month
•Fibromyalgia Education and Awareness Month
•Foot Health Month
•Freedom Shrine Month
•Get Caught Reading Month
•Gifts From The Garden Month
•Go Fetch! Food Drive for Homeless Animals Month
•Haitian Heritage Month
•Heal the Children Month
•Healthy Vision Month
•Huntington's Disease Awareness Month
•International Audit Month
•International Business Image Improvement Month
•International Victorious Woman Month
•Jewish-American Heritage Month
•Latino Books Month
•Lyme Disease Awareness Month National (World)
•Meditation Month
•Motorcycle Safety Month
•National Allergy/Asthma Awareness Month
•National Arthritis Month
•National Artisan Gelato Month
•National Asparagus Month
•National Barbeque Month
•National Bike Month
•National Chocolate Custard Month
•National Egg Month
•National Family Month
•National Foster Care Month National Good Car Keeping Month
•National Good Car Keeping Month
•National Hamburger Month
•National Hepatitis Awareness Month
•National High Blood Pressure Month
•National Macaroon Day
•National Mental Health Month
•National Military Appreciation Month National
•National Moving Month
•National Mine Month
•National Osteoporosis Prevention Month
•National Photo Month
•National Physical Fitness and Sports Month
•National Physiotherapy Month
•National Preservation Month
•National Revise Your Work Schedule Month
•National Salad Month
•National Salsa Month
•National Share A Story month
•National Smile Month (From May 18 to June 17)
•National Strawberry Month
•National Stroke Awareness Month
•National Vinegar Month
•Older Americans Month
•Personal History Month
•React Month
•Strike Out Strokes Month
•Sweet Vidalia Onions Month
•Teen Self-Esteem Month
•Tennis Month
•Ultra-violet Awareness Month
•Women's Health Care Month
•Young Achievers of Tomorrow Month

I'm just glad I work from home...

I'm glad I'm not the one picking up your mail .