Just because the turd wears glasses doesn't mean it can read.
Are you calling Descartes a turd?
Don't make me go all Hegelian on yo' ass.
(That'd be so funny. In the middle of a multi-person heated discusion over interpretations of Descartes, you interrupt and say "Descartes was a turd!" Not another word or gesture. You just get up and leave. The substitutions are endless.)
Always call the place you live a house. When you're old, everyone else will call it a home.