Bob, there are less permanent forms of revenge for dealing with old crusty people than those that come with life imprisonment. I can personally attest to all of these as being effective, but non-lethal.
My personal favorite....
-- Print a fake article and carefully glue it into thier Reader's Digest on how it was recently discovered that Bob Barker was a crack addict in his final years and ran a terribly inhumane puppy mill to get drug money.
-- Convince them that jalapenos are a new kind of Bread and Butter Pickle. Printing fake labels helps.
-- Change thier brand of tea. Tell them it is no longer available any more. After getting bored with thier daily grumbling about how awefull the new stuff is, reveal that you secretly switched the boxes but the tea bags were the same.
-- Go into thier cable box and set a timer so it changes channels when the evening's local news program or Coronation Street is about to come on. (On PEI here, the evening news "Compass" is like a religion. It may not have the same effect in your locality.)
-- (This one takes some initial bravery.) Replace all of the underwear in thier underwear drawer with thongs. You need 100% replacement to be effective.
Hope this helps.
